Omegle

DISCLAIMER: I’M NOT REALLY A RACIST SEXIST HOMOPHOBE MURDERER SEX-PEST PAEDOPHILE.
OK, I am, but I’m not gay.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy gurl u wan sum fuk?????????? wan taste 12 yrs old dik?????
You: They definitely don’t.
Stranger: you mean centimeter peter
You: Don’t joke about stuff like that.
Stranger: sory dude mt bad thought ut was funny
You: There’s nothing funny about having a micropenis.
Stranger: except the laugjs you would get from women lol
You: They are just hurtful.
Stranger: damn man you sohnd like you exoerience this problem lol
You: No. Shut up.
Stranger: golly gee did i strike a nerve
You: Why are you being so mean?
Stranger: not bein mean jus kiddin around
You: Well stop.
Stranger: dint think u were serious
Stranger: why?
You: It’s not funny.
Stranger: how do u auffer from this
You: I don’t. Just shut up.
Stranger: or does your boyfriend hVe that problem
You: I’m not gay either. I thought he was a woman.
Stranger: wtf
You: Nothing.
Stranger: sounds gay to.me
You: At least I’m not a paedophile.
Stranger: so your male fuck buddy has this problem
Stranger: and im no pedo either
You: Then why do you have sex with children?
Stranger: i dont every girl i have had sex with has been over 18 even when i was younger they like the size sorry bro i dnt got your problem
You: Every girl you had sex with was over 18, but the boys you have sex with are probably only about 5.
Stranger: i dont have sex with boys i dnt like dick just have one
You: You love sucking cock.
Stranger: do you keep the magnifying glass by you bed now so you can find your brothers dick
You: If I wanted to find my brother’s dick, I’d look inside your mouth.
Stranger: aint no dick in my mouth
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
if you’re atheist or agnostic, you need a good slap across your ugly face.
You: How do you know I’m ugly?
Stranger: whats up flanders
You: What’s up him? A buttplug.
Stranger: haha
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Question to discuss:
I just wanted to share the love! Have a nice day you adorable stranger, and remember that somewhere out there, there’s someone thinking about you :) Greetings from a lebanese guy..
You: How can a guy be a lesbian?
Stranger: Naww, thanks :’)
You: You’re welcome.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
Do you like Rin Kagamine x Miku Hatsune? <3
You: No.
You: I hate it.
Stranger: none
Stranger: ikr
You: It is the worst Japanese thing.
Stranger: ikr
Stranger: idont even know them
You: Me neither.
Stranger: so
Stranger: wat up
You: My cock. I am erect.
Stranger: cool
Stranger: :p
You: That is a sexy face.
Stranger: ikr
You: Got a boyfriend, gayboy?
Stranger: no
You: Why not?
Stranger: idk
You: Are you hideously ugly?
Stranger: no
You: Yes you are.
Stranger: how do u know
You: Webcam.
Stranger: wat wed cam
You: The one I installed in your room.
Stranger: do i didnt
Stranger: i dont even know
Stranger: y are u being such a dick
You: Because you are very ugly. You should be in a carnival.
Stranger: i know something u dont want to talk to me cuz u r gay
Stranger: and still a virgin
Stranger: and still wanna be a virgin until marrage
You: You are a virgin and gay and ugly, so I win.
Stranger: u know wat ugly dick useless bastard gay ass smart idoit
Stranger: ass hole
Stranger: motherfuker
Stranger: rapist
Stranger: virgin
Stranger: gay
Stranger: ungly
Stranger: single
Stranger: asss hole
You: Why are you being so mean to me?
Stranger: u were mean to me first
You: I was being friendly.
Stranger: like i said u r a stupid dick
You: You’ll never lose your virginity if you treat people like this.
Stranger: sory already lost t
You: Was your Dad gentle?
Stranger: u ass
Stranger: it wasnt my dad
You: Uncle?
Stranger: boyfriend
Stranger: i reped him
You: That’s a bit gay.
Stranger: sory am a female
You: I’m sorry for being mean. Do you want to meet up sometime? Please have sex with me.
Stranger: k
You: Whore.
Stranger: gay
You: Do you want me to come and rape you to prove I’m not gay?
Stranger: ok
You: Whore.
Stranger: my pussy is opened
You: Close it to keep it warm please until I get there.
Stranger: gay
You: What’s your address, sugarcube?
Stranger: y
You: I want to come round.
Stranger: where do u live
Stranger: am a porn actress
You: Really? I thought you had to be pretty to be a porn actress?
Stranger: ur mom
You: You’re my Mum? What are you doing on Omegle, mother?
Stranger: omg
Stranger: now i know who u r
Stranger: u r that
Stranger: beggar i saw on street
You: Was it that obvious?
Stranger: then i saw u kissing a guy
You: Oh no. The truth’s coming out now. Then what did I do?
Stranger: u told me to close my pussy and keep it warm well it still open and warm cuz am hot and pretty and straight unlike u
You: So you’re sitting about with a gaping cunt? How does that reflect badly on me?
Stranger: that shows u r gay
You: My Jap’s eyes is open wide at the moment. Does that make me gay?
Stranger: well let skip this part and ahve sex
Stranger: i mean am sitting close 2
Stranger: pussy
Stranger: breast poen
Stranger: dick should be inside by now
Stranger: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
Stranger: like am HORNY
Stranger: need SEX
You: I’m sure you can find a horse or leper who don’t mind about your looks.
Stranger: okey bye
You: Bye, honeybabe.
Stranger: dont call me namme uglyshit
You: Why not, buttonmuff?
Stranger: why not dwarfdick
You: Why are you thinking about my penis? You have a dirty mind.
Stranger: cuz am horny
You: You should get a sex toy, because there’s no way anyone would want to have sex with you.
Stranger: sorry u already did
You: I must have been very drunk to have sex with you. Still counts, though.
Stranger: well am prennagent
You: No! Why do the good always get prennagent?!
Stranger: i was meant to be gone
Stranger: bye uglyshit
Stranger: any last words before i leave
You: Please may I have a nude photo?
Stranger: no
Stranger: am ugly
You: I don’t mean one of you, Heaven forbid. Just one of a pretty girl will do.
Stranger: okey
Stranger: e-mail
You: lapearsall@googlemail.com Send me porn please.
Stranger: no
Stranger: just go on
Stranger: 4tube
Stranger: cartoontube
You: Can you recommend any search terms?
Stranger: or something
Stranger: i ddint understand
You: What kind of porn should I look at?
Stranger: any
You: Even stuff with kids and dead people? You make me sick.
Stranger: yes
You: I searched that and it came up with some sort of warning. What does that mean?
Stranger: what waning type it
You: “The search terms you have entered are forbidden. Your IP address has been logged.”
Stranger: maybe it because of ur face
You: At least you can tell it’s a face. The thing on your head looks like mash potato and beans.
Stranger: it a ur dick
You: You can leave whenever you want, suncakes.
Stranger: k
Stranger: i love u
Stranger: anyways
You: Love you too.
Stranger: joke
You: Yeah. Me too…
Stranger: so do u like me
You: Other than your appearance, yes.
Stranger: thx
Stranger: but i dont like u dick appearance
Stranger: say thx
You: You don’t look that bad actually, Ifeoluwa.
Stranger: how do u know my name
Stranger: who are u
Stranger: where are u
You: Somebody who knows you very well, Miss David-Oluwole. You know where I am.
Stranger: what ur name
Stranger: where
You: You know who I am and where I am, babe.
Stranger: no
Stranger: Tell me now
You: Why are you so curious?
Stranger: idk
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: tell me who u are
You: A friend.
Stranger: from where
You: Ghana?
Stranger: who
You: I’m not going to tell you. Stop being creepy.
Stranger: oh yes u r
You: You keep asking where I live and what my name is. That is creepy.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: just tell me ur name
You: Lydon. Happy now, pervert?
Stranger: how do u know mw
You: I’ve been watching you.
Stranger: how
You: With my eyes.
Stranger: plz tell me about u
Stranger: and i will answer any questions
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: u fist answer my question then will answer urs
You: I watch you with the webcam.
Stranger: more information
You: The webcam I installed in your room to spy on you.
Stranger: am not n my roon
You: I can see that. I’m not looking at you at the moment.
Stranger: so who is in the room right now
You: Some weirdo.
Stranger: tellme
Stranger: so that i can answer u ques#
You: I’m not going to play your little game. I’ll just wait until you go to bed to see what you’re wearing.
Stranger: no
You: How are you going to stop me seeing?
Stranger: just tell me who u r
You: I’ve already told you.
Stranger: full information
Stranger: like how u new
Stranger: knew
Stranger: me
Stranger: how old are u
Stranger: which skul
Stranger: etc
You: 19. I just watch you when you go to school.
Stranger: tell me more
Stranger: how do u know me
You: I just saw you one day and so I wanted to know more about you. I asked about and learned quite a bit. I probably know more about you than you do.
Stranger: where
You: What about where?
Stranger: where did u see me
You: On the way to school. A few months ago.
Stranger: where did u see me
Stranger: in the school
You: No. On the way there.
Stranger: i cant remember
Stranger: which school
You: Your school, of course. I should be going now.
Stranger: what the name
You: I’ve just forgotten.
Stranger: lie
Stranger: i jusst sent u a e-mail
You: Unless it’s a topless photo of you, this conversation is over.
Stranger: no
Stranger: u dont know me liar
You: No I don’t. I just guessed your name.
Stranger: no isent u an e-mail
Stranger: and my name was there
You: Looks like my fun is over.
Stranger: so my face isnt bad
You: I would certainly jizz all over it.
Stranger: so u think i am pretty
You: 6/10.
Stranger: then u are
Stranger: ?
You: A high 8.
Stranger: send me a pivture lemme grade
You: http://ohijamn.com/picture/time.jpg
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Question to discuss:
i guess you could say I’m a scene girl, with the hair and all that shit, and I’m kinda geeky ( I play a lot of video games, minecraft, skyrim, and assassins creed are my favorites) will guys like me?
You: I do already.
Stranger: m or f
You: I would guess you are male.
Stranger: wat r u
Stranger: and I’m f
You: I am male, then.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: age
You: I’m only 19. Are you really 101?
Stranger: lol
Stranger: I’m lot younger than u
You: How old are you?
Stranger: …..
Stranger: 14
You: Baby.
Stranger: ??
You: Do you still wet the bed and suck your thumb?
Stranger: >:l
You: For the purposes of masturbation, can you say you do?
Stranger: omg
You: Don’t worry. I’ve already cum.
Stranger: o dear go
Stranger: god
You: I believe in God too. We should meet up. When and where?
Stranger: :;
Stranger: :l
You: You’re no fun.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: oh well
Stranger: idk u soooo
You: I guarantee you at least one orgasm.
Stranger: ok wanna kno sumthin
You: Sure thing, girlfriend.
Stranger: haha ok so ur boring me ur makin me do my work fun right
Stranger: btw where ya from
You: England. HAY?
Stranger: huh
You: How about you?
Stranger: usa
Stranger: :p
You: Unlucky.
Stranger: nope
Stranger: ur the unlucky 1
You: Nope. I’m English and male. You’re an American girl. Could God have dealt you a worse hand?
Stranger: by by
You: Bye, sweetie. Love you.
Stranger: must u say tht
Stranger: lol
You: Yes. It’s true.
Stranger: whatever u say
Stranger: btw do u hav kik
You: No. Do you?
Stranger: yup
Stranger: no i jus asked randomly/………… seriously use ur brain
Stranger: if u hav 1
You: What’s a brain?
Stranger: lmfao
Stranger: i must admit ur a pretty funny guy
You: If your “ass” has come off laughing, may I have it?
Stranger: o dear god
You: Do you like anal?
Stranger: do u like the disconnect button??
You: I’ve never had to press it.
Stranger: would u like me to do it for u
You: No. I haven’t got a signed topless photo of you yet.
Stranger: and u won’t b getting 1
You: Tease.
Stranger: …………………………….’
Stranger: i am bored and tired
You: Want to come to bed with me?
Stranger: nope im good
Stranger: i will be wit my bf (:
You: Fuck you.
Stranger: haha
Stranger: thnx
You: Threesome?
Stranger: lol
Stranger: dont u hav a gf
Stranger: i mean cmon ur 19
Stranger: or r u forever alone
You: No. I was grooming this girl but I don’t think she likes me.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: ur forever alone
You: No. I used to have a girlfriend but then ended up missing but it’s OK because she was cheating on me.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: ok then
You: You didn’t say no to that threesome…
Stranger: …………
Stranger: ok this is random but idk way is on my tv i put a show on it ended now sum thin is on idk wat
Stranger: and i should be writing my essay right now but oh well
You: What’s your essay about?
Stranger: its religion
Stranger: i go to private school
Stranger: blah
You: Do you have to wear a nice little uniform?
Stranger: haha wow
You: Is that a yes? I’m masturbating again, by tw.
Stranger: tw meanssss
Stranger: ……………………
You: It’s short for “the way”.
Stranger: ah
You: What’s that short for?
Stranger: nuthin
Stranger: jus ahhh like i understand lol i dunno
You: What’s ET short for?
Stranger: idk
You: Because he’s only got little legs.
Stranger: lol
You: You look a bit like ET.
Stranger: u dont kno wat i even look like
Stranger: -____-
Stranger: gtg
You: Like ET.
Stranger: c ya
You: OK I love you bye bye.
Stranger: haha
Stranger: love u too
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
Do you have msn? Leave your e-mail down below, so we can chat :D
You: Gay.
Stranger: you can chat right here
Stranger: @_@
You: Do you like kids?
Stranger: not much
You: That’s a shame. We could have made some together.
Stranger: that doesn’t seem likely
Stranger: I’m a guy and I like guys. that doesn’t lead to kids all that often
You: We could make a bum baby.
Stranger: o_O
You: When I shoot my load up your bottom, your poo and my jizz will mix and make a mixed race bum baby.
Stranger: that sounds kinda gross
You: But that’s what your lot like.
Stranger: I don’t have a lot
Stranger: and I don’t care for poop
You: Then why do you put your willy into another man’s bottom? You know that’s where poo comes from, don’t you?
Stranger: … I don’t do that
You: You’re a straightlord.
You: Go and have sex with a lady, straighto.
Stranger: ew
You: You love women and touching them on the breast.
Stranger: I love guys and touching them on the dic
Stranger: k
You: Nope. You love girls. You want to kiss them.
Stranger: I want to hug guys
You: You want to have a woman’s nipple on you.
Stranger: I … guess it would be interesting
You: I knew you were a hetero all along.
Stranger: I wish I knew it
Stranger: cor
Stranger: life will be so different
You: I bet you will go and have sex with a lady now.
Stranger: just point me to urmom
You: That’s not funny. Shut up.
Stranger: oh, ok
Stranger: sorry
You: Good, straighty.
Stranger: kbye
You: Bye, sexy.
Stranger: mwah
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello.
Stranger: Hi :)
You: Who are you?
Stranger: Devin hbu :)
You: Lydon.
Stranger: Nice to meet you
You: From where are you?
Stranger: Canada wbu?
You: England.
Stranger: Nice :) you straight?
You: Yes. You?
Stranger: No, bi
You: Where are you going?
Stranger: Sorry? No where?
You: You just said bye.
Stranger: No.. Bisexual
Stranger: Hahahaha
You: What does that mean? Were you born the opposite sex?
Stranger: No…
Stranger: It means I like girls and boys
You: Isn’t that a paedophile?
Stranger: No.. A pedophile is someone who like little girls and boys
You: Midgets?
Stranger: Go hang yourself
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You and the stranger both like tits.
Stranger: m
You: Hello.
Stranger: hi
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: all my clothes atm hbu
You: Some jeans and a shirt with pink on it.
Stranger: cool hmm bra size/
You: I don’t like wearing a bra.
Stranger: kik?
You: That must be a pretty big bra size.
Stranger: exchange pics?
You: You seem a bit creepy.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I’m not female.
Stranger: me too
You: Can you pretend to be female?
Stranger: hm. that’s interesting. lol maybe I can
Stranger: how old are you first?
You: 19 years young. You?
Stranger: 21…
Stranger: so, why exactly do you want me to be a girl?
You: I’m horny. Can you also pretend to be 4?
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: dude… cm on man? 4?
Stranger: if you’d said 14, i’d be marginally ok with that.. :S
You: It’s not sick or anything because you’re 21 so it’s fine. Please.
Stranger: this is going to be interesting…
Stranger: lol
Stranger: ok… so i’m 4
You: And you’ve just woken up tied to a table. You’re not naked yet.
Stranger: O_O
Stranger: what the… who are you and i begin crying… as i can’t move
You: I’m your new Daddy.
Stranger: but but… i want my old daddy
You: He is on holiday. SD: I get out a knife.
Stranger: i scream!
You: Don’t worry, this will be over before you know it. SD: I slit the little beauty’s throat.
Stranger: =.=” this is worse than i imagined
You: Death isn’t so bad, sweetie. SD: You can no longer speak because of all the blood in your throat. You are slowly dying.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: I’m not female.
Stranger: im not male
Stranger: *I’m
You: That means you must be female. Am I right?
Stranger: yeah that means you must be male?
Stranger: am i right?
You: Well done. You’re quite clever for a girl.
Stranger: :) haha do you got twitter?
You: I haven’t got anything to say, so no.
Stranger: Oh what you name?
You: Lydon. Yours?
Stranger: Jenn
Stranger: cool name bro
You: I’d say thanks, but I didn’t come up with it.
Stranger: :) Haha your funny!
You: I do my best. From where are you, Jenn?
Stranger: hold on i can’t read while i am singer
You: I’m guessing somewhere where English is not your first language?
Stranger: no i speek english?
Stranger: how old are you?
You: 19. How old are you?
Stranger: 18
You: So from what country are you?
Stranger: London England
You: I used to live there. Whereabouts?
Stranger: Doncaster
You: Are you originally from England?
Stranger: yeah
You: OK. What do you like doing, Jenn?
Stranger: Singing i am going to be famoud one day!
Stranger: *famous
You: Good luck with that. Do you have any videos of you singing on YouTube or something?
Stranger: no but i will soon later sometime but im not aloud to shouw my face so i will have to like draw a picture and hold it infromt of the camra! :) but i have to go but i will never be able to talk to you again do you have email?
You: lapearsall@googlemail.com. Why can’t you show your face?
Stranger: my mom doesnt want me to and i think it is safeer
You: You’re a big girl now, though.
Stranger: I know but i think i is safer! well i gtg i will email you later and isent it “Gmail” not google mail?
You: Either is fine. Bye, sexy.
Stranger: bye i guess
You: You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.
Stranger: can you not call me sexy i have a boyfriend!
You: I’ll call you what I want.
Stranger: My boyfriend is with me and i am not going to email you anymore by!!!
You: That’s fine. Bye, sexy.
Stranger: my boyfriend wants to talk to you
You: Hey, mate.
Stranger: Get away from my girlfriend i love her she is the best thing ever and if she askes you to stop calling her sexy stop she is way better than you can ever amagen!
You: Really? I can amagen some pretty imazing and coherent women. Sorry, sexy. I won’t call her that, then.
Stranger: You want a peace of this!!!!1
You: Calm down, babe. I’m not looking for trouble.
Stranger: I gtg go hopefully i will never ever talk to you sgain and i am defently not email you and either is my girlfriend!!
Stranger: *again
You: OK. Bye. Tell her I think she’s sexy.
Stranger: Fuck you go away you ugly beast!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: 19. Male. England.
Stranger: 18 girl california
You: You are so young.
Stranger: Ur 19
You: I know. I am old compared to you, little girl.
Stranger: Haha ur old motherfucker
You: I know. How many men you had in your ass at once?
Stranger: Fuck u
You: I was only asking, babe.
Stranger: Dont call me that u asshole
You: Sorry, sweetie. Why not?
Stranger: Pervert
You: Why are you being so mean to me?
Stranger: Haha I’m going to post this on instagram
You: Why? So everyone can see how mean you are?
Stranger: Bitch
You: You’re just messing with me now. You fancy me.
Stranger: What the fuck is wrong with u I don’t know ur crazy ass
You: But you still fancy me. I can tell.
Stranger: What the hell is wrong with u
Stranger: I don’t like u
You: Nothing. I’m fine, thanks for asking. How are you? Why do you not like me?
Stranger: I ain’t telling u shit pervert
You: I’m not a shit pervert. Maybe piss, but not shit.
Stranger: U lucky I don’t know u I would the police on yo ass
Stranger: U retarted I said I ain’t telling you shit
You: Is all this making your horny?
Stranger: Then I called u a pervert
Stranger: Im going to take a pic of this and I’m going to show my dad
You: Threesome?
Stranger: Cause he is a police officer
Stranger: I hope u die in a hole and go to hell
Stranger: Done showed my dad and he called the police
Stranger: Haha asshole
You: Why did he call the police if he is the police?
Stranger: Because he is on vacation u idiot
Stranger: Goodbye bitch
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello. I’m male.
Stranger: I didn’t even ask, retard
You: I know. Are you retarded?
Stranger: Nah but I sometimes wish I were
Stranger: Its troubling
You: You are very brave.
Stranger: Thank you
You: I don’t know how I would cope if I was like you,
Stranger: As are you for announcing your gender like tgat
Stranger: I get along just fine
You: Do you ever try to microwave spoons or stuff like that?
Stranger: What. No I’m not stupid. Once I put in a pizza with a bit of foil on it though
Stranger: It fucked up my pizza pretty bad
You: I wouldn’t mind fucking up your pizza.
Stranger: I’m sure
You: From where are you?
Stranger: Hahaha
Stranger: Im from the u.s.
Stranger: Yourself?
You: England. What’s so funny?
Stranger: Just the phrasing
You: I wish I could be entertained as easily as you.
Stranger: Im at work, a string could entertain me
You: Why aren’t you doing work?
Stranger: I’m a fast worker. I take frequent breaks
You: Are you a miner?
Stranger: I don’t want to finish it all and be stuck doing this the whole rest of the day
Stranger: Nope, I’m old
You: No. I mean the kind of bird.
Stranger: Haha
Stranger: No actually
You: What’s your job?
Stranger: I work in an office as an intern
You: Why don’t you get a proper job?
Stranger: Because the job market in California is screwed up
Stranger: So I’m stuck until I can get something better
Stranger: How old are you?
You: I am 19 years young. How old are you?
Stranger: I’m 23 years old
You: I didn’t even know people went that old.
Stranger: Went where?
You: I just didn’t realise age went up that high.
Stranger: Ah, well
Stranger: Are you sure you aren’t touched in the head?
Stranger: Whatd you think would happen to you in four years?
You: I’ll be 19 obviously. I’m 19. Age doesn’t change just because time does.
Stranger: Oh
Stranger: Well in that case I’m probably around 17
Stranger: Still trolling the Internet and whatnot
You: Got a husband yet?
Stranger: Nope. Do you?
You: Not yet.
Stranger: Want to get married? It seems we both need husbands
Stranger: If the shoe fits
You: I think your shoe might be a bit loose compared to my foot.
Stranger: Hrrrm maybe
Stranger: But you don’t really know until you’ve tried it on
You: Don’t be a creep. I don’t want to have sex with you.
Stranger: Hey hey hey
Stranger: No o e said anything about sex
Stranger: No one*
Stranger: It was a metaphore
You: A metaphor for sex. Don’t play dumb with me, you slut.
Stranger: Ugh
Stranger: Thats the second time I’ve been called a slut today
Stranger: The first was because I refused to accept a doctor who joke
You: Knock knock.
Stranger: Fuck
Stranger: Was it you?
You: I’m knocking again.
Stranger: Whos there
You: Doctor.
Stranger: Ugh, doctore who?
You: Yep. You’re right. Can I come in and check your testicles for lumps?
Stranger: Was it worth it?
Stranger: Typing all that out
You: Yes. It was especially difficult because I was doing it just left-handed.
Stranger: Why was that necessary?
You: The though of feeling your hanging gardens got me going.
Stranger: Hahaha
Stranger: Im sorry my gardens don’t hang very low
Stranger: Give them a good 25 years and I’m sure they’ll be good enough
You: Are they tight against your trunk?
Stranger: Well not really
Stranger: But
Stranger: Ive got great fertilizer
Stranger: Very rich
Stranger: Theres a silver lining
You: You’re being creepy again. Stop it.
Stranger: Ok sorry I’ll try
Stranger: But you’re walking right into it
You: Do you cum a lot then?
Stranger: Woah woah now who’s being creepy
You: Still you, because you’re a paedophile.
Stranger: That’s impossible
Stranger: Because I’m 12
You: That would explain your tight nut sack. Ever seen a grown man naked, little boy?
Stranger: Yeah. I’d rather not talk about it thank you very much
You: I don’t want to talk about it either; I think it’s weird for a 23-year-old to get sexually aroused by pretending to be a 12-year-old.
Stranger: Is it? Damn, then I’d better quit while I’m ahead
Stranger: But it’s also creepy to be 19 forever
Stranger: Not creepy, shitty. That’s gotta suck
You: It’s even creepier when you consider I’m naked.
Stranger: Im used to that
You: I don’t want to know.
Stranger: Youd be surprised to know how many 19 year olds like preteens
You: There’s just something about a 4-year-old’s body that I can’t help masturbate over.
Stranger: Is it the taut skin?
You: It think it’s mainly the pussy.
Stranger: Oh I’m sorry I thought we were talking about boys
Stranger: Im not gay, just trying to telate
You: No, you sicko.
Stranger: Relate
You: I’m not gay either. That’s just weird.
Stranger: Yeah
Stranger: Perhaps we should change the subject before it gets weirder
Stranger: Unless you want it to
You: No, you nonce.
Stranger: No you do want it weird?
You: No.
Stranger: We can do that yeah
Stranger: You ever eat yogurt and lit it dribble down your chin?
Stranger: Then have a guy slap his cock against it?
Stranger: Splat
You: I’ve done that with jelly.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
r u horny???
You: No.
Stranger: No
Stranger: Spy ur a perv
You: What will it take to get you in the mood?
Stranger: What mood
You: The mood for looooove.
Stranger: U can go suck ur own dick
You: Calm down, love. I didn’t know you were a lesbian.
Stranger: U fucking suck
Stranger: I am a straight 12 year old man
Stranger: Deal with it
You: You are a little gay boy. Ever sucked a cock?
Stranger: No
You: Fancy giving it a try?
Stranger: No
You: Don’t be frigid.
Stranger: Fuck yourself
Stranger: Douche
You: I’d rather fuck you, cutie-pie.
Stranger: Ok then u perv
Stranger: Go join spy
You: Are you suggesting a threesome?
Stranger: If u and spy are girls yes
You: Ever had sex before, little guy?
Stranger: No
You: Virgin. I’ve had loads of sex.
Stranger: Cool story bro needs more dragons
You: Come back when you’ve got some pubes, kid.
Stranger: Im back bitch
Stranger: Are u just mad cause ur in ur period
You: I’m not mad. You’re the one acting like a child.
Stranger: I am a child bitch
You: Can you be my child bitch?
Stranger: Ill kill u
Stranger: And u will burn in the fires of hell
You: Maybe if we play Call of Duty you’ll kill me, but in the real world, you’d just cry like a little baby.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Are you a virgin?
Stranger: yup
You: Hahaha. Virgin.
Stranger: lol
You: Got a boyfriend?
Stranger: Not gay
You: Then why have you never had sex with a lady?
Stranger: Iunno
You: You need to leave the house.
Stranger: Probably, yeah, but I won’t
You: Do you want me to have sex with you?
Stranger: If you’re a lady, sure
You: Don’t be so picky.
Stranger: ._.
Stranger: but I have to be
You: Why?
Stranger: Because if I’m not picky I’ll take every shit I can get, which isn’t good in any way
You: Only a virgin would say that.
Stranger: Sure
You: Have you ever had a wank?
Stranger: No, what’s a wank?
You: Don’t act all innocent with me, you little whore.
Stranger: Aww, you
Stranger: are mean
You: You know you like it.
Stranger: Not really
You: You’d love me to fuck you.
Stranger: Let me put it this way, if I wanted you to fuck me, would I do this?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I then had a knock at my door and then he knocked to me the floor, flipped me over and bummed me, so I think he wants to fuck me.

You: Hello. I’m not a woman who wants to have sex with you.
Stranger: hey
You: Hello.
Stranger: how are you?
You: Not bad. You?
Stranger: good. asl?
You: 19. Male. England.
Stranger: 17 f ireland
You: Do you like jokes?
Stranger: sure why not
You: That’s a shame because I don’t know any.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Who are you?
Stranger: I am an artist. Who are you?
You: I am a better artist.
Stranger: Really? Where may I see your art?
You: I designed the Omegle rectum.
Stranger: What exactly is a rectum?
Stranger: In your phrasing
You: The logo for Omegle that looks like an anus.
Stranger: Ah! I always thought it was a stylized Greek symbol.
You: No. It’s an anus because only gays use this site.
Stranger: Ehh, I could beg to differ; but I’m homoromantic…
Stranger: …so yeah
You: Don’t say that. That’s weird.
Stranger: How is that weird?
You: I don’t want to think about you spitting on your hand then lubing up your cock and plunging in and out of your partner’s anus and then cumming all over his cock and then you two kissing.
Stranger: Bro, I’m a girl, and ASEXUAL. I don’t want to have sex with anybody, my girlfriends are more like female cuddle-buddies.
You: Asexual? Does that mean you were born a man?
Stranger: No –
Stranger: In the realm of sexual interest, it just means that I don’t become sexually attracted to people.
You: So does that mean you don’t have a vagina?
Stranger: No, I have a vagina; but I don’t want to share it with anyone else. :)
You: Hahaha. You are a virgin.
Stranger: Indeed, though I don’t see virginity or lack thereof as something that should be used to judge people.
Stranger: Some people like it, others don’t.
You: Only a virgin would say that.
Stranger: Actually…no.
Stranger: I have a friend who is married with children who thinks the same thing.
You: Have you ever kissed her?
Stranger: This friend? No. She lives out of state and, like I said, she is MARRIED.
Stranger: I don’t look to wreck homes, and her husband is pretty cool.
You: Sorry. I assumed she wasn’t always married.
Stranger: I met her after that, actually. We’ve only been friends for a few years. :)
You: Have you ever kissed her kids?
Stranger: Her son is one, and I have kissed him on the head. Nothing romantic, though, he’s just a cutie.
You: Paedophile.
Stranger: No, I’m really not. All of my “crushes” are of pretty much my same age.
Stranger: …and it’s Pediaphile.
You: I’m fairly sure it’s actually pendaphile.
Stranger: No, look at the prefix –
Stranger: PEDIAtrician – CHILD’S doctor
Stranger: PEDIAsure – CHILDREN’S Ensure
Stranger: PEDIAphile – loves to have sexual relations with CHILDREN
You: Don’t pretend you don’t know how it’s spelled, you nonce.
Stranger: Now you can teach me some words: “nonce”?
You: A child molester.
Stranger: That’s nice, thank you for enlarging my vocabulary. :)
Stranger: I really don’t like sex, and would not have it with children.
You: I could make you like sex.
Stranger: Really, you could change my entire psychology on the flip of a dime?
You: It wouldn’t be a dime I’d flip.
Stranger: How very kinky of you.
You: That’s nothing.
Stranger: What’s nothing?
You: That isn’t kinky.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
there are 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 particles in the universe, that we can observe.
You: I’ve seen most of them.
Stranger: Ya mama took the ugly ones and put it in to you!
Stranger: Epic rap battle of history, no offence intended
You: Are you alright?
Stranger: Yes :)
You: Good. Are your genitals functional?
Stranger: I’m why..?
Stranger: Uhm*
You: For research. I’m not masturbating or anything.
Stranger: Uh okay… I’m a girl…?
You: Excellent. I just came. From where are you?
Stranger: Denmark…? O.O
You: Guten tag.
Stranger: No German…
You: That’s where you’re from.
Stranger: PExcept for these two sentences:
Stranger: Ich bein ein auto
Stranger: Du bist ein affe
You: How can you live in Germany and not know the language?
Stranger: I don’t live in Germany. I live in Denmark…
You: That’s in Germany.
Stranger: No… I live in Zealand…
Stranger: Thats not a part of Germany…
You: Well that’s in Australia. Make your mind up.
Stranger: No, NEW Zealand is in Australia…
Stranger: Zealand is in the ocean between Denmark and Sweden…
You: So you live in the sea like a mermaid?
Stranger: …
Stranger: No. Zealand is bigger than Mallorca…
Stranger: PAnd people on Mallorca don’t live in the sea…
You: The mermaids there do.
Stranger: Yes, but I’m not a mermaid…
Stranger: PWell where are you from then?
You: Atlantis.
Stranger: Sounds interesting… How is there wifi?
You: The fish excrete the signals if they are fed redstone.
Stranger: Erhm okay…
Stranger: Ill just go now… o.o
You: OK. Sorry, babe.
Stranger: *backs away slowly*
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello.
Stranger: CLOVE?!:D
You: Grow up.
Stranger: ;A;
Stranger: I am quite grown, actually.
You: Not mentally.
Stranger: ….
You: See. You can’t even speak.
Stranger: -_-
You: Are you Chinese?
Stranger: No.
You: Your photo three lines up looks Chinese.
Stranger: I understand that.
You: Well done. You understand sentences. It doesn’t prove you’re a big boy.
Stranger: Well then.
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 16.
You: Baby.
Stranger: D:
You: Shut that mouth or I’ll shove my cock in it.
Stranger: That’s innappropriate…
You: Baby’s are people too. A mouth’s a mouth.
Stranger: This is awkward.
You: Like the angle you have to hold a baby at to get it to deepthroat you.
Stranger: Oh?
You: Ever got head from a baby?
Stranger: No…
You: Would you?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
Where ya from, gurll?
Stranger: fuck you faggot
You: What have I done?
Stranger: not you, the spy
Stranger: you’re fine with me stranger
You: There’s nobody else here, though.
Stranger: you don’t see the quesiton above us?
You: If someone else was here, they would say something.
Stranger: hahah they can’t though. that’s why they’re the spy. are you new here stranger?
You: Nobody’s spying on us. I bet you believe the moon landing was fake as well.
Stranger: hahahah you are in the SPY MODE of omegle. which means somebody asks a quesiton and they spy on our conversation
You: What the fuck is Omegle?
Stranger: this website you’re on right now
You: The last thing I remember was a big wave of water coming when I was chasing a mammoth and then I woke up in here.
Stranger: hahah nice. you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello.
Stranger: m or f
Stranger: ?
Stranger: hi
You: Guess.
Stranger: f
Stranger: if I have chance
Stranger: :p
You: Are you male or female?
Stranger: male
Stranger: u
You: Guess.
Stranger: f
Stranger: or gay:d?
You: If only you knew.
Stranger: bye if u don t tell me
Stranger: do m asl?
You: You are so childish.
Stranger: nooo
Stranger: i
Stranger: u are
You: Is that an ironic argument?
Stranger: so u have skype to talk mote
You: I don’t talk to kids. I’m not a paedo.
Stranger: male
Stranger: or f
Stranger: or child
You: You said you were male.
Stranger: and u
Stranger: ?
You: No thanks. I just ate.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
Favourite band/artist?
You: Inpropaic.
Stranger: Led Zeppelin
You: What a bent choice.
Stranger: how?
You: Well, other than the fact that they are all gay apart for John Bonham who was killed because he was straight, their music is gay too.
Stranger: I think it’s incredible, because it uses actual musical theory in it’s composition
You: Music Queery more like.
Stranger: imagery, subtle lyrical metaphors, and great instrument playing as well
You: If you want to be a bender, why not suck a cock?
Stranger: because listening to Led Zeppelin is easier on the throat
You: How would you know?
Stranger: just an assumption, because I don’t use my throat at all when listening to LZ, and I’ve seen quite a bit of porn where the throat is abused by dicks
You: Gay porn, was it?
Stranger: nope
Stranger: mostly Latinas
Stranger: some whites too
You: LaPenis more like.
Stranger: you’re the saddest troll I’ve ever encountered
You: But I bet you still want to bum me.
Stranger: no, but i DO want to hate-fuck your mom for spawning you
Stranger: lol jk
Stranger: good effort buddy
You: Well I’ve got a Dad for a Mum so that makes you a bender.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Question to discuss:
My scars remind me that is past is real………..
Stranger: Good
You: That’s nice.
Stranger: Why would you even write something like that?
You: I think he is gay.
Stranger: Or just a pretentious guy
Stranger: You know, the ones who type stuff like that on facebook
You: They’re gay as far as I’m concerned.
Stranger: Why do you hate gays?
You: I don’t hate gay. Why do you?
Stranger: I don’t! But you were saying something on the line of gay=stupid
Stranger: At least, that’s what i got
You: I use gay as an insult like calling someone a girl.
Stranger: Yeah, fair enough
Stranger: Didn’t they make a south park episode about something like that? I mean, calling people fags not because you’re homophobic but just as an insult
You: I don’t know. I’m not an encyclopedia.
Stranger: Maybe you knew the episode
You: I don’t know anything.
Stranger: Nobody know anything
Stranger: *knows
You: That’s deep.
Stranger: Nah, not really
You: Got a boyfriend?
Stranger: I’m a guy
Stranger: So no, not really
You: Why not? Are you straight or something?
Stranger: Yes i am
You: Hahaha. Straight-o. Why don’t you have sex with a woman, straightboy?
Stranger: Oww
Stranger: You hurt my feelings
You: Feelings? Straights don’t have feelings.
Stranger: You mean, like gingers?
You: What have you got against gingers? You’re mean.
Stranger: I’ve got nothing against gingers, i just use it as an insult.
Stranger: Actually that isn’t even true, but whatever
You: You shouldn’t because it’s offensive.
Stranger: You don’t say.
Stranger: I actually like red hair a lot
Stranger: I never got why red-haired people get so much hate
You: Because they are disgusting.
Stranger: You sound… bipolar?
You: No. I’m straight.
Stranger: Lol, you are so straight you don’t even know what bipolar means
You: It means I like male and female polar bears. I only like fucking the females, though.
Stranger: Yeah, fucking the males probably hurts
Stranger: a lot
You: And you would know, you big gay zoophile.
Stranger: Hey, don’t insult zoophiles, ok?
Stranger: They’re people like us
You: Don’t compare me to people.
Stranger: Also, you’re the one who has sex with polar bears
You: Only once.
Stranger: That’s… a good point actually
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: Huh, clothes? It’s kinda cold, so i have a jumper on
Stranger: What are YOU wearing?
You: Pants and a dressing gown. From where are you?
Stranger: I guess you could guess.
Stranger: Not in the USA
You: Engaynd?
Stranger: I see what you did there
Stranger: But no
You: Gaynada?
Stranger: Nope.
You: Gaymany?
Stranger: Nein.
Stranger: But you’re closer
You: Yugayslavia?
Stranger: Nope, go west
You: Bellendgium?
Stranger: That’s too west and too north
Stranger: I’ll give you a hint
Stranger: In-a my spare time, I like to go rescuing-a princess! And i jump on-a strange monsters.
Stranger: And i have a bigga moustache
You: Are you sure it’s not Gaymany?
Stranger: I am
Stranger: Sure as pizza i am
You: Pizza – That’s Titaly.
Stranger: Yep.
Stranger: Titaly is actually a cool name. We should change it
Stranger: Where are you from, anyways?
You: England.
Stranger: Cool. Which part?
You: All of me.
Stranger: Don’t give me attitude, you pom
You: Youporn? What abou tit?
Stranger: I can’t make puns in english, that’s not fair.
Stranger: We should speak italian
You: Only muffs speak Titalian.
Stranger: I don’t even know what muff means. I mean, it’s not like we’re on the internet and i could look it up in like, three seconds
You: If you want to know what a muff is, look in a mirror.
Stranger: 1 a short tube made of fur or other warm material into which the hands are placed for warmth.
2 vulgar slang a woman’s genitals
Stranger: Last time i checked, i wasn’t neither a short tube or a vagina
You: You’re a vagina with a short tube.
Stranger: Or a short tube in a vagina
Stranger: which wouldn’t actually be that bad
You: You wish, virgin.
Stranger: I’ll be honest. There are worse fates than being stuck down there.
You: Homophobe.
Stranger: That doesn’t even make sense.
Stranger: Go back to drink tea.
You: I bet that would turn you on, wouldn’t it?
Stranger: Yes, i’m a teaphile
Stranger: If you were so kind to drink some tea with extra lemon, that would be an extra turn on
You: You are sick.
Stranger: You know what’s a good thing for when you’re sick? Tea.
You: Then you should have some tea, you paedophile.
Stranger: I already had.
Stranger: And what is a paedophile?
You: Someone who has sex with little kids, i.e. you.
Stranger: That would be a pedophile
You: If you spell it incorrectly, yes.
Stranger: If you wanted to really spell it correctly, then it should be Paidophilos
You: If I wanted to spell it correctly in a different language, that is.
Stranger: In a different language which is the one from where the english word came from
Stranger: Anyways, wikipedia (which, as we all know, is the most reliable source of information in the world) tells me you can spell it either way
You: Only paedophiles spell it without the “a”.
Stranger: I know, it would make more sense to spell it with the “a”
Stranger: But i’ve always seen americans spell it without the “a”, so i guess all the americans are paedophiles
You: That’s true.
Stranger: Whatever. You’re the english one.I guess what i learned here is that you shouldn’t argue about a foreign language with someone who actually speaks said language
You: You personally shouldn’t argue at all because you are always wrong.
Stranger: “Wrong” is relative.
Stranger: Therefore, you are wrong
You: You are Italian therefore you are wrong.
Stranger: You’re english, therefore your smugness makes you automatically wrong.
Stranger: And stop being so racist, or i will throw pizzas at you.
You: I’m only smug around people I’m better than, and that includes everyone from a different country.
Stranger: That’s pretty much the english stereotype. Do you also wear a monocle, by chance?
You: I wear a double monocle.
Stranger: Dear lord, you alone raise the level of britishness in the world by at least 23%
You: And the world is a better place for it.
Stranger: We could argue about that, but i don’t want to be thrown in the Tower of London
Stranger: That would be unfortunate
You: You wouldn’t go in there. We don’t like riff-raff in our towers.
Stranger: What are you going to do? Send me to India to harvest tea?
You: I’d just execute you if I had my way.
Stranger: Yeah, fair enough.
Stranger: We should fight sometimes
Stranger: And by “fight”, i mean duel
You: Aren’t you too old to be playing Yu-Gi-Oh?
Stranger: I don’t even know what Yu-Gi-Oh is, so i’ll just assume it’s some perverted english practice
You: It’s another word for sex. If a kid says they want to play Yu-Gi-Oh with you, they want to have sex with you so do it.
Stranger: I’m sorry, but nobody would be so retarded to use that euphemism outside of england.
Stranger: Dinner calls anyways. It’s a shame, this conversation was racistly interesting.
You: OK. Bye. Good luck with your legs.
Stranger: I actually didn’t get this one. I’m sure it’s some kind of paedophile or italian-related joke, so fuck you.
You: I was just hoping your legs are well in the future. No need to be rude about it.
Technical error: server disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
what do you think about the french army ?
Stranger: Um…
You: I like baguettes so thanks to them.
Stranger: I guess I’m pretty cool with them.
You: What is your favourite army?
Stranger: SAS, British all the way.
You: You’re British? That means you like tea and are a bender.
Stranger: Actually neither of those are true
You: Maybe not the tea one but you’re definitely bent.
Stranger: Also, I’m technically Northern Irish.
Stranger: And since when we’re the British all bent?
You: Since you started bumming each other.
Stranger: Are you American?
You: No.
Stranger: What then?
You: British.
Stranger: Why would you slag off your own people?
You: I was just hoping to find someone with similar interests to me.
Stranger: Then go onto normal chat and label Britain, UK, or GB as an interest.
Stranger: Or all three.
You: My interests are actually tea and being gay.
Stranger: Oh.
Stranger: Thats… Interesting
Stranger: You are gay?
You: No. I’m just seeing if it’s right for me. Have you ever been gay?
Stranger: No. To be honest Im kind of asexual right now.
You: Asexual predator?
Stranger: Um… No. Just asexual. I have no interest in a relationship at all whatsoever right now.
You: That’s not being asexual. If you found the right man, woman or beast, I’m sure you would date them.
Stranger: One moment
You: Time’s up.
Stranger: Ok
Stranger: I was just done anyways.
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: …Shorts and a t shirt. Why?
You: No reason. I’m not masturbating.
Stranger: Um… You’re kind of getting just a little off topic.
Stranger: How did we get from the French army to what I’m wearing?
You: You should know. You were there when the topic changed.
Stranger: Let me just get a quick flow chart going
Stranger: French Army.
Stranger: SAS.
Stranger: Britain.
Stranger: Tea.
Stranger: Being gay.
Stranger: My sexuality.
Stranger: My current clothing.
Stranger: Based on that, you’ll soon be asking what I look like and my address.
You: No I won’t. What do you look like and your address?
Stranger: My point exactly.
Stranger: I have brown hair, brown eyes and a brown frown. I live on 1234 Street Street.
Stranger: If you have any form of Intelligence Quotient above 60, you’ll realise this personal information is false.
You: Oh. I thought we had bonded.
Stranger: Good to know.
You: Do you like bondage?
Stranger: It depends on your exact meaning by ‘bondage’.
You: Being tied up while having a dick in your cunt.
Stranger: I’ll have you know that I am not a girl.
Stranger: Therefore, your statement is physically impossible.
You: But I’ve been masturbating for about five minutes now. That must mean I’m gay.
Stranger: Rule #1 of using Omegle: Always question the other person’s gender before bringing up any topic related to sex.
You: Can you pretend you’re female so this isn’t weird?
Stranger: I don’t want to suffer from an accidental identity crisis.
You: Is it alright if I pretend I’m a woman, then?
Stranger: To be honest, Id rather just stop talking about sex, if that’s alright with you.
You: But I haven’t had an orgasm yet. My pussy is dripping wet waiting for you, big boy.
Stranger: Okay, now you aren’t making any sense at all.
You: I’ve got a good job so I make pounds, not cents.
Stranger: European cents or American cents?
You: Neither.
Stranger: Wait… Oh, I get it.
Stranger: It doesn’t make SENSE at all now, because we use pennies.
You: Who’s Penny? And what of hers are you using?
Stranger: Penny from The Big Bang Theory. Who else?
Stranger: Ive been feeling rather uncomfortable for the last ten minutes, so I will be going in 30 seconds.
Stranger: It was… Interesting talking to you.
Stranger: 10
You: OK I love you bye bye.
Stranger: 9
Stranger: 8
Stranger: 7
Stranger: 6
Stranger: 5
Stranger: 4
Stranger: 3
Stranger: 2
Stranger: 1
You: Blastoff.
Stranger: 0
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
who are you?
You: I am the Lord of the Dance Settee.
Stranger: I am myself.
Stranger: at least I think I am
Stranger: I could be someone else though
Stranger: how am I to know?
You: Are you on drugs?
Stranger: how am I to know anything in life?
Stranger: perhaps there is a deeper moral undertone to his question that speaks to the ambiguistic nature of our being
You: There isn’t.
Stranger: or maybe its just this weed mannnnnn >.>
Stranger: no
Stranger: I don’t do drugs
Stranger: and I was bullshitting because I’m bored and tired
Stranger: and hallucinating now… :/
Stranger: I should sleep more
You: I have a bed we can share.
Stranger: that’s why I don’t do drugs ^.^ afraid they’ll trigger schizophrenia.
Stranger: terribly afraid..
You: Drugs aren’t cool anyway.
Stranger: I already have a boyfriend thank you.
You: Threesome?
Stranger: if you’re into guys >.>
You: Any hole’s a hole.
Stranger: not bad logic
You: So are you a gay man?
Stranger: yes
You: Haha. You are gay.
Stranger: yeahhh
Stranger: and you’re not very funny
You: No, but you are. Being gay is funny.
Stranger: how?
You: Because you are gay.
Stranger: you have to give a better reason than that honey…
You: Have you ever been called a gaylord?
Stranger: you’re an immature one aren’t you?
Stranger: how old are you?
You: 19. I just wondered if you would think gaylord is offensive or just childish.
Stranger: childish and idiotic
Stranger: think up some better insults
You: Do you mind that people use gay as an insult?
Stranger: eh
Stranger: not bothered by it
Stranger: put up with it for so long I don’t notice it
You: Do you actually do that thing where you touch your dick onto your boyfriend’s dick?
Stranger: you…
Stranger: you’re…
Stranger: you’re not well educated are you?
Stranger: I bet you’re still a virgin XP
You: I’ve never been buggered, if that’s what you mean. Do you engage in frottage or not?
Stranger: sure why not
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 18
You: From where are you?
Stranger: merikuh
You: Do you mean Morocco?
Stranger: …
Stranger: the US
Stranger: murricuh?
You: So are you from America or Morocco?
Stranger: merikuh and murricuh are both corruptions of the word America you twat..
You: I’m not a twat, but what does it mean?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Question to discuss:
Thoughts on Nova Scotia?
You: None whatsoever.
Stranger: Whats that?
You: What’s what?
Stranger: Nova Scotia
You: It’s a country in Canada. It means “New Scooter”.
Stranger: Oh
Stranger: Canada is a country dumbass
You: You don’t even know where New Scooter is so I’m not going to listen to you.
Stranger: Ok well ok im just sayin
Your conversational partner has disconnected.