Animal Jokes

April 15, 2013 - 2:14 am
  • Did you hear about the the fish addicted to bait? It was hooked.
  • Did you hear about the cat who worked in a kitchen mixing cake mixture? It used its whiskers.
  • Did you hear about the bird who risked getting eaten by a cat after it fell asleep on an outdoor clothes dryer? It laid its neck on the line.
  • Did you hear about the dog made from twigs and ore? It was a caneiron.
  • What did the mouse say when it had its picture taken? Cheese.
  • Did you hear about the dyslexic genital parasite? He ended up in a public house.
  • What do you call a yellow and black insect with long legs? A beetall.
  • What animal does the woman with the World’s largest breasts have? A zbra.
  • What animal is a former running man that holds average-sized breasts?  A Coebra.
  • What animal attacked a man and made bits of his body fall off? A lepered.
  • What animal is a cut up potato and an ocean? A chip-and-sea.
  • What animal is a man with a drill? A mandrill.
  • What animal comes second? A bee.
  • What animal likes rough sex and comes first? An hardfuck.
  • What animal is like a homosexual phalange of a boxer? Aligaytoe.
  • Why was the giraffe depressed? It couldn’t find a big enough scarf.
  • Why did it become more depressed? The trees were too small to hang himself, and the lakes to shallow to drown himself.
  • How did he eventually do it? Girofferdose.
  • What animal is a big mafia man who opens door? Donkey.
  • What animal is a big Israeli cymbal? Jewgong.
  • What animal is naked?
  • What animal hits balls?
  • What animal is the hair on a little yellow and black insect. Beefur.
  • What animal is a greeting in good shape? Buffhello.
  • What animal is shy and like some grains? Coyoaty.
  • What animal is a big gay prostitute? A flamingho.
  • What animal is partially made from a raised bit. Partridge.
  • What winged animal doesn’t know the words? A hummingbird.
  • What animal is darkness amongst the storm? Nightingale.
  • What animal puts aluminium into boxes? An alpaca.
  • What animal is a person beside an MDMA. Manate.
  • What animal comes out a cow’s mouth? Moos.
  • What animal comes out a German cow’s mouth? Mouse.
  • What animal travels around in London? An oyster.
  • What animals is a black man for hanging stuff on? A rackcoon.
  • Did you hear about the mad centipede scientist? He tried to stitch 10 centipedes together to create a human centipede-style centipede millipede.
  • What animal performs abortions? A wombbat.