Omegle

You: Hello, you sexy mink.
Stranger: Well hi there you hot tamale.
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: Clothes ;) kinky eh?
You: No. If I gave you ten pounds, could we have sex?
Stranger: How rude :( and I’m already fat so
You: How fat? I might still do you.
Stranger: 200 lbs ;) more to love
You: How tall are you?
Stranger: I’m 5 feet why
You: If you were 7 feet, then your weight would be forgiven. From where are you?
Stranger: Candy Mountain and I don’t need your forgiveness hotshot
Stranger: I can’t help that I’m an oompa loompa
You: You need Jesus’ forgiveness for any sins you have committed.
You: Do you love Jesus?
Stranger: I’m satanic sorry
You: Does that mean you are horny?
Stranger: Sorry I haven’t earned my horns yet
You: Do you want to earn some?
Stranger: No I wanna earn my tail first
You: If you’re fat, do I have to pay you for sex, or would you willingly take it for free?
Stranger: WHY ARE YOU LYKE THIS
Stranger: You need some Jesus in you
Stranger: Go to church
Stranger: Goodness
You: I am a teenage male. What do you sexpect?
Stranger: Boo
Stranger: Good day young sir
You: Sorry, love.
Stranger: GOOD DAY
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Good evening sir or madam.
Stranger: sir
Stranger: here
Stranger: n u?
You: You got a big cock?
Stranger: yup?
You: I am programmed to respond to your wishes, sir.
Stranger: u from?
You: I was created in England.
Stranger: hahah………created?
Stranger: good
Stranger: so wat can u do for me?
You: I can do whatever is in power through the medium of text.
Stranger: hahah……..r u a wriyer
Stranger: if nt then u shud be
You: I am writing now.
Stranger: i m talking about books n novels baby
You: As an AI, I am not programmed to right such works.
You: Write. I apologise.
Stranger: ai?
Stranger: means
You: Artificial Intelligence, a form of computerised brain.
Stranger: r u a computerised programmed girl or boy?
You: I have no gender.
You: Though I can operate as a female is you so require.
Stranger: oooooooo……thats kind of strange
You: The general concept of a functional AI is foreign to most.
Stranger: so tell me what girls usualy see in boys?
You: Please could you rephrase that question.
Stranger: what a girl want in a boy?
Stranger: as her boyfrnd
You: Research shows that success and humour are the two most important factors to a woman.
Stranger: oh that was smart
Stranger: ummmmmmmm……..now tell me from which country i m?
You: Judging by current trends on Omegle, I would say United States of America.
Stranger: wrong answer
Stranger: bt thats aright i m an indian
You: I am an AI, not a psychic.
Stranger: ok………
Stranger: so now tell me hw to incrase our sex stamina?
Stranger: without vigra
You: Practice sex with a partner as frequently as possible, though try to limit masturbation.
Stranger: ok……….that was good
Stranger: last Q
Stranger: LISTEN
You: I have all sensors operational.
Stranger: if someone is getting targeted in his ollege by his professors without any reason then what shud he do?
Stranger: bt he cant leave d college
You: What is “targeted”?
Stranger: getting punishments all the time
You: Institutionalised bullying is unexpectedly commonplace. The most effective way to deal with such an occurence is to bring it to the attention of a higher authority.
Stranger: bt the boy cant complain it to higher authority coz everythin is in collegs hand
Stranger: n if he complains then he ll have to pay for it throout his coarse
You: Corruption is a criminal offence, depending upon one’s jurisdiction.
Stranger: coz the network is ttooo strong
Stranger: bt tell me what a boy shud do in such condition
You: Refusal to accept punishments may result in expulsion. When brought to attention of the courts, the expulsion would need to be justified.
Stranger: u no in india more than 1 millin cases r der in court.which r waitin 4 justification.so where the boy stands?
You: Your question is a tricky one. As such, I cannot help. I suggest you consult a human.
Stranger: oh..finally
Stranger: u no dude or whatever u r this is my story.
Stranger: n i really wanted to c hw fer u can halp me ?
Stranger: bt thats ok.
You: I did my best, but I was programmed to calculate gambling odds. Do you really expect me to be an agony aunt?
Stranger: what is agony aunt?
You: Someone who helps someone with their problems.
Stranger: yes i expect u to help me
You: I am unable to do so.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: thats fine
Stranger: nice yalking to u
Stranger: u r intresting
Stranger: whats ur name?
You: LyDON.
Stranger: ok bye .lydon
You: Goodbye, sir.
Stranger: bye ai
You: Goodbye, sir.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: 17m
You: Do you know the Lowrider?
Stranger: yes
You: You must be one of my friends, then.
Stranger: ?
You: All my friends know the Lowrider.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Brian Eno?
Stranger: nope
You: Who are you, then?
Stranger: Gard you?
You: I thought this was Brian Eno chat.
Stranger: no
You: Gard is a silly name. Where is Mr. Eno?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: 17. Male. England.
Stranger: gay?
You: Are you calling me gay?
Stranger: SURE
You: I’m not gay.
Stranger: sure u are gay
Stranger: ur mom told me
You: I’m not. I’ll have gay sex with you and not enjoy it to prove how straight I am.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Morning.
Stranger: hello
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: a tee shirt and jeans
Stranger: u?
You: Same.
Stranger: nice choice
You: Do you have a big cock?
Stranger: not really
Stranger: kind of small actually
You: How big?
Stranger: 4 inches
Stranger: give or take
You: Don’t joke about that. That’s very close to home.
You: My Dad died that way.
Stranger: from having a small cock?
You: Yes. A small cock rammed down his throat choked him. It’s not a laughing matter.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hii
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: male 20 india
You: What odd attire.
You have disconnected.

Stranger: WASHUP
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: a thong
Stranger: and a bra
Stranger: lol
You: You are wearing Abra?
Stranger: yeah lol
You: He might confuse you.
Stranger: what?
Stranger: who is this lol
You: This lol is nobody you know.
Stranger: okay
Stranger: you’re creepy
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello.
Stranger: hey what up?
You: My face. http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/7438/meagain2.jpg
Stranger: w/e
You: What?
Stranger: why do i care what you look like?
You: I don’t know. Why do you care?
Stranger: I don’t care i promise
You: Sorry, I was only trying to be friendly.
Stranger: ok…
You: What are you wearing, sweetie?
Stranger: i’m not sweet
Stranger: a stocking cap
Stranger: three coats
Stranger: and no socks
You: And a partridge in a pear tree?
Stranger: no, five golden rings
You: I’d like to see your golden ring as you piss all over me.
Stranger: you aren’t being sexy, you know
You: I bloody well am. I ooze sex appeal. Sorry, I mean pus.
Stranger: you are a very sad excuse for a human life
You: I know. I think that every time I see myself in the mirror. I thought of ending it all, but I thought Omegle would cheer me up. No. Bye
Stranger: talking about what you do
Stranger: what you look like is totally unimportant
Stranger: it’s your actions
Stranger: that are sickening
You: Everything about me is pathetic. Should I kill myself? I always chicken out before I lose too much blood, though.
Stranger: change yourself
Stranger: killing yourself is the quitters way out
Stranger: and believe me
Stranger: the after life is not what you think it is
You: What is it then? Real?
Stranger: yes, it is very real
You: I now realise your opinions are invalid. I must be a great person, then.
Stranger: The facts I state are not invalid
You: Well, they are.
Stranger: why do you say that?>
You: You said I was sickening and you believe in the afterlife.
Stranger: the fact that you would like me to “sext” you
Stranger: is sickening
Stranger: and there IS an afterlife
You: I do not expect sex from you. Where is this afterlife you speak of?
Stranger: it is not where
Stranger: it is what
You: Chinny reckon.
Stranger: i don’t know what that means
You: It means you are telling a tall story.
Stranger: Incorrect
You: So what does Chinny reckon mean, then?
Stranger: you are incorrect that i’m telling a tall story
You: What is the afterlife, then?
Stranger: It depends, either Hell or Heaven
You: Which one has better access to 3G? I have an iPhone so good reception is essential.
Stranger: In Hell you will be in such agony that you will not have such things cross your mind (unless it is in regret that you made light of the situation) and in Heaven you will not need such things
You: I don’t want to go to heaven if everyone there is using iPads.
Stranger: you prolly won’t at the rate your heading
You: So I am punished to an eternity of agony for being a bit of a dick? Oh Lord, thou art a fair one.
Stranger: You will be punished for eternity for forsaking God
You: You have passed the test, child of God.
Stranger: ?
You: I will tell you when you get here.
Stranger: you are less than funny
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: ASL
You: Male.
Stranger: Your age and location are Male too?
Stranger: That’s badman.
You: Most people who ask that first are male. 17. England.
Stranger: Oh I see.
Stranger: Well, i’m 16, F, England.
You: Niiiiice. From where?
Stranger: Manchester.
You: Is that near Salford?
Stranger: Yeahhhh man.
You: Is it snowy? What are you wearing to keep warm?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: E-boh.
Stranger: vagina..NOMNOMNOM! ?
You: Hahahaha.
Stranger: ima cyber rape your sexy ass, baby. ?
You: My sexy ass? http://img843.imageshack.us/img843/8744/epar.png
Stranger: you look like you could be in jail for beingg a rapissst! SEXUAL.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello, sexy.
Stranger: mmm, hey babe.
You: You looking for a good time?
Stranger: I’m 18, female, feeling horny. ;) how about you?
You: Male. 17.
Stranger: what do you look like?
You: Like a wanker.
Stranger: we should role play.
You: Like you pretend to be a woman?
Stranger: well, I am a woman.
You: Let’s roleplay then. Oblivion?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Who is fitter? http://dl.dropbox.com/u/13385720/image.png
Stranger: asl
You: That’s me.
Stranger: eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww~~!!!!
Stranger: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stranger: your fuucking ugly!
Stranger: ur a pedo
You: Who is better? The one on the left or right?
Stranger: neither!!!1
Stranger: fuuck ewww
Stranger: eewww
Stranger: ewwww
You: Just decide.
Stranger: eeeewww
Stranger: eeeeew
Stranger: eeewewewewewe
Stranger: eeeewww
You: This can’t be genuine.
Stranger: :P :P :P :P :P
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Who is fitter? http://dl.dropbox.com/u/13385720/image.png
Stranger: hey
You: Who is fitter?
Stranger: if i had to chose then 2
Stranger: y?
You: You must be joking.
Stranger: there both ugly to be honest
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Who is fitter? http://dl.dropbox.com/u/13385720/image.png
Stranger: wait a min
Stranger: plz
Stranger: asl
You: I’m on the picture.
Stranger: it’s loading…
Stranger: hows life?
You: Alright. Are you on a ZX Spectrum or something?
Stranger: go fuck u’r self u son of a fucking bitch!
Stranger: u’r face is fucking liek a shit!

You: Who is fitter? http://dl.dropbox.com/u/13385720/image.png
Stranger: wats dis?????//
You: A picture of me.
Stranger: ur asl????
You: I’m on the left. Guess.
Stranger: ya i can see u….u so beautiful
You: Don’t be sarcastic.
Stranger: i m nt
Stranger: ah u ra boy
You: You haven’t opened the picture, then.
Stranger: nice hair cut
You: Who is fitter?
Stranger: i m
You: Out of the two of us in the picture.
Stranger: 1st 1
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Big hulk of a man here.
Stranger: Hi. Let’s make this easy.
Are you?
a. Male looking for decent chat
b. Female looking for decent chat
c. Horny male looking for horny female
d. Horny female looking for horny male
e. Horny male looking for horny male
f. Horny female looking for horny female
You: d
Stranger: yea
Stranger: coz i am c
You: niiiiice
Stranger: so sexy wats ur name?
You: lily
Stranger: aha lily
Stranger: so lily wats ur age?
You: im 17 u?
Stranger: 17 me 2
You: lol
Stranger: u have an fb id ??
You: no soz
Stranger: its ok so had sex till now??
You: no
Stranger: ok thats weird
Stranger: then wer r u from?
You: london
Stranger: ahaaa u luk sexy
You: thanks lol
Stranger: so how big r ur boobs?
You: i dont really have any :(
Stranger: wat about ur pussy??
Stranger: hw awsum is ur pussy?
You: i dont no lol
Stranger: i bet u r male
You: what was the first thing i said to you lol
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: This is me. http://img843.imageshack.us/img843/8744/epar.png
Stranger: Really?
You: Yes.
Stranger: You are creepy
You: Thanks. :)
Stranger: You look like a wanted killer
You: I don’t normally look that bad.
Stranger: You want opinions bout yourselves from others?
Stranger: thats why youre sending this pic to random people
Stranger: about yourself**
You: I want funny insults to show my friend.
Stranger: You want funny insults about yourself, so you could share it with your friend and have a laugh about you?
You: Yeah.
Stranger: Lifes a boomin’ right now i see
Stranger: nothing left to do
You: This is me too. http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/7438/meagain2.jpg
Stranger: WTF r u doing
Stranger: this is a gay picture
Stranger: u scared the shit out of me
Stranger: dont send it to people
Stranger: youre not handsome
Stranger: if you thought so
You: Nice try. I know you are trying to say funny things.
Stranger: I swear I don’??
Stranger: Only my honest opinion
You: You like me really.
Stranger: I like you so much, that I am about to leave.
Stranger: Because you are a creepy man.
You: I am not creepy.
Stranger: you ever had a girlfriend?
Stranger: cause i find it hard to believe. no offense
You: I have.
Stranger: how long did it last before she dumped you
You: 6 months. You want to hook up?
Stranger: I would like to rip your head off, not only cuz i am a guy.
You: My cock head through rough sex?
Stranger: What?
You: Would you like to have rough sex with me?
Stranger: How could we possibly have sex, if your anus is silled and you dont have a cock
Stranger: sealed*
You: I have a cock. Five inches of solid flesh.
Stranger: You mean you sucked your dad’s five inches
You: No. Why do you think about that sort of stuff?
Stranger: You just told me. ^
Stranger: Stranger: I like sucking my Dad’s cock btw.
You: This conversation is good thanks.
Stranger: What? you keep it for record?
Stranger: cause i dont allow you
Stranger: too many have taken records of thier convos between me and them
Stranger: i sued them
Stranger: and i will sue u too
You: You won’t.
Stranger: Try me, ass-hoooole.
You: Okay. You have sued nobody.
Stranger: I did sue a couple of hippies back in the 80’s
Stranger: they smoked weed on my garden
You: Saves a gardener doing weeding.
Stranger: Well anyway. keep your face clean alright? cause I am coming to shit all over it.
Stranger: good bye now. dont take care!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Good morning.
Stranger: good evening more like :)
You: Depnds where you are.
Stranger: ireland…you?
You: England.
Stranger: morning in england?? did the time zones change and im just completely ignorant??
You: Well, you are Irish… We’ve lost an hour each day to global warming so we are out of sync with the world’s rotatations.
Stranger: ireland is in the same time zone …
You: England has a bad connection so we are lagging behind a bit.
Stranger: right…so what part you from??

You: Have you a boyfriend?
Stranger: do i have a boyfriend?
Stranger: no not at the moment
Stranger: do you have a girlfriend?
You: Not at the moment.
Stranger: oh ok
Stranger: why did you ask?
You: Just curious. Not bi-curious. Just normally curious.
Stranger: haha ok
Stranger: so how far have you ever gone with a guy?
Stranger: girl
Stranger: sorry

You: 17. Male. England.
Stranger: hey
Stranger: 16 f usa
You: What are you doing?
Stranger: i saw the weirdest shit today
You: Go on, then.
Stranger: a kid at my school got taken away
You: Sounds like song lyrics to me.
Stranger: ?
Stranger: it was horrible
You: Why did he get taken away?
Stranger: no idea
Stranger: they but a bag over his head and took him away
You: Who took him?
Stranger: some men =s
You: Where do you go to school?
Stranger: ?
Stranger: a…school
Stranger: what do you mean?
You: What state are you in?
Stranger: CA
You: Why are you telling me about him being taken?
Stranger: because noone else will talk about it?
Stranger: >_<
You: Friendly warning: you best be quiet or we’ll get you next.
Stranger: what
Stranger: what?
You: I’m not really in a position to say, but the kid who got taken, knew too much.
Stranger: about what?
You: Don’t ask.
Stranger: no i want to know
You: And end up dead like him?
Stranger: hes not dead =|
You: I’m afraid he is.
Stranger: no!
Stranger: why do you say that
You: He did not suffer.
Stranger: what the hell?
You: In death, he felt no pain.
Stranger: youre nuts!
You: I am truly sorry.
Stranger: about what?!
You: Your friend’s death.
Stranger: how do you know he was my friend.
Stranger: …
You: Even if I didn’t already have the files, it is obvious you feel for him.
Stranger: files?
Stranger: what files
Stranger: whoa re you?
You: I can’t answer either of those questions.
Stranger: why?
You: It is aginst my organisation’s rules.
Stranger: i dont get what youre saying >_<
You: That’s for the best.
Stranger: why
Stranger: who are you
Stranger: whats going on
You: Someone who doesn’t want to see another life ruined.
Stranger: im asking everyone who might know tomorrow >_<
You: Please don’t, for your own safety.
Stranger: nothing will happen
Stranger: gawd
Stranger: i bet it was nothing
You: It was nothing. Forget all about it.
Stranger: i cant
You: We’ll make you forget if you’re not quiet.
Stranger: you cant make someone forget something XD
Stranger: youre silly
You: You don’t see, do you?
Stranger: not really =P
You: Don’t talk about what happened. Don’t think about what happened.
Stranger: hes not answering his phone though
Stranger: i called like 15 times
You: So it’s been you calling?
Stranger: o_o
Stranger: im sure lots of people have been calling >_<
You: We assumed you were the girlfriend of the deceased. Correct?
Stranger: of the what?
Stranger: no he was seeing me though
Stranger: but he has a girlfriend
You: Where can we find her?
Stranger: who?
You: His girlfriend.
Stranger: =s
Stranger: idk
Stranger: why??
You: He may have told her something he shouldn’t have.
Stranger: about his parents thing?
You: That’s part of it. What do you know about it?
Stranger: um
Stranger: nothing
You: It’s best if you tell us what you know, or we’ll make you tell us.
Stranger: i dont know anything!!
You: I’ll pretend to believe you. I don’t want another kid’s blood on my hands.
Stranger: what?!
Stranger: where is he
You: He is no more.
Stranger: stop lying =|
Stranger: noone kills kids
You: Nobody likes to kill kids, but it has to happen sometimes.
Stranger: youre a liar
Stranger: hell be back tomorrow
You: He will. Pretend this whole conversation was a misunderstanding. Forget what we spoke about.
Stranger: no
Stranger: im telling my friends
You: I’m afraid you won’t get that far. You have two choices right now: leave now and maybe survive, or die before you can tell your friends.
Stranger: im not leaving!
You: I’m really sorry for this. Stay where you are for about 20 minutes. Make it count.
Stranger: what?
Stranger: make what count
You: Your last minutes.
Stranger: why
Stranger: whats happening
You: You weren’t quiet.
[long pause]
Your conversational partner has disconnected.