Omegle

You: I will rip your balls off.
Stranger: hei
You: Hello.
Stranger: bullshiit
Stranger: wtf was that?
You: What?
Stranger: rip balls, then hello
Stranger: yeayea u americans
You: Sorry. I must have typed that here by accident.
You: It was meant for another conversation.
Stranger: yea sure
Stranger: haha
Stranger: haha
You: I’m not American.
Stranger: no way
Stranger: ohh yeas you are
Stranger: okey then your englishman
You: Sort of.
Stranger: wales
Stranger: ??
You: I’m English but I’m only a kid.
Stranger: okey
Stranger: england??
You: Yes.
Stranger: well well
Stranger: Wales rock
You: Wales is Gayles.
Stranger: is that a compliment or what?
You: No. You are gay.
Stranger: bullshiiit
You: Bulltrue.
Stranger: but im not a pedo like you
You: No, but you do fuck sheep and Welsh women. I’m not sure which is worse.
Stranger: celtic womens
Stranger: nahh im not ginger
Stranger: like you
You: How do you know so much about me?
Stranger: you really are a ginger huh?
You: Only my cock.
Stranger: your cock?
Stranger: okay..
You: Got a problem with my cock?
Stranger: im not gay man
You: You are a gay man.
Stranger: No.
Stranger: do ginger have soul?
Stranger: no
You: Well, I saw you bumming Tom Jones.
Stranger: and who is “Tom Jones”
You: Yor boyfriend.
Stranger: jeez
Stranger: oki
You: You love him.
Stranger: you like joans brother dont you?, a funny littel abgry man
You: I don’t know Joan or her brothers.
Stranger: then go anf fuck that…gordon for fuck sayk
Stranger: gordon brown
You: Why? I’m not gay like you are.
Stranger: A I?
Stranger: no.
You: I’m not homophobic, so don’t worry.
Stranger: okay you gay oerfectionist
Stranger: go and take some childrens
You: I may just do that.
Stranger: there
Stranger: a confession
You: It would be a female child, though. Not a little boy like you would pick.
Stranger: but your still pedo
You: At least I’m not gay like you, you sick pervert.
Stranger: you and your gayness
Stranger: nothing more to say
You: OK, queer.
Stranger: bye , you bastard
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: i represet omegle
Stranger: i toooo
Stranger: im the CEO of omegle
Stranger: :P
You: no u hav 2 pay 4 omegle now what is ur credit card?
Stranger: sbi
You: what r the number on yor credit cad?
Stranger: tell me ur credit card number.. i’ll transfer to u
You: relly?
Stranger: 7468779946643670
You: thanks 4 that u suckr
Stranger: ffffffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stranger: u suck
You: im going to by a pony
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: i m a rapist
Stranger: oooooooooo
You: how old r u?
Stranger: how many girls hve u fucjed
Stranger: 16
Stranger: male
You: none what r u wearing?
Stranger: nthng
Stranger: m nude
Stranger: right now
You: nice r u fingering you arse?
Stranger: yup
You: do u hav shit all on yor fingers?
Stranger: watz ur country
Stranger: nup
You: oh i am englanf
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I’ll talk to a rapist, but I draw the line at an Englishman.

Stranger: asl?
You: Yes.
Stranger: female?
You: Yes.
Stranger: what name?
You: No.
Stranger: fuck u what no waht yes
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hey, sexy.
Stranger: Hi there.
Stranger: ASL?
You: 17. Male. England.
Stranger: What do you look like?
You: http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/7438/meagain2.jpg
Stranger: Describe yourself then. :)
You: That is me.
Stranger: Because I don’t share pics online for privacy reasons.
You: I’m not asking for any.
Stranger: So I’d prefer a good description.
You: Ugly.
Stranger: Aw, I wouldn’t say so!
Stranger: Here, I’ll check the pic for you.
Stranger: It’s not so bad.
You: Thanks.
You: What is your A, S and L?
Stranger: 23 f USA.
You: Why are you perving over teenage boys on Omegle?
Stranger: You started it.
Stranger: Besides, you wanted an opinion.
Stranger: You were hitting on me.
You: Are you impressed?
Stranger: Oh god, nobody can talk on Omegle without bringing sex up. Boring. I’ll find myself a woman to talk to instead.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I wasn

You: :)
Stranger: hi
Stranger: :P
You: Male.
Stranger: same
You: Gay?
Stranger: no
You: I’m fairly sure you are.
Stranger: y?
Stranger: just coz i dont next u?
You: Because I saw you having a bum with your boyfriend.
Stranger: u dont even know who i am
You: I know you’re gay, though.
Stranger: im not. i just got back from my girlfiends house
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: 17. Male. England.
Stranger: hey
You: Hello.
Stranger: 15 female
Stranger: NZ
Stranger: hi
You: That’s in Australia, isn’t it?
Stranger: haha no new zealand is near australia though
You: They are pretty much the same, I’m sorry to say.
Stranger: fuck you!
You: Calm down, dear.
Stranger: new zealand is way better
Stranger: haha im calm
You: Good. What brings you to Omegle, little girl?
Stranger: little girl?? um im bored
Stranger: im only 2 years younger than you
You: You’re still younger.
Stranger: you sound like your 30
Stranger: but oh how come your on omegle?
You: I’m looking for Australian girls.
Stranger: ohh.. well ill leave then
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Some deliberate mistakes in this one:
You: Am I a sey [not deliberate] girl? http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/7438/meagain2.jpg
Stranger: sinep
Stranger: thats what u are
You: You are a tnuc.
Stranger: I know
Stranger: :D
Stranger: I am the tilc master
You: What the fuck is a retsam?
Stranger: >_>
Stranger: If i could show u how im facpalmin rite now
You: What would you be wearing if you were at the beach?
Stranger: zZzZZZZI am a the beachzzZZZzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz
Stranger: and im wearin shorts
You: Niiiice.
Stranger: shes naked tho
You: That is sick.
Stranger: nope its not
You: Naked womans are icky.
Stranger: I get to look at a hot girl
Stranger: I guess ur gay then
You: That’s gay, man.
You: You’re gay.
Stranger: I just had sex dude
Stranger: with a chick
You: Sounds gay to me.
Stranger: okay
Stranger: whats not gay thenh
Stranger: I own a horse u know
You: Having sex with women is straight.
Stranger: u just said it was gay
You: No. I said you were gay.
Stranger: I just had sex dude
Stranger: how is that gay
Stranger: (well its gay if u had it with a dude but i didnt)
You: You seem to be talking about it a lot. Was it your first time?
Stranger: on the beach yes
You: Virgin.
Stranger: it was kinda uncomfortable tho
You: Is that so, faggot?
Stranger: yes she was
You: Five-year-olds tend to be.
Stranger: u jelly
You: You’re a gay paedophile.
Stranger: am i?
Stranger: I didnt know
You: Because you are ingorant.
Stranger: is bein INGORANT cool?
You: It’s spelled ignorant, you moron.
Stranger: o rly
Stranger: its spelt pedophile mormon
Stranger: bottom line
You: No, it’s definitely spelled “ignorant”.
Stranger: I got laid u didnt
Stranger: I know
You: Well done. I wish I had sex.
Stranger: i made an accent on what u mispelled
You: What did I spell wrong?
Stranger: with u being gay there’s a smaller chance for u to get laid
You: I only became gay to get a fuck.
Stranger: reread
You: Wait. You are gay, not me.
Stranger: well ur dad certainly made ur dream come true little man
You: Well if that’s so, then why are you?
Stranger: why am I
Stranger: ?
You: Yes.
Stranger: wtf does that mean?
You: Can’t you understand simple sentences? Even a lamb can read sentences. You’re such an idoit.
Stranger: actly a lamb cant read sentences especially when idiot is mispelled
You: I spelled it correctly.
Stranger: ok idoit is the rite way to spell it…?
You: No, you fool. It is spelled “idiot”.
Stranger: u wrote idoit u dumb fuck
You: No. I didn’t.
Stranger: stop being such a dumb fuck
Stranger: check again
You: “You’re such an idiot.” I spelled it correctly.
Stranger: “Can’t you understand simple sentences? Even a lamb can read sentences. You’re such an idoit.”
You: Anybody can change quotes.
Stranger: anybpody can look up and read what they just wrote
You: You can’t, apparently. I wrote “idiot”.
Stranger: anybody*
Stranger: lol u just wont except the fact that u wrote it wrong when its rite in front of u
You: So how old are you?
You: It is spelled correctly. Are you taking the piss?
Stranger: 22
Stranger: u
You: 17 years young.
Stranger: well it shows that younger ppl can be smarter than the elders
You: Yep. Do you like me?
Stranger: wait r 17 or 17 years older
You: I am 17.
You: Simple sentence…
Stranger: ok than i take back what I said before
Stranger: and change it to
You: “I am an idiot”?
Stranger: well it shows that older ppl can be smarter than the young ones
Stranger: ur too much fun to talk with
You: Thanks, love.
Stranger: ur simply denying the fact that u spelled something wrong
You: I spelled it right. Just admit you were wrong.
Stranger: 1)u spelled it wrong
Stranger: 2)I pointed it out
Stranger: 3)u corrected it and told me u were rite
Stranger: 4)denial
You: 8) -That’s you that is.
Stranger: ok nm
Stranger: i
You: am gay.
Stranger: r u b
Stranger: ritish
You: Yes.
Stranger: typical stupidity
You: It’s spelled “You are better than me.”
Stranger: okay
Stranger: I agree with u
Stranger: I am in fact better than u
Stranger: gotta ng
Stranger: o
You: What?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: monkey slut
You: Hey there, my little Weetabix. I’m not a monkey.
Stranger: n’awww, weetabix :3
Stranger: you have made my day!
You: I can make your babies too if you let me.
Stranger: sure! jump on!
You: We may have to adopt.
Stranger: really? why?
You: Do you have a fertile uterus?
Stranger: i do
You: Niiiiiice. From where are you?
Stranger: england
Stranger: yourself?
You: The UK. Where’s England?
Stranger: oh dear…
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: I have a small penis and I’m ugly and fat.
Stranger: Oh
Stranger: nice
You: Really?
Stranger: Umm fck no you perv
Stranger: bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: I know some words.
Stranger: yea me too:)
You: Niiiice.
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: jeans and a shirt :)
Stranger: you ?
You: The same. I probably look better in it than you do, though.
Stranger: and why is that ?
You: I am a dreamboat.
Stranger: oh yea ?
Stranger: well im a yacht
You: Where are you moored?
Stranger: moored?
You: Parked.
Stranger: in my fridge
Stranger: do you have any fetishes ?
You: I like stamp collecting and Xbox.
Stranger: thats a fetish ?
You: Is a fetish like a hobby?
Stranger: nooo..
You: Oh. I like pissing and public sex.
Stranger: thats cool
Stranger: why o you like those stuff ?
You: I don’t know. I just do. What turns you on?
Stranger: yogurt
You: Man yogurt?
Stranger: in the fridge
Stranger: i never heard of man yogurt
You: It is cum. Do you see?
Stranger: i dont see anything
You: If you are blind, you are my ideal boyfriend or girlfriend.
Stranger: what do you have against blind people ?
You: My cock hopefully.
Stranger: why ?
is it small?
You: It is massive. Five inches.
Stranger: you calll that massive ?
Stranger: PETIT
You: I do pet it. Very regularly.
Stranger: like a cat ?
You: It’s not qute as hairy or feline as a cat.
Stranger: oh so its like a naked cat ?
You: Yes. It has bits sticking out of. They are my genital warts.
Stranger: OH!
like a frog ?
You: It is as slimy as a frog and some of it is green.
Stranger: are you like the hulk ?
You: Do you expect me to keep comparing myself to things in an attempt to seem funny when I’m obviously not funny?
Stranger: well the seriousness of this conversation is very comical, therefore i am laughing, i think you should go see a penis doctor
You: Do you want to take a look?
Stranger: yes
You: http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/7438/meagain2.jpg A dick.
Stranger: awee your dick is cute
You: Don’t be sarcastic.
Stranger: i’m not its very unique
You: Imagine having to wear it on your face for all time.
Stranger: is that really you ?
You: Yes.
Stranger: i feel bad for you.
You: Should I kill myself?
Stranger: noo
You: Why not?
Stranger: cause suicide isnt the answer to anything
You: Do you know anyone ever who could look at me without being physically sick all over my ugly face?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hey
You: Hello.
Stranger: asl?
You: Male.
Stranger: age?
You: 17. England.
Stranger: nicee
Stranger: 16 usa
You: Male or the worse one?
Stranger: lol
Stranger: female
Stranger: is female supposed to be the worse one?
You: Yes. What brings you to Omegle?
Stranger: nothingreally. just bored. so talking to random people to kill time
Stranger: how about you?
You: Looking for a pretty young American girl so I can kill her in her sleep after sexually torturing her. Where do you live, out of interest?
Stranger: …
You: I mean I am bored. I’m not a murderer.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hey 20 male before u ask
You: Hello.
You: Sex?
Stranger: no
You: That’s a shame.
Stranger: why? i have sex wit my girrl
You: That’s gay. You’re gay.
Stranger: ur the only gay here
Stranger: look at u buddy
You: I’m not gay. You are gay. Gays disconnect or reply.
Stranger: ur desesperate buddy
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
[He

You: Bum sex?
Stranger: …………….
You: Is that a yes?
Stranger: thats a pause
You: A pause before a yes?
Stranger: just shut up
You: I am sorry. Why are you so grumpy?
Stranger: im not grumpy
You: You are a grumpy puss. What would cheer you up?
Stranger: and no i dnt want to have bumb sex
You: OK. What do you do for fun?
Stranger: gaming,cooking,movies etc you?
You: Gaming and making music. What games do you play?
Stranger: call of duty,dead space,littlebigplanet,god of war etc you?
You: Red Dead Redemption, Halo, Viva Pinata.
Stranger: cool
You: What is your favourite game ever?
Stranger: littlebigplanet
Stranger: yours?
You: Fallout 3. From where are you?
Stranger: you mean where am i from?
Stranger: new york
You: The city or the state?
Stranger: i live close to the city
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 17 you?
You: 1 years old, give or take (give) 16 years.
Stranger: your older than me by 16 years?
You: No. I am 1

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: Hello.
Stranger: hellllllllllloooooo
Stranger: ;D
You: I sampled a cat.
Stranger: what about the zombie funguss
Stranger: ?
You: I do not know of that musical group.
Stranger: ever heard of skinny puppy?
You: No. Chimney Factory?
Stranger: never heard of them lol
Stranger: what kind of music do you listen too?
You: Music like this: http://soundcloud.com/inpropaic/
Stranger: umm this library computer fails
Stranger: so it wont copy or paste but what kind of music is it
You: Electronic.
Stranger: i love industrial
Stranger: ALOT
You: Why don’t you marry it?
Stranger: i should huh?
Stranger: asl?
You: 17. Male. England.
Stranger: lol nice how is your fucking queen?
You: I don’t know her.
Stranger: im joking you fuck
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello.
Stranger: hello, m or f?
You: Male.
Stranger: male too
You: Gay?
Stranger: yup
You: What do you want to do to me?
Stranger: nothing
Stranger: I have porn
You: That stuff is gay.
Stranger: you point your phrase, you’re talking like old pedophiles =P try not using it again
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: im mail
Stranger: im femail
You: It’s spelled “female”.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hello
You: I am not gay. Hello.
Stranger: i see
You: Are you gay?
Stranger: no
You: If you were, I would laugh because being homosexual is funny.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: 17. Male. England.
Stranger: hey
You: Hello.
Stranger: same except american
You: Amerigay, more like.
Stranger: fuck you dick breathed bloak
You: Calm down, gay.
Stranger: slut
You: Would my soothing face calm you down? http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/7438/meagain2.jpg
Stranger: haha you look like shaggy from scooby doo
You: You look like Fred from Scooby Doo. i.e. gay.
Stranger: i do love italian sausage
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: 21 m from england.. sup?
You: I’m not gay.
Stranger: so
You: Are you?
Stranger: no
You: You look it.
Stranger: lol
You: Laugh it up, fag.
Stranger: your the one capitalising bitch
Stranger: OCD
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Have you a cock?
Stranger: i do
Stranger: why
You: For urinating and sexual intercourse.
Stranger: do you have one?
You: Yes, and a mighty fine jersey too.
Stranger: lol
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: NO JIMMY PROTESTED!
You: Disconnect if you are gay.
Stranger: are u?
You: No, but you are.
Stranger: am I?
You: Yes.
Stranger: how do you know?
You: Because you are gay.
Stranger: Looks like you have a lot of eveidence therefore a great argument
You: I don’t need evidence because you are gay.
Stranger: Wow. Your so funny.
Stranger: You think your really clever.
You: Is that what you say to you’re gay boyfriend?
Stranger: yeah. he turns me on
You: Shut up, fag.
Stranger: I have better things to do than talk to you.
Stranger: goodbye.
You: Like sucking cock.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Da da da da daaaaa.
Stranger: mario?:)
Stranger: :DDD
You: No.
Stranger: can you imagine it is?
You: No. Which bit?
Stranger: huh?
Stranger: o-O
You: Which bit would it be?
Stranger: urrrhhhh the da part:D
You: Da da da
You: Da da da da
You: Da da da da da da da da da daaa
You: That is Mario.
Stranger: yeeeessss your cool:3
You: Cool as a badass muthafucka pimp.
Stranger: haha hells ya:D
You: Do you want to have sex with a cool stud like me?
Stranger: oh yes you know it;)
You: Niiiiice. Are you male or inferior?
Stranger: imma wookie:)
Stranger: but a female wookie
You: I can show you the ropes, despite your lisp.
Stranger: but my lisp is sexy
You: From where are you Wookie?
Stranger: your pants alabama:D
You: What age are you?
Stranger: 16:)
Stranger: and you?
You: Seventeen years young. What brings you to Omegle, little girl?
Stranger: AHHHHHH CREEPY OLD MEN!!!!!!!!!DDDDDD:
Stranger: and its for kids
Stranger: not old guy to jack off to
You: Should I put it away, then?
Stranger: ….no
You: I don’t even have it out, for once.
Stranger: crap
You: What are your hobbies?
You: Sorry, I meant to say Hobbits.
Stranger: wtf?
Stranger: what the hell is a hobbit
You: You know what a Hobbit is.
Stranger: is that something a old man does
Stranger: is that a sex position
You: I’m not even going to play your little game. You know what it means.
Stranger: but i dont
Stranger: what the fuck is it?????
You: It is a small humanoid featured in the book “The Hobbit”.
Stranger: …..WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?!
You: And Lord of the Rings.
Stranger: ohhhhh your one of those old guys wo is a geek so no one wants to have sex with you so you come on omegle to get teenagers
Stranger: IM ON TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!
Stranger: thats sick
You: I’m not that much of a geek. I haven’t even read the books.
Stranger: the how the hell do you know what it is?
Stranger: do you read the twilight series?
You: Because I am knowledgable. Now, are we going to have sex or not, sweetie?
You: No.
Stranger: hmmm well i dont know
Stranger: how much do you want it
You: This much.
Stranger: how much is that?
You: With all of my cock. Which actually isn’t much.
Stranger: i only like the big cocks the make me orgasim like crazy
You: Oh.
Stranger: sorry
You: I suppose a dick would have to be big to please a Wookie.
Stranger: exactly
You: What do you do for fun?
Stranger: sex and cheerleading
You: At once?
Stranger: yes have you ever had a girl do the splits on you?
You: I wish.
Stranger: well the guys i do it to enjoy it very much
You: I’m sure they do. What do you like sexually?
Stranger: EVERYTHING!!!!!
You: Even kissing?
Stranger: my mouth is usually somewhere else
You: You are such a whore.
Stranger: and your a old guy who cant get none
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello.
Stranger: Greetings.
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: im wearing a pencil skirt with a halter top
You: Niiiiiice. Are you female?
Stranger: haha yes
You: From where are you?
Stranger: south carolina
Stranger: ou?
Stranger: and what are you wearing?
You: England. Pants and a dressing gown.
Stranger: a dressing gown? how nice
You: Got a problem with my look?
Stranger: no
Stranger: i love it
You: How old are you?
Stranger: im 18
You: What brings you to Omegle, old lady?
Stranger: old lady? how old are you, sir?
You: I’m one years old, give or take (give) 16 years.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.