Omegle

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
Chimicherry or Cherrychanga?
Stranger: what?
You: They are Pokémon.
Stranger: ahh, well sorry dont know any more than the first 150 or so
Stranger: or maybe the ones after that, in silver & gold
You: Do you know Bulbasaur?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: squirtle
Stranger: charmander
You: Do you know Ivysaur?
Stranger: yep, and venosaur
You: Do you know Wartortle?
Stranger: and blastois
Stranger: e
Stranger: and charmeleon
Stranger: and charizard
Stranger: do we have to continue?
You: Do you Caterpie?
Stranger: yep
You: Do you know Metapod?
Stranger: and butterfly
Stranger: yes
You: Do you know Butterfree?
Stranger: my bad
You: Do you know Weedle?
Stranger: now I am embarrassed
You: Do you know Kakuna?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: yes
Stranger: yes
Stranger: yes
You: Do you know Beedrill?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: this is fun
You: Do you know Okapi?
Stranger: :)
Stranger: no
You: Noob.
Stranger: sorry
You: Do you know hagfish?
Stranger: you should be proud of your pokemon skills
Stranger: no, but it sounds like a pokemon you would wanna be
You: Do you know Quagga>
Stranger: no, I feel you are more of a magikarp
Stranger: yeah
You: Do you know Oryx?
Stranger: no
You: Do you know Capybara?
Stranger: no
You: Do you know Squarepusher?
Stranger: squarepusher?
Stranger: seriously?
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: thank god, no
You: Do you know the Muffinman?
Stranger: ye
Stranger: s
Stranger: muffinman ftw
Stranger: do you know the muffinman?
You: I know the Muffinman and where he lives.
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: ;)
You: Do you want to see a picture of my cock?
Stranger: totally
You: Gaylord.
Stranger: thanks
Stranger: You dont like gay people?
You: I don’t like gay people trying to bum me.
Stranger: let me guess, you are what?
Stranger: 14?
Stranger: uhhh, I hit the nail, spot on didnt I?
You: Not all homophones are kids.
Stranger: maybe not, but most kids are immature
Stranger: and few adults are immature
Stranger: if you are an adult, I pity you even more
You: You’re immature and you’re a bender.
Stranger: I am so sorry
Stranger: If you believe in God, you should complain
You: I’d rather be me than bent.
Stranger: Bent is a good football player
Stranger: I like him
Stranger: why dont you?
You: You fancy him.
Stranger: I like him as a football player, yes.
You: You want to play with his balls and have him shoot into your net.
Stranger: I am not a homosexual, just to make that clear
You: You are.
Stranger: but judging by your obsession with homosexuals, I would say that you are.
Stranger: good for you
You: Fuck you.
Stranger: you should tell your parents
You: I’m not gay, you gay.
Stranger: Im sure they will support you
Stranger: no, I dont like you in that way
Stranger: you have to look for someone else
Stranger: sorry
You: Do you get off calling other people gay? Does that turn you on?
Stranger: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Stranger: it is soooo funny, coming from you
Stranger: hahahaha
Stranger: man, I like your humour
Stranger: maybe if I was gay, we could be together
Stranger: sadly, I am not
Stranger: :/
You: You are and I’m not. Shut up.
Stranger: If I am quiet, what is the point of staying in this conversation
Stranger: I am sorry if I offended you by commenting on your sexual orientation
Stranger: it was immature of me
You: Yeah. Grow up, poofter.
Stranger: do you forgive me?
You: No.
Stranger: well, I forgive you
Stranger: still wanna be friends?
You: No. You’ll probably try to bum me in my sleep.
Stranger: here we go again
Stranger: Are you in denial or something?
Stranger: cause I think you should try to express your true feelings
Stranger: and it is a perfect moment to do so, to me
You: I have never been in Daniel in my life, you queer.
Stranger: I am listening
You: Sorry. I have dyslexia.
Stranger: let it all out
You: Just leave it. I’m not gay.
Stranger: well, you are the one who keeps coming back to the subject.
You: Only because you are so gay
Stranger: I think there is something you are not telling me
Stranger: right, you want me to be gay so you dont feel alone? is that it?
Stranger: I am trying to help here
You: You only want me to admit I’m gay so you can rape me.
Stranger: over omegle?
Stranger: I dont think that is possible
You: You’ll hunt me down.
Stranger: wow, do you have dreams about me or something?
Stranger: cause this is getting a bit weird
You: It was weird since you started putting your willy in men’s bottoms.
Stranger: I mean, you just cant stop thinking about gay sexual acts, can you? I would say that you are trying to deny your own sexual orientation
Stranger: and I am offering to counsel you
Stranger: for free
Stranger: right now
Stranger: you are welcome
You: Why don’t you stop masturbating? I’m not going to tell you I’m gay for you.
Stranger: okay, I understand. Do you watch gay porn sometimes? or imagine such acts?
Stranger: like you have described several times above?
You: No so shut up.
Stranger: well, we know the truth about it, read above please
Stranger: so “yes” to the first question
Stranger: do you go online to make let out your anger on other people?
You: I’ve only ever seen gay porn once and I got a boner thinking about a lady at the time so it doesn’t count.
Stranger: I think you have to look up the term gay porn! There are only guys there, so the “lady” was probably a dressed up guy. I am sorry
Stranger: and please answer the other question
You: I only imagine such acts when I think about what I would do to the men having sex.
Stranger: okay
Stranger: I understand
You: I mean I would beat them up. I wouldn’t join in.
Stranger: So, you would say, that you hate homosexual people so much, you want to beat them up?
You: Yes. I want to pound you.
Stranger: Do you imagine this scenario a lot?
Stranger: “pound” as in have sex with?
You: No. I want to beat you off.
You: I mean up.
Stranger: As I said before, I am not a homosexual, sorry
Stranger: “beat me off” as in give me a handjob?
You: I said beat you up.
Stranger: all these terms have multiple meanings
Stranger: and I dont think that it is a coincidence
Stranger: I think you have to accept who you really are
Stranger: people will like you anyway
Stranger: :)
You: I’m not gay. I didn’t even like it.
Stranger: Okay, I believe you! You are whatever you want to be
Stranger: Bisexuality, is also a possibility
You: No. I am straight as a bow.
Stranger: I am just putting that out there
You: I mean arrow.
Stranger: hahahaha
Stranger: not a coincidence, I would say
Stranger: but it doesnt matter
You: You’re just making me say this stuff.
Stranger: I am making you say “I want to pound you”?, “I am straight as a bow”?
Stranger: hahahahaha
You: You are tricking me.
Stranger: makes me laugh
Stranger: I am sorry, I didnt mean to
Stranger: I just want you to tell me how you feel
Stranger: I am a stranger, that wants to help you
You: I love women.
Stranger: because I am a nice guy
You: You are a gay guy.
Stranger: here we go again
Stranger: you cant let go of the thought of people and their sexual orientation
Stranger: I think, as previously stated, that is a clear sign
You: I am straight. I have hardly had sex with any men and I didn’t enjoy it.
Stranger: hahahahaha
Stranger: you are really pulling my leg. too funny, though :) :)
You: I’m not pulling anything of yours.
Stranger: you are funny ;)’
You: Stop trying to chat me up, bender.
Stranger: allow me to quote you further “I am straight as a bow”, “I have hardly had sex with any men”, “I want to pound you”, “I want to beat you off”
Stranger: hahahaha
Stranger: thought it was an honest mistake in the beginning
You: Just stop. I’m gay and you are.
You: I’m not gay.
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: :)
Stranger: another “honest” mistake?
You: Your gay is rubbing off on me. Stop being gay.
Stranger: I will, for you
You: Do it for yourself.
Stranger: I will
Stranger: Could you tell me where the muffinman lives?
You: Drury Lane.
You: Do you know Togepi?
Stranger: yes
You: Do you know Togekiss?
Stranger: no, or maybe
You: Do you know Totodile?
Stranger: yes
You: Do you know sunfish?
Stranger: maybe
Stranger: I dunno
You: Do you know alpaca?
Stranger: isnt that an animal?
You: No, gay. It’s a Pokémon.
Stranger: you really are a troll
Stranger: well, then not a very original name
You: I’m only wasting my own time, really.
Stranger: arnt we all?
Stranger: cause thats what omegle is for
You: You should get a life.
Stranger: you should too
You: I’m well beyond that.
Stranger: you are dead?
Stranger: cause that would be pretty cool
You: I may as well be.
Stranger: I get it, you are depressed
Stranger: like most people here
Stranger: how original
You: I’m not depressed or gay.
Stranger: you said you “may as well be” dead
Stranger: I would classify that as “depressed”
Stranger: or something similar
You: I meant to say “I’m a yaswellbee.”
You: Yaswelbee is a Pokémon.
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: well you are funny at least
Stranger: I like it
You: If only I was gay.
Stranger: you want to be gay?
You: If I was, I wouldn’t mind giving you a bum.
Stranger: thank you?
You: I knew you were gay.
Stranger: I didnt say I wass
You: You just got turned on when I said I wanted to bum you.
Stranger: not really, but you probably did
Stranger: you said you “wouldnt mind giving you a bum”
You: If I was gay, which I’m not.
Stranger: gay sexual feelings
Stranger: me neither
Stranger: so, now we have that out of the way
Stranger: wanna play rock, paper scissors?
You: I bet you’d rather play cock, raper, jizzers.
Stranger: I knew it
You: You knew you were gay.
Stranger: this is getting a bit boring, now
You: Yep. Go now please.
Stranger: why dont you?
Stranger: cause you have feelings for me?
You: I don’t want to turn my back on you.
Stranger: right, enough with the sexual references
You: Stop being gay and I’ll stop.
Stranger: say the word
You: Mum.
Stranger: say muffinman
Stranger: say it
You: Why? Does that turn you on?
Stranger: Say it
Stranger: yes, say it
You: No.
Stranger: say it, and Ill leave
You: Muffinman, now fuck off.
Stranger: good bye, I hope omegle cures your boredom
Stranger: all the best
You: Thanks. Bye, gay.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
Best place in the world to live in your opinion?
Stranger: canada
You: I could never live in my opinion.
Stranger: lol
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You and the stranger both like tits.
You: Hello.
Stranger: m
Stranger: hi
You: Nice to meet you.
Stranger: m f ?
You: I’m certainly no motherfucker.
Stranger: female then ?
You: Female then male, in order of preference.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You and the stranger both like tits.
Stranger: m
You: Hello.
Stranger: hi
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: all my clothes atm hbu
You: Some jeans and a shirt with pink on it.
Stranger: cool hmm bra size/
You: I don’t like wearing a bra.
Stranger: kik?
You: That must be a pretty big bra size.
Stranger: exchange pics?
You: You seem a bit creepy.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I’m not female.
Stranger: me too
You: Can you pretend to be female?
Stranger: hm. that’s interesting. lol maybe I can
Stranger: how old are you first?
You: 19 years young. You?
Stranger: 21…
Stranger: so, why exactly do you want me to be a girl?
You: I’m horny. Can you also pretend to be 4?
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: dude… cm on man? 4?
Stranger: if you’d said 14, i’d be marginally ok with that.. :S
You: It’s not sick or anything because you’re 21 so it’s fine. Please.
Stranger: this is going to be interesting…
Stranger: lol
Stranger: ok… so i’m 4
You: And you’ve just woken up tied to a table. You’re not naked yet.
Stranger: O_O
Stranger: what the… who are you and i begin crying… as i can’t move
You: I’m your new Daddy.
Stranger: but but… i want my old daddy
You: He is on holiday. SD: I get out a knife.
Stranger: i scream!
You: Don’t worry, this will be over before you know it. SD: I slit the little beauty’s throat.
Stranger: =.=” this is worse than i imagined
You: Death isn’t so bad, sweetie. SD: You can no longer speak because of all the blood in your throat. You are slowly dying.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: I’m not female.
Stranger: im not male
Stranger: *I’m
You: That means you must be female. Am I right?
Stranger: yeah that means you must be male?
Stranger: am i right?
You: Well done. You’re quite clever for a girl.
Stranger: :) haha do you got twitter?
You: I haven’t got anything to say, so no.
Stranger: Oh what you name?
You: Lydon. Yours?
Stranger: Jenn
Stranger: cool name bro
You: I’d say thanks, but I didn’t come up with it.
Stranger: :) Haha your funny!
You: I do my best. From where are you, Jenn?
Stranger: hold on i can’t read while i am singer
You: I’m guessing somewhere where English is not your first language?
Stranger: no i speek english?
Stranger: how old are you?
You: 19. How old are you?
Stranger: 18
You: So from what country are you?
Stranger: London England
You: I used to live there. Whereabouts?
Stranger: Doncaster
You: Are you originally from England?
Stranger: yeah
You: OK. What do you like doing, Jenn?
Stranger: Singing i am going to be famoud one day!
Stranger: *famous
You: Good luck with that. Do you have any videos of you singing on YouTube or something?
Stranger: no but i will soon later sometime but im not aloud to shouw my face so i will have to like draw a picture and hold it infromt of the camra! :) but i have to go but i will never be able to talk to you again do you have email?
You: lapearsall@googlemail.com. Why can’t you show your face?
Stranger: my mom doesnt want me to and i think it is safeer
You: You’re a big girl now, though.
Stranger: I know but i think i is safer! well i gtg i will email you later and isent it “Gmail” not google mail?
You: Either is fine. Bye, sexy.
Stranger: bye i guess
You: You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.
Stranger: can you not call me sexy i have a boyfriend!
You: I’ll call you what I want.
Stranger: My boyfriend is with me and i am not going to email you anymore by!!!
You: That’s fine. Bye, sexy.
Stranger: my boyfriend wants to talk to you
You: Hey, mate.
Stranger: Get away from my girlfriend i love her she is the best thing ever and if she askes you to stop calling her sexy stop she is way better than you can ever amagen!
You: Really? I can amagen some pretty imazing and coherent women. Sorry, sexy. I won’t call her that, then.
Stranger: You want a peace of this!!!!1
You: Calm down, babe. I’m not looking for trouble.
Stranger: I gtg go hopefully i will never ever talk to you sgain and i am defently not email you and either is my girlfriend!!
Stranger: *again
You: OK. Bye. Tell her I think she’s sexy.
Stranger: Fuck you go away you ugly beast!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Question to discuss:
how to approach a girl ?
Stranger: Your legs.
You: From behind.
Stranger: Use your legs.
You: Use your cock as well.
Stranger: NO!
Stranger: That will not help you walk.
Stranger: In any case, it will hinder your ability to walk.
Stranger: Maybe after you’re right behind her.
You: Not mine. It’s massive.
Stranger: Ya, but it’s still not capable of locomotion :|
Stranger: Unless. .
You: It slides along like a snail.
Stranger: Yours is?
Stranger: Oh, the images. .
You: Do they turn you on, you pervert?
Stranger: Eh.
Stranger: Snail penis. .
Stranger: Not really my fetish.
You: What is your fetish?
Stranger: :|
Stranger: Owl penis.
You: I can twist the head 360 degrees if that’s what you’re into?
Stranger: My face
Stranger: :|
Stranger: That.
Stranger: You can’t see it, but there’s a tinge of wut.
Stranger: ;:|
You: I want to cum on your wut face.
Stranger: With your snail/owl abomo-penis?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hey
You: Hello.
Stranger: how r u ?
You: Roobot no?
Stranger: lol
Stranger: not well i guess
You: How are you?
Stranger: im good
Stranger: asl?
You: Guess.
Stranger: umm 20?
Stranger: m
You: Close enough.
Stranger: idk antartica?
Stranger: lol
You: No. That is a silly answer.
Stranger: yes, yes it is
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 17
You: Baby.
Stranger: mmhmm
Stranger: lol how old r u?
You: 18.
Stranger: baby.
You: Then you must be foetus.
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: -___- no
You: Got a boyfriend?
Stranger: no singleswaggg
You: Want a boyfriend?
Stranger: idk , havent thought about it
Stranger: its been a while
You: Come to England and be my boyfriend.
Stranger: your a girl??
You: No. What makes you think that?
Stranger: you said come be MY boyfriend
You: Got a problem with that?
Stranger: umm…idk
Stranger: are you a heshe?
You: Is that what homophobes call gays nowadays?
Stranger: yea kinda
Stranger: is that you?
You: No. I’m straight.
Stranger: well im a girl js
You: With tits and everything?
Stranger: and i have no clue why you would say be MY boyfriend unless it was a typo
You: I’m just bored.
Stranger: yup
Stranger: okay
You: From where are you?
Stranger: well..
Stranger: us
You: You are from us? Am I your Dad and you your own Mum?
Stranger: usa
You: Is that in Africa somewhere?
Stranger: l m a o
Stranger: no its in antartica -___-
Stranger: jk
You: That is a silly answer.
Stranger: why yes its not
You: What are you wearing?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Question to discuss:
I AM THE MINOTAUR. ALL CLOWNS ARE THE MINOTAUR. IT WILL NEVER BE YOUR BIRTHDAY AGAIN.
You: Me too.
Stranger: :O
Stranger: noooooo
Stranger: my life
Stranger: it is ruined
Stranger: all those years!
You: It’s not real.
Stranger: those lies!
You: He’s not really the minotaur.
Stranger: i know
Stranger: it is called sarcasm
Stranger: look it up
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
Guess what
Stranger: hi
You: Hello.
Stranger: what
You: Who are you?
Stranger: i am god
You: Really?
Stranger: yes
You: I’m your biggest fan.
You: I’ve got all your book.
Stranger: ok
You: Where did you get the idea for those commandments?
Stranger: my brother
Stranger: joe
You: Why isn’t he mentioned in the Bible?
Stranger: because i was mothers fav son
You: What does your mother look like?
Stranger: hold on i have a pic
You: Good. I need a wank.
Stranger: http://www.google.com/imgres?q=trollolol&num=10&um=1&hl=en&rlz=1C1TSNJ_enUS459US459&biw=1366&bih=667&tbm=isch&tbnid=PzLNsRjsl3N8HM:&imgrefurl=http://s296.photobucket.com/albums/mm185/predacon-/%3Faction%3Dview%26current%3D1280268178120.jpg%26newest%3D1&docid=QGRzUU7Kc4APfM&imgurl=http://i296.photobucket.com/albums/mm185/predacon-/1280268178120.jpg&w=469&h=428&ei=6MDeTu7HDcHg0QHS8eS4Bw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=191&vpy=290&dur=176&hovh=214&hovw=235&tx=126&ty=85&sig=117608168550092535649&sqi=2&page=1&tbnh=141&tbnw=176&start=0&ndsp=22&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:0
Stranger: that
You: It doesn’t load for me. Is she sexy?
Stranger: here
Stranger: V
Stranger: http://www.google.com/imgres?q=hot+chick&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&rlz=1C1TSNJ_enUS459US459&biw=1366&bih=667&tbm=isch&tbnid=hSvz0KBy3vsJcM:&imgrefurl=http://www.hotstockmarket.com
Stranger: try this
You: Your Mum’s alright. Could I have her number?
Stranger: hold on i have it over here
Stranger: 212-660-2245
Stranger: there
You: Thanks. I’ll give it a go.
Stranger: ok she is
Stranger: hot
You: An old man answered. He said he doesn’t know any women.
Stranger: ok
You: Did you lie to me?
Stranger: i am very sorry
Stranger: i hope the man watching this is entertained
Stranger: he has not ended yet
Stranger: no i did not lie
You: Aren’t you the man watching this?
Stranger: no
You: You are God, afterall.
Stranger: this is spy mode
You: If he quits, we can still talk. I would have thought God would know that.
Stranger: oh ok well omegle is the devels work i dont go on it much
You: What’s Omegle?
Stranger: the site we are on
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
How can i stump my growth? im going threw a highschool growth spert and im already 5’7 im female :'( i get harassed and physically bullied b/c im so tall :( other than coffee please i beg of you
You: Sleep upside down?
Stranger: I’m 5’9 and a female..
You: Freak.
Stranger: You’re really not that tall
Stranger: Was the freak directed towards me..
You: Both of you tall ladies.
Stranger: Um alright, asshole
You: I love you, really.
Stranger: Mhmm, I can feel your love through the screen
Stranger: Warm and cozt
You: That’s radiation.
Stranger: cozy too
Stranger: Aw, shit
You: Enjoy your new ears.
Stranger: Yay for supersonic hearing..
You: You can hear dog whistles. You must be a dog.
Stranger: A tall, sexy dog with three ears to be exact
You: If you were from Gamibinique you’d be my ideal woman.
Stranger: Hold on while I Google that..
You: Tricked you.
Stranger: Now why would you do such a thing
Stranger: Asshole..
You: The fact that you expected it to be real, and I disappointed you, turned me on.
Stranger: Hahahahah, you’re a freak, ya know that?
You: I wondered why I lived in a cage.
Stranger: ‘Cause you’re Batman’s cousin
You: Mouseman?
Stranger: Yes, Mouseman indeed. The greatest mouseman to have ever lived
You: That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said about me.
Stranger: ;)
You: That photo makes you look half Chinese.
Stranger: ….
Stranger: I dunno how to respond to that
You: Four dots and an “I dunno how to respond to that” will do.
Stranger: Hahahahhahaaah, I’m glad
You: From where are you?
Stranger: I’m from Northern USA
Stranger: You?
You: Alaska?
You: England.
Stranger: Called it! I knew you were English
Stranger: and no, not that far up north
You: I don’t know any middle states. Ohio?
Stranger: Maine
You: I hear the tyre industry is booming in maine.
Stranger: Oh, that’s fantastic..
You: What are you up to?
Stranger: I’m listening to music, you?
You: Me too. To what are you listening?
Stranger: Golden Silvers
Stranger: They’re actually British
You: One of those new bands from after the year 2000?
Stranger: Yeahh
You: The year 2000 was the pinnacle of humankind.
Stranger: Music wise? or just in general
Stranger: How old are you, by the way?
You: In all aspects of life. I’m 18 years young. You?
Stranger: Really? I thought you were a bit older. I’m sixteen
You: Sixteen? You’re not even 17.
Stranger: Does that bother you or something?
You: No. It’s not like I’m going to have sex with you.
Stranger: Well, yeah
You: Cheer up. It might happen if you’re lucky.
Stranger: I’ll cross my fingers
You: Fingers crossed and legs open.
Stranger: That’s a nice image plastered in my mind
You: That’s what happens when you talk to a weirdo.
Stranger: You’re not a weirdo. You’re a freak
You: You kids… Aren’t they the same?
Stranger: Hahaha, I’m no kid. And there’s a big difference, man
Stranger: Freaks are…freaky. You’re just plain ol’ freaky
You: It’s people like you that make me want to cut my wrists.
Stranger: Wow. And to think I thought you couldn’t get any freakier
You: I also have no hair on my body except for on my cheeks and I like playing Monopoly alone.
Stranger: Why are you telling me this
You: We shouldn’t keep secrets if we’re going to get married.
Stranger: But you haven’t even proposed yet
You: Will you marry me?
Stranger: No.
You: Cocktease. Whyn’t?
Stranger: ‘Cause I don’t love you, that’s why
You: But I love you.
Stranger: Yeeeah, this unfortunately is a one-way street, snookums
Stranger: I just called you snookums..
You: Is that another word for freak?
Stranger: But more loving, of course
Stranger: I’m trying to let you down easy, so you fall softly on your tiny mouseman ass
You: I’d rather fall onto your sexy ass.
Stranger: Flattering, but not mind-changing
You: Do you like bacon? I can cook bacon for you every day.
Stranger: Oh man, that’s a tough offer to deny
Stranger: Feed it to me, and you’ve got a deal
You: I will do.
Stranger: Yay, we’re a match made in heaven
You: Well, your half is.
Stranger: Aren’t you the sweetest
You: Second sweetest after you.
Stranger: Alright, alright, I’m gonna get a sugar overload from all your sweetnes
You: And then you’ll get a cum overload from my dick. But the cum will be sweet.
Stranger: Woah, this conversation took an unusual sexual turn
You: An ever-present risk when talking to me.
Stranger: I’m not surprised, really, given the nature of this site
You: You like the attention.
Stranger: Right, because I intend to arouse random boys from around the world and ultimately have them have a “cum overload”
You: I knew it.
Stranger: You’re a smart cookie
You: Not as smart or edible as you.
Stranger: Are you honestly horny?
You: I’m male, so yes, but not much.
Stranger: Oh, alright..because I’m not prepared to engage in some freaky cyber-sex exchange
You: Good.
Stranger: Indeed
You: Got any plans for this week?
Stranger: School, a couple field hockey games, shit
Stranger: yourself?
You: I have a job interview on Wednesday. I might go to the pub another day.
Stranger: Sweeet. I wish I could just hit up pubs whenever I wanted
You: Soon enough, little one. Soon enough.
Stranger: Can’t wait to get drunk and puke everywhere
You: That’s fun.
Stranger: I can imagine!
You: Once I got really drunk on about half a shandy and meant to walk home but ended up at Homebase instead.#
Stranger: What’s a homebase?
You: The hardware store.
Stranger: Ohh, must be an English thing
Stranger: But hmm, that’s interesting
You: On another occasion I got a bit drunk and went to school. Nothing funny happened.
Stranger: And nobody noticed?
You: Don’t think so.
Stranger: Damn, that’s lucky
You: It was skill.
Stranger: What time is it over there?
You: Time you got a watch. 2 AM… in the morning.
Stranger: Jeeeeez, that’s late
You: I know. I can’t leave you, though.
Stranger: Good, I’d die without you
You: Only because I’d kill you if you divorced me.
Stranger: Hahahaha, you evil mofo
You: But it’s a moot point because you’ll never leave me.
Stranger: Wouldn’t dream of it….
You: What do you aspire to be?
Stranger: My ideal job would be in the acting industry
You: Can you act?
Stranger: Well, yeagh
You: You should have said no.
Stranger: hahaha, why?
You: That would have been acting.
Stranger: Ahhh
Stranger: I’m not as clever as you, clearly
You: Of course not you’re only 16.
You: And American.
You: And female.
Stranger: Ouch, ouch, and ouch
You: The truth hurts, but not as much as a brick.
Stranger: Unless it’s a brick made out of feathers
You: We don’t have those in England.
Stranger: Get with the times, man. Get with them
Stranger: Alright, I’ve got to finish my homework at some point
You: A shape with six sides is a hexagon, if that helps.
Stranger: With English? Not so much. But I admire the effort
You: I guess you’d better be going, then.
Stranger: Well, if you want me to that badly…
You: I want you to disconnect and come straight to England to find me.
Stranger: And what would I do once I found you?
You: We could hold hands.
Stranger: That’s cute
You: Have you ever held a boy’s hand before?
Stranger: I’m not five
You: I didn’t say you were.
Stranger: Ughh, hushhh. Yes, I have, once upon a time
You: I hope you wore a glove so you didn’t get pregnant.
Stranger: Nope, I got a love child sitting on my lap as we speak
You: A love child sounds like some sort of perverted sex toy.
Stranger: Yeah, well, you have a twisted mind
You: Like an Escher painting.
Stranger: I love M.C
You: Is he one of those rappers down the banisters?
Stranger: Ha. Ha.
I read that in an English accent in my head
You: Repeat it a few times in different voices and it’ll be funnier.
Stranger: Hahahah, you’re right
Stranger: Indian is the best
You: Racist.
Stranger: :(
You: Cheer up, sexy.
Stranger: You got it, stud
You: I am a stud. I’ll be all over your jeans.
Stranger: Yumm
You: What time is it there?
Stranger: 9:30 pm
You: That’s a bit late.
Stranger: Are you trying to get me to leave?
You: Sort of. I am a bit tired and I’m not as funny when I’m tired.
Stranger: Oh…
Stranger: You can totally go to bed if you want
You: Can you come with me?
Stranger: Absolutely, spooning ftw
You: I’ll leave with that image in my mind. Goodnight.
Stranger: Goodnight, stranger :)
Stranger: I guess you’ll remain one forever
You: Lucky you.
Stranger: Alright, goodbye
You: OK. I love you. Bye bye.
You have disconnected.

Question to discuss:
why do grown-ass men love my little pony?!
Stranger: Cos they’re cool
You: Because you have a nice pony?
Stranger: Yeah, that too
You: Do you like ponies?
Stranger: No
Stranger: I like Llamas though
You: What is that? Is it like a cow?
Stranger: No, they’re like a Horse, but they have long necks, they spit at people and they’re awesome
You: You’re thinking of camels.
Stranger: No, Camels have humps
Stranger: Llamas don’t
You: Lamas would get humps
You: if I had my way.
Stranger: *Llamas
You: Are they Welsh?
Stranger: No
You: *Lamas, then.
Stranger: *Llamas
You: Are you actually a massive fucking idiot?
Stranger: Better question… Are you?
You: I know how to spell lama.
Stranger: Its Llama
You: Do I look like I have mug written across my forehead? It’s lama.
Stranger: No, its Llama
You: Are you one years old? Do you not understand simple words?
Stranger: Oh, I understand perfectly
You: You just can’t spell them.
Stranger: I’m just finding it hard, because you’re so ignorant
You: At least I know what a lama is.
Stranger: Its a Llama
Stranger: And evidently, you have the knowledge of a spoon
You: Of course I have that knowledge. Everyone knows what a spoon does.
Stranger: And, yet, a smart guy like you, must surely know about Llamas
You: The word is “lama” you big ninny.
Stranger: No, I think you’ll find, its Llama
You: Yeah. Of course it is, fucking idiot.
Stranger: Google it
Stranger: Moron
You: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lama Now who is the moron?
Stranger: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Llama
Stranger: Moron
You: You just changed the link.
Stranger: I know what a Lama is
Stranger: Check it
You: A Lama is a man who looks like a horse with a long neck who spits at people. Don’t you even know that yet?
Stranger: No, a Lama is a spiritual leader
You: A word can have two meaning, dicktwin.
Stranger: A Llama is a ” is a South American camelid, widely used as a meat and pack animal by Andean cultures since pre-Hispanic times.”
You: You just made that up.
Stranger: Check the link dingus
You: You changed the page on Wikipedia and just copied the image of an alapaca to the page.
Stranger: You do realise, thats impossible to do, in the time we’ve been talking?
You: Not if you had a picture of an alapaca saved on your desktop like a pervert.
Stranger: I can clearly see you are an uneducated fool
You: You must have turned your screen off so it is acting like a mirror.
Stranger: I’m sorry, you must have me mistaken for a Neanderthal… Sorry, I’m not related to you…
You: I’m not even from the Netherlands.
Stranger: They’re Dutch you moron
You: Lamas aren’t Dutch. They’re from South America.
Stranger: Llamas are from South America
Stranger: Lamas come from Tibet
You: I think you’re getting a bit confused.
Stranger: No, I think I know exactly whats going on
You: What’s that then, you big muff?
Stranger: That you have no knowledge of anything outside of your cave, and you like displaying your foolishness
You: At least I can afford a cave. You can’t even afford how to spell lama.
Stranger: Oh, you know, I didn’t know they had to pay for words on Gondwanaland
You: It’s called Venice. Not Gondolaland.
Stranger: How convenient… Monkey knows words
You: I know words like lama. Words that you don’t know.
Stranger: I get the impression, that I know more than you ever will
You: I know at least 100 hundred words. So I am more good than you.
Stranger: Clearly
You: So you admit you are a big fool?
Stranger: No, I admit that you’re stupidity is rather hilarious
You: It really is.
Stranger: I must admit, it has given me a rather good chuckle
You: What’s a chuckle?
You: Is it like a boner?
Stranger: Another word for laugh
You: Oh right.
Stranger: So, before I leave you to stew in your own juices, I’ll say this… Pick up a book, or something once in a while, and do try not to cut yourself on the pages… I’d had to think I led a silly person like you to hurt themselves
You: OK. Thanks. Good luck with your legs.
Stranger: Yes, my legs and I shall now depart… Goodbye Uneducated rabble
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Male or inferior?
Stranger: hey :)
You: Hello.
Stranger: inferior!
Stranger: hi
You: I’m sorry to hear that.
Stranger: haha fuck u
You: Hit a nerve, have I?
Stranger: How old are u anyways?
You: 18 years young. You?
Stranger: 16 years old
You: Sooooo cute.
Stranger: you’re not
Stranger: you’re just old
You: I’m young and full of energy.
Stranger: I’m younger and have all the energy in the world
You: You can go on top, then.
Stranger: haha
Stranger: wow, illegal
You: Not if you came here.
Stranger: where is here?
You: England please.
Stranger: australias kinda far away bro
You: Don’t be frigid.
Stranger: and yeah, it’s still illegal
Stranger: in england
Stranger: duhhhhhh
You: I don’t know the laws where I live. Thanks for telling me.
Stranger: you should learn them, go to college
You: Can I learn sarcasm in college?
Stranger: hmmmm
Stranger: i have no idea what to say to that
You: Cat got your tongue?
Stranger: ohhhh you were being sarcastic
Stranger: i thought you were just an idiot
You: The cat had my tongue the other day. I was licking out its pussy. Do you like jokes?
Stranger: thats fucking disgusting
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Male or inferior?
Stranger: huh
You: It’s a simple question.
Stranger: ok that was rude!!!!!!
You: Cheer up, girly.
Stranger: fuck you doucheeeeeeeeeeeeee bag
You: Calm down. It was just a joke.
Stranger: hahaahah oh
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 15. how old are you
You: 18 years young.
Stranger: where are you from
You: England. You?
Stranger: minnesota
You: Is that like a mini soda?
Stranger: yeah duh. thats all we drink here
You: Have you ever been really drunk?
Stranger: why are you asking me this?
You: Why are you asking me that? Just curious.
Stranger: ive been pretty fucked up before yes. have you?
Stranger: and are you cute because i dont talk to ugly people
You: I am cute as a cucumber. Only once. Are you cute?
Stranger: im smokin, and you are 18 and only drank once hahaahah
You: I’ve only been properly drunk once.
Stranger: thats a sad story
You: How many times have you completed Morrowind?
Stranger: hey is it cool in england
Stranger: what the heck is morrowind
You: You don’t know it? That’s a sad story.
Stranger: do you go to college or something mister because you seem smart
You: I’m unemployed.
Stranger: hahahhahah sad s
Stranger: tory
You: I know. Got any jobs going?
Stranger: yeah i work at a catholic retreat center (:
You: Is a catholic someone who really likes cats?
Stranger: haahhaha yes
Stranger: there all addicted to cats and i teach them to not have to depend on them
Stranger: do u have an accent because that would be sexy
You: I suppose so.
Stranger: you seriously do?
You: I am English, so I would have an accent to you.
Stranger: i am english too. and i dont have an accent
You: If you are English, why do you find the accent sexy?
Stranger: because i am sexxy (: and i guess i am not english i guesss i just speak english ahah
You: Got any pictures?
Stranger: yeah . i take pics all the time
You: Care to share?
Stranger: ehhh nah
You: Frigid.
Stranger: ur mean
You: Because I know you love it rough.
Stranger: are you a virgin?
You: No. Are you?
Stranger: sadly yes
You: Why are you sad about it?#
Stranger: because i want to have sex
Stranger: before i die
You: Are you going to die in the next few years, then?
Stranger: no i dont know when i will die retard thats the point
You: You’ll die soon if you call me a retard again.
Stranger: retard
Stranger: reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetard
You: What’s wrong with being retarded?
Stranger: nothing i just felt like calling you a retard
You: Why do you use it as an insult? Are you prejudiced against handicapped people?
Stranger: i didnt mean it as an insult i think being retarded is a cool thing
You: So you were complimenting me?
Stranger: duhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! i wish i had an accent
Stranger: do u think ppl from the us sound cool?
You: No. If you came to England, you would have a noticeable accent, and I could help you lose your virginity.
Stranger: i dont wanna have sex with you !
Stranger: and do people in england think it is cool when people from the usa have an accen thahah ?
Stranger: cuz i do
You: Maybe. I haven’t asked everyone here what they think.
Stranger: u type slow
Stranger: ask please
Stranger: are you by anyone?
You: I type slowly because I use a little thing we in England like to call punctuation. Nobody is nearby.
Stranger: omg bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Male or inferior?
Stranger: hi
You: Hello.
Stranger: male
You: From where are you?
Stranger: italy
You: Do you like kebabs?
Stranger: yup
Stranger: why are you asking me ?
You: They come from your country.
Stranger: no, Kebab are not italian
You: Yes they are. Just like Mario and the Nazis.
Stranger: only Mario is from italy, nazis are from germany, and kebabs are from Arabic countries
You: You’re wrong, but OK.
Stranger: ok…wbu, then?
You: I like kebabs too.
Stranger: and where are you from?
You: Italy.
Stranger: ok
You: England. I tricked you!
Stranger: I know, otherwise you would talked italian
Stranger: are you m or f?
You: Male.
Stranger: why you told inferior before?
You: Women are inferior.
Stranger: I think they aren’t
You: You’re wrong, but OK.
Stranger: ok
You: What time is it in Nazi Italy?
Stranger: it’s an hour after your Catholic English time
You: What are you doing up at 3:15 AM in the morning?
Stranger: whatever I want
You: Wanking?
Stranger: even that, why not?
You: It’s weird that I turn you on.
Stranger: You don’t in fact
You: Then why are you masturbating over me?
Stranger: there is only a computer in front of me, so I’m not doin’ it over you
Stranger: my keybord turn me on
You: You’re thinking about my hot arse, though.
Stranger: no
Stranger: you are not a girl, so not
You: I’m not judging you.
Stranger: I’m not asking you not to do it, and I haven’t asked you why you’re judging me
You: I’m not judging you about your homosexuality.
Stranger: i’m not, but if you want to think it do it, I don’t know you, I don’t give a fuck
You: I’m glad you don’t care that others think you’re gay.
Stranger: People can think anything, I’m not people and people aren’t me
You: You are about .07% of all people in the world, though.
Stranger: I’m not a person
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Female or inferior?
Stranger: asl?
You: Guess.
Stranger: f/17/US?
You: So close.
Stranger: How close?
You: About 4
Stranger: 21 OR 13?
You: No. 4 on the scale of closeness.
Stranger: I dont know what the hell that means
You: As any schoolchild knows, the scale of closeness shows how close two things are.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: heyh baby ;) 17 f canada
You: Female or inferior?
You: Girl power. Yeah!
Stranger: :)
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: a thong and shirt
You: Put some clothes on, whore.
Stranger: no thanks
Stranger: its to hot here :P
You: You are wrong. Canada is always cold.
Stranger: no
You: I think I know a little more about Canada than you do.
Stranger: ive lived in canada my whole life bud
You: But you are female and therefore you don’t know nothing ’bout nothing.
Stranger: stfu bitchh
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: 18. Male. England.
Stranger: cool 25 m uk
You: Gay?
Stranger: bi
You: Are you going?
Stranger: ??
You: You just said bye.
Stranger: bisexual
You: What’s that? Does that mean you were born a woman?
Stranger: No, I like fucking women (a lot) but also like the look and feel of a good looking young cock
You: That’s definitely a bit gay.
Stranger: A little, but I just like the look of a cock, not the look of the man, strange?
You: You are a pervert.
Stranger: sorry,but not really, just have a high sex drive
You: Mine’s so high I can’t get it off the shelf, and by that i mean I wank a lot.
Stranger: well surely you can appreciate that whether it’s a women or or man grabbing hold of you cock, it doesn’;t really matter..
You: Oh, it does matter. It matters very much.
Stranger: that’s cool, ever fucked a girl?
You: I barely even know what a girl is, but yes.
Stranger: Sorry, you’ll have to explain, why don’t you know what a girl si?
You: I don’t get out much.
Stranger: eed to go for 5 mins, love to carry on talking to you,will you wait?
You: No. I hate you.
Stranger: ok cool each to his own
You: No you disconnect first.
Stranger: why would i want to, I actually find talking to you quite interesting
You: Sounds a bit gay to me.
Stranger: Ok no worries
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Who is better-looking? http://i54.tinypic.com/f23jo6.jpg
Stranger: One sec
You: One.
Stranger: One minute :)
You: One.
Stranger: It’s the same guy?
You: Almost. He’s my brother.
Stranger: Oh well the guy on the left .. The beard on the left is kinda .. A turn off
You: That’s not what the last person said.
Stranger: What did they say ?
You: They said they preferred grumpy-old-me over my brother.
Stranger: Oh sorry but I’d rather your brother ..
You: Why?
Stranger: Just clean shaven & his hair is cuter !
You: So If I shaved and cut my hair, we could have a threesome?
Stranger: It’s not as shaggy & he doesn’t look like he’s lazy .. No offense & haha maybe !
You: Niiiiiice. We’ll be round tomorrow. Is that OK?
Stranger: Haha well I got school tomorrow till three ! But after that sure
You: School? How old are you? 17?
Stranger: Yea 17
Stranger: Well 18 in June !
You: From where are you?
Stranger: Canada !
You: That’s in America, isn’t it?
Stranger: No ? Where the fuck are you from?
Stranger: Canada is an entirely different country !
You: England, and I think I know a little something about Canada and what country it’s in.
Stranger: I think I know considering I live in it ! It’s in the content of north America ! [I read this as “content north of America” At the time, I thought it was a funny way of putting it.]
You: That’s Greenland and sea. You should know more about the state you live in.
Stranger: Or you should take geography classes
You: I am male and older, so I know more than you, you stupid whore.
Stranger: Go fuck your brother ! I’m pretty sure just cause your older doesnt make you smarter & plus all males know is how to scratch their & as & where the fridge is
You: And I know where Canada is. :)
Stranger: I’m sure you do
You: How many people have you had sex with?
Stranger: 1 & it was a joke when I said id do it with you
You: Why? Am I really that ugly?
Stranger: Noo ..? I just wouldn’t I’m not a whore
You: Good. Maybe not all American girls are whores.
Stranger: I’m not fucking american
You: You come from America? Yes. Therefore, you are American. I don’t mind.
Stranger: I’m not american .. I’m canadian
You: I’m not saying you’re not Canadian, but you are also American. Canada is in the USA.
Stranger: No it’s not , it’s next to the usa
You: It’s in the USA. Why can you not understand a simple fact?
Stranger: Because it’s not a fact !
You: Are you angry at me?
Stranger: Kinda
You: Do you want to spank me?
Stranger: No?
You: Why not?
Stranger: Cause that’s weird
You: Probably some of the stuff you like seems weird.
Stranger: What
You: Having sex with a man seems weird to me.
Stranger: Umm k?
You: Got any fetishes?
Stranger: No?
You: I bet you have.
Stranger: Nope
You: So your ideal sex would just be in the missionary position and nothing else?
Stranger: No?
You: What would your ideal sex be?
Stranger: I dunno , different positions ? Ive only done it once
You: With who?
Stranger: My bf
You: Does bf mean big fanny? Is he still your big fanny?
Stranger: No? It means boyfriend!
You: Is he still your boyfriend?
Stranger: No
You: Why did you break up?
Stranger: Different reasons
You: Was he having sex with someone slimmer and more attractive than you?
Stranger: -_- you don’t even know what I look like!
You: Don’t get me wrong, you’re not that bad to look at.
Stranger: How. Do you know?
You: Profiling.
Stranger: What
You: I can tell by the way you type and what you say.
Stranger: Really?
You: Yes.
Stranger: Weird
You: Not really. We do it subconsciously all the time.
Stranger: True .. But I saw a picture of you
You: I bet you have made other assumptions about me, though, haven’t you?
Stranger: Maybe ? Who doesnt make assumptions
You: Exactly, but mine are correct.
Stranger: How?
You: Years of practice.
Stranger: Ok quiz then .. What colors my hair?
You: I can really only tell the basics about your appearance, but taking a random guess, I’d say brunette.
Stranger: Alright .. Well then tell me what you think I look like !
You: As I say, reasonably attractive, a bit fat (but you look good. It’s not an insult), slightly above average height.
Stranger: What’s average height?
You: About 5 foot 6.
Stranger: Ok .. Your good at this I guess ..
You: As I say, years of practice.
Stranger: How old are you?
You: 18.
Stranger: :o dick
Stranger: You said you were much older your not even a year older
You: I said I was older. Did you make an assumption?
Stranger: You said you were much older
You: When?
Stranger: When we were arguing about Canada being in the USA (which it’s fucking NOT)
You: Arguments are a great way to judge a person. I said I was older. I am older.
Stranger: Not much older ! When’s your birthday ?
You: May 21 1993.
Stranger: So your not even a year older than me
You: No. Assumptions can be dangerous.
Stranger: K?
You: Just saying.
Stranger: Alright well what else do you think I look like ?
You: Anything else is much more than profiling can achieve. I’m not psychic.
Stranger: Well then just guess
You: C-size tits. Green eyes. No deformities. Long hair.
Stranger: Holy shit !
You: Something the matter?
Stranger: Your kinda really good at this ! Like 3/4 on that last one
You: One of the guesses was no deformities. Does that really count?
Stranger: No .. I have like should length hair , that’s not really long & I don’t have deformities unless crooked fingers count
You: What’s that?
Stranger: My middle fingers aren’t strange
You: Straight?
Stranger: Stupid iPod ! Yea they aren’t straight
You: Have you tried straightening them?
Stranger: It’s the bone that isn’t straight the only way to straighten them would be to break them
You: I think it’s too much masturbation that’s caused that.
Stranger: I’ve never masturbated ? & it’s been like that since I was born !
You: You’ve never masturbated? You’ve never lived.
Stranger: I’m not a guy .. I don’t really have time to masturbate & when I do I have much better things to do
You: Multitask. I’m masturbating right now.
Stranger: Uh .. Didn’t need to know that !
Stranger: & plus it wouldn’t make my middle fingers crooked
You: Unless you were doing it on a bus and you went over a harsh bump.
Stranger: No , still wouldn’t make them deformed & that’s gross who would do that?
You: Not me, that’s for sure. Who said it was me? I don’t do it. Honest.
Stranger: Ew , you do don’t you
You: No.
Technical error: server disconnected.

Lucky guesses. This is the first time I tried it. Maybe I am actually psychic.

You: Good morning.
Stranger: good morning
You: Where are you?
Stranger: i’m in the netherlands
Stranger: and you?
You: England.
Stranger: ok
You: Why aren’t you in bed?
Stranger: because i’m slept until 1 o’clock in the afternoon
Stranger: im not tired
Stranger: i slept
Stranger: :p
You: Get a job, you hippy.
Stranger: im 17
Stranger: i have holiday
Stranger: and i have a job anuslicker
You: I’d like to lick your anus.
Stranger: great
Stranger: then i don t have to whipe it anymore
You: You’d let me do it, you gay.
Stranger: i.m not gay
Stranger: but i didnt asked if you were male
Stranger: fokka
Stranger: echhe bebbeche
You: I am male, gayboy.
Stranger: vuil kankerjoch
You: No you are.
Stranger: you don t know what is means
You: I know it is you.
Stranger: haha
Stranger: krijg toch tauw tyus
You: Shut up.
Stranger: you call me gay
Stranger: pussy
You: I could beat you up.
Stranger: don t think so
Stranger: i’m a kickboxer
You: They don’t have a name for how I fight.
Stranger: haha
Stranger: if you try
Stranger: i would break your fucking neck gayboy
You: Would you do a little kickboxing gay dance to do it?
Stranger: haha you don t know shit about me
Stranger: guess your are a nerd who sits behind his computer all day
You: I know kickboxing is for pussies.
Stranger: and thinks he is a though guy
You: I sit in front of my computer so I can see the screen, you idiot.
Stranger: what the fuck man
Stranger: i”m not english
Stranger: motherfucker
Stranger: guess you can;t speak dutch
Stranger: asshole
You: My native language is a good one so I don’t have to waste time learning a better one.
Stranger: hahah
Stranger: yeah right
Stranger: lasy english people
Stranger: fuck yourself bro
You: Hit a nerve, have I?
Stranger: i’m out of here
Stranger: no
Stranger: not exactly
You: OK, bye gay.
Stranger: but i don t like you at all
Stranger: lucky i don t know uy
You: But I love you.
Stranger: cause that would cost you your neck
You: The joke’s on you because I don’t have one.
Stranger: are you ttthat fat
Stranger: haha
You: I wouldn’t call 25 stone fat.
Stranger: 25 what?
You: 25 stone.
Stranger: wattefuck is that
You: 14 pounds, n00b.
Stranger: why would i know how much a stone is
Stranger: they don t use that in normal country’s
Stranger: yeah
You: They don’t speak Netherlish in normal countries either.
Stranger: nice talking to ya
Stranger: netherlish
Stranger: we call it dutch
Stranger: moron
You: In English, it’s Netherlish, moron.
Stranger: no it s dutch in english moron
Stranger: in dutch it is nederlands
You: No. You are wrong.
Stranger: don t think so
Stranger: but never mind
Stranger: i’m out of here
Stranger: you suck
You: Bye, sexy.
Stranger: haha find yourself a girl or something
Stranger: geek
You: I’m not from Greece.
Stranger: whattefak mamn
Stranger: man
Stranger: r you realy english
Stranger: that means nerd you son of a bitch
You: No. I’m Geek, from Greece.
Stranger: that greek
Stranger: arsloch
You: In English, it’s Geek.
Stranger: you talk shit
Stranger: guess u aren’t that smart
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
would you suck my 9in D for a Dime?
You: Question to discuss: Is the person asking the above question a cunt?
Stranger: yes
You: I agree.
Stranger: indubidable.
You: Who are you?
Stranger: a stranger.
You: What’s is your a?
Stranger: 18
You: What is your s?
Stranger: m
You: What is your d?
Stranger: d?
You: I’m just going along the keyboard.
Stranger: I’m sorry what?
Stranger: oh
Stranger: all I can think about is dick
Stranger: I must be gay
Stranger: oh fuck, need to tell dad asap.
You: Why? Is he gay too?
Stranger: nope
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello. 18. Male. England.
Stranger: wasnt gonna ask…
Stranger: but okay
You: Most people ask.
Stranger: yeah i know
Stranger: but i think its weird
Stranger: how about this: u guess my asl, i’ll tell you hot or cold
You: 17. Female. USA.
Stranger: hahaha damn pretty hot
Stranger: 19 f canada
You: As far as I’m concerned, my guess was perfect.
Stranger: hey!
Stranger: usa and canada are two totally diff things
Stranger: anyway, canada and england are like, cousins
You: Canada and America are like identical twins.
Stranger: omg
Stranger: that hurts
Stranger: so bad
You: Feel that pain.
Stranger: why you gotta be like that?
You: I am evil.
Stranger: hm. i figured
Stranger: supervillains are always british anyway
You: And nobody is ever Canadian.
Stranger: gotta hand it to you guys though: arctic monkeys
Stranger: and what?
You: The Arctic Monkeys are old. Get with the times.
Stranger: so what?
Stranger: anyway all the best music is from montreal
Stranger: sonic youth are old too, that doesnt mean they arent awesome
You: Sonic Youth are young. It’s in the name.
Stranger: yeah no
You: Yeah yeah. Youth means young. Don’t you even know that yet?
Stranger: you’re just a grump.
Stranger: ciao
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello.
Stranger: m
Stranger: u
You: What?
Stranger: ?????/
Stranger: male
Stranger: you ?
You: I’m fine, thanks.
Stranger: u r male or female ?
Stranger: ?????
You: Guess.
Stranger: female ???????
You: Maybe.
Stranger: what ?????
Stranger: hole or pole ???????
You: That’s rude.
Stranger: tell me…
Stranger: ????????????
You: Why do you care?
Stranger: i care for my cock only
Stranger: not for ur pussy ,,, if u have
You: Oh right.
Stranger: okkkk
Stranger: bye
You: Bye, big boy.
Stranger: tell me if u r female
You: You just said you were going.
Stranger: i m lookng for female
Stranger: and coz u r not tellng thats y? i wana leave
You: I’m such a cocktease, aren’t I?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: Disconnect me
You: Why?
Stranger: I want to do the spy thing and I can’t get it
You: Disconnect yourself.
Stranger: No, you
You: No you hang up first.
Stranger: No you
You: Don’t make me come over there.
Stranger: YOU disconnect ME
You: No, gay.
Stranger: I take that in offense.
Stranger: Disconnect me
You: OK.
Stranger: FUCK
Stranger: Do it.
You: I’m about to do it.
Stranger: Stop taking your time and DO IT DAMN IT.
You: I almost did it then.
Stranger: FUCK YOOOU
You: I’m not going to do it now.
Stranger: I bet if you did disconnect me, it wouldn’t let me do the spy thing because of your bad attitude.
You: You’re the dick who can’t click a fucking button.
Stranger: I did, like a million times, and it didn’t work.
You: Then you’re an idiot.
Stranger: It didn’t give me the option.
Stranger: To do the spy thing.
You: Your best bet would be to try to get someone else to disconnect.
Stranger: I don’t like your attitude.
Stranger: Fix it.
You: Will you have sex with me if I do?
Stranger: Sure.
You: Gay.
Stranger: Ha.
You: Bless you.
Stranger: Didn’t your mother ever teach you manners?
You: She said manners only matter when one is talking to girl that one is trying to impress.
Stranger: Oh, so does that make you a lesbian then?
You: No. Why would it?
Stranger: If you’re talking to a girl and trying to impress her. It just makes sense that you’d be a lesbian. Why else would you try to impress her?
You: I understand that logic, but there are two key elements to lesbianism.
Stranger: And?
You: Do you know what they are?
Stranger: What ar- wait, lesbianism?
Stranger: Haha.
You: Yes. What two things does a person have to be to be a lesbian?
Stranger: I think there are more than two but okay.
Stranger: They have to be female, and be attracted to a female.
You: Well done. You’re learning.
Stranger: I assumed you were female.
Stranger: Hah.
Stranger: So it didn’t backfire on me.
You: Do you want to see a picture of my balls to prove I am male?
Stranger: Only if you want to see mine.
You: What? I thought you were female.
Stranger: Haha.
You: This is better than the spy thing, isn’t it?
Stranger: Haha
Stranger: Yes
Stranger: Now I admitted that you’ll probably disconnect.
You: No. I like the company.
Stranger: Sweetness.
You: http://img535.imageshack.us/img535/2112/ballsr.jpg
Stranger: Hah it says balls in the link.
You: Yes. They are my balls. Look at them.
Stranger: No
You: Are you afraid you’ll like them?
Stranger: A picture doesn’t prove they’re yours.
You: They are, though.
Stranger: Nah
You: Fair enough. They are very disgusting.
Stranger: Haha
You: How are your balls?
Stranger: They’re fine thanks for asking.
You: Producing enough semen and everything?
Stranger: Yeah,
Stranger: Production has actually been up, this past week.
You: Wanker?
Stranger: Yuh.
You: What’s your record in one day?
Stranger: It’s bad luck to keep track
You: Lightweight.
Stranger: Oh and you’re a heavyweight
You: I can cum loads.
Stranger: Awesome for you.
You: Once I had a dream and I came in the kitchen and it went up into the corner.
Stranger: I’m having trouble understanding
You: It’s an easy sentence.
Stranger: You came because of the dream, or you came in the kitchen, in the dream.
You: I came in the dream.
Stranger: No so easy for me. I’m an idiot remember :)
You: Oh yes. You don’t know how to click a button.
Stranger: Right.
Stranger: I thought we established this was better.
You: Not for me. I wanted cybersex and got you instead.
Stranger: Haha
Stranger: Wouldn’t it be funny if I was really a girl?
You: That would make me feel better for wanking over this conversation.
Stranger: I am a girl.
You: So am I.
Stranger: Sweet.
Stranger: But I want to be a guy so I’m reverting back to that now.
You: You’ve got issues.
Stranger: All guys have issues.
Stranger: Yours are worse than mine though.
You: How do you know about my issues?
Stranger: I can see through your typing.
You: What are my issues?
Stranger: You know.
Stranger: Why do you say I have issues?
You: You are a man pretending to be a woman pretending to be a man. That’s weird.
Stranger: Hahaha.
Stranger: Not as weird as you believing it.
You: If you’re not a man being a woman being a man, what are you?
Stranger: Just a man.
You: You were being a woman earlier, pervert.
Stranger: I just said I was a girl, then said I wasn’t. Doesn’t mean I was.
You: I bet you dress up like a little girl, don’t you?
Stranger: It was like two sentences, that’s hardly being a pervert.
Stranger: Not a little girl, that would be weird.
You: Weird suits you.
Stranger: You know what…I think you’re right. But that’s just your idea of weird.
You: I am the sole arbiter of normality.
Stranger: And no, not little girl. I may be odd to you, but I’m no pedo.
Stranger: Normality? and what is that to you?
You: Rob Crane.
Stranger: And who would that be.
You: The most normal and mediocre person alive.
Stranger: Oh that’s probably why I don’t know who he is.
You: It’s a she.
Stranger: Oh cool.
Stranger: Oh that’s probably why I don’t know who she is.
You: Why aren’t you asleep?
Stranger: I don’t like sleep.
You: What about when you are tired?
Stranger: Then I sleep.
You: Once I went 12 hours without sleeping.
Stranger: Bravo.
You: Thanks.
Stranger: I bet you live with your parents.
You: No. I don’t.
Stranger: Oh? You’re a big boy?
You: Yes. I just live with my Mum.
Stranger: Ah.
You: Bless you.
Stranger: You never let me finish.
You: What do you mean?
Stranger: This is why we can’t go nice places.
You: The reason we can’t go nice places is because I never leave the house.
Stranger: Hmm
Stranger: I am going to say that you are from the European region.
You: Yes. It was a 50/50 chance.
Stranger: I derived that conclusion from you saying mum instead of mom, and wanking instead of jacking off.
You: “Mom”? How do you spell Dad? “Did”?
Stranger: Dad is the same.
You: Dad is the same as Mum in your household, judging by your fetish.
Stranger: Haha.
Stranger: Just because I like to crossdress doesn’t mean anything of the sort.
You: I tried crossdressing once. The crucifix looked nice with a jacket on.
Stranger: I don’t follow
You: Do they have jokes in America?
Stranger: Nobody here has a sense od humor.
Stranger: of*
You: Nor a sense of spelling, it would seem.
Stranger: I just don’t understand the crucifix being mentioned. And I’m not the only one that has hit the wrong key.
You: Humour has more letters in that you wrote. I won’t bother explaining the joke.
Stranger: Good.
You: Maybe when you’re older.
Stranger: Humor is a word with spelling variations dumbfuck.
Stranger: Like color.
You: Every word has variations. Most of which are wrong, like humor and color.
Stranger: Hm except each variation is accepted.
Stranger: It’s usually that most people where I live spell those words without a “U,” and it’s obviously opposite for you.
Stranger: Oh yeah, so it’s later where you live, isn’t it your bedtime, got school tomorrow?
You: I have. I need to pick up my shit results.
Stranger: Good luck with that then.
Stranger: When tomorrow comes.
You: Your tomorrow is today today. That’s mad.
Stranger: I’m inclined to agree.
You: At least we agree on something.
Stranger: I think hell might have frozen over then.
Stranger: Check outside and see if there are pigs flying.
You: It’s dark out. I can’t see.
Stranger: Well that sucks for you, it’s light for me so I’ll check.
Stranger: Nope. No flying pigs.
You: Is Hell frozen over?
Stranger: I’m afraid I can’t check that, you might have to do it.
You: I thought you were in Hell? Oh no, it’s just America.
Stranger: Don’t try to hard to insult my homeland, it won’t really do anything. So don’t strain yourself.
Stranger: too*
You: There’s another spelling difference. Here, we don’t call America homeland. We call it Homoland.
Stranger: Haha, that’s a good one.
Stranger: Try to come up with one about how much debt our nation has.
You: America has so much debt, you’d think a monkey was in charge.
Stranger: It’s funny because it’s true!
You: Racist.
Stranger: How so?
You: You said you hope all black people are killed.
Stranger: My bad.
You: Don’t let it happen again.
Stranger: Make one up about how America gets all their t.v show ideas from Britain.
You: America has taken so many TV shows from England, you’d think a monkey was in charge.
You: Callback.
Stranger: Hahaha.
You: Bless you.
Stranger: Thanks.
Stranger: I thought I was going to die.
Stranger: If I DID die while we were talking, you’d never know.
Stranger: You would just disconnect.
Stranger: And I’d be dead on my keyboard.
You: I thought I was going to die once and my whole life flashed before my eyes. It was essentially just history of video games 1995-2011.
Stranger: You’re 15?
You: Yes. I started playing video games when I was 0 years old.
Stranger: So did I!
You: My K/D on Halo was terrible at that age.
You: Especially as Halo never existed then.
Stranger: Hm..why 95′ to 11′?
You: It’s just random. I’ve played older games too so I could have said 1980 to 2011 but that makes me sound old.
Stranger: Only 30
Stranger: If you started at age 0
You: That’s still older than I am.
Stranger: Still not old though.
You: Alright, Granddad.
Stranger: Hahahahah no.
You: Sorry. Do you prefer Grandmother?
Stranger: If it’s the age of someone I’ve had sex with, I don’t consider it old.
You: But you’re a paedophile.
Stranger: I don’t think so.
You: Then why do you dress up as child and masturbate?
Stranger: I don’t dress up like a child.
You: Yes you do, nonce.
Stranger: I wear makeup and skirts sometimes. But how could I dress like a child? I wouldn’t fit.
You: I used to wear children’s clothes and fit perfectly.
Stranger: I think you’re a 16 year old kid that has no life and plays video games in his mother’s basement, in England.
You: I think, despite all that, you’re jealous.
Stranger: Of what may I ask?
You: Of my whole persona.
Stranger: Hm, I’m happy with myself.
Stranger: The only thing I think I could be envious of is that accent.
You: Which accent?
Stranger: The one you have but don’t notice because to you it’s not an accent.
You: It definitely is an accent. I thought you might have meant a Cornwall accent from curmudgeonly Cornwall.
Stranger: Oh really now
You: Yes.
Stranger: “I am the sole arbiter of normality.” You sound boring to me.
You: You’ve had well over an hour to leave if you were bored.
Stranger: I’m just saying.
Stranger: The way you describe yourself is unappealing.
You: How would you describe me? [audience participation]
Stranger: As a cocky teenager who spends too much time alone, and probably doesn’t carry this “persona” with him in his actual life.
You: What actual life?
Stranger: The one that isn’t on omegle.
You: I don’t understand. Not on Omegle?
Stranger: Haa.
Stranger: To be truthful, I don’t think that at all. I actually find you quite entertaining.
You: I’m not going to sleep with you.
Stranger: I’d rather not sleep with you.
Stranger: You’e the one that brought it up.
Stranger: You’re*
You: Why are you being nice if you don’t fancy me, then?
Stranger: Because I’m entertained.
You: Or “teen trained” as I call it. That’s an agram.
Stranger: “Teen trained?”
You: Yep.
Stranger: I’ll assume that you still think me a pedophile then.
You: Yes.
Stranger: That’s funny.
You: Hahahaha.
Stranger: I’m 17 myself, so I technically can’t be one of those until next week.
You: Being a paedo isn’t about age, man. It’s a way of life.
Stranger: Well seeing as you know so much about it then.
You: She said she was 18. I didn’t know she was a foetus.
Stranger: Haah.
You: That’s the sort of laugh only someone who could relate to the joke would do.
Stranger: Oh really?
You: Yes.
Stranger: Well I’m not going to agree.
You: Like the children you proposition.
Stranger: Riiigghht.
You: Bit defensive, I see.
Stranger: Well you see…
You: What do I see?
Stranger: It seems you like to keep bringing up these accusations, so maybe it’s truly you that is the pedo out of the two of us.
You: Yeah. Fair enough. Love ’em.
Stranger: Good going there.
You: Thanks. I’ve never admitted that before.
Stranger: I bet you have a lot of secrets.
You: I just got some orange juice. You’re the first person I ever told.
Stranger: Awesome.
Stranger: I’ll keep your secret.
You: No. It’s my secret. Give it back.
Stranger: No sorry.
You: Thefter.
Stranger: Only sometimes.
Stranger: And if you’re going to call be a theif, say theif, not thefter.
Stranger: me*
You: Thefter is as valid as theif.
Stranger: I say not.
Stranger: I prefer being called a theif, not thefter.
You: I’ll just call you a thief.
Stranger: Thanks.
You: What have you stolen?
Stranger: Your secret.
You: And my heart.
Stranger: No thanks.
You: But I want you, little boy.
Stranger: Nah I’m good.
Stranger: And rather not little.
You: You are so frigid.
Stranger: Thanks.
Stranger: I take that as a compliment.
You: You would do, you virgin.
Stranger: That’s funny.
Stranger: You made me laugh.
You: Laughter to hide your tears?
Stranger: Hahaha.
Stranger: If I had tears I’d use them for lube, not emotions.
You: You’ll never have sex if you don’t cry. Girls like crying.
Stranger: Who ever said I wanted a girl?
You: Sorry. I mean little boy.
Stranger: Not little, big. I prefer big boys.
You: I don’t understand.
Stranger: I don”t dig little boys. More like big boys, men.
You: So… You fancy men? Why? What is that?
Stranger: What is what? I like men. Not a big deal.
You: But where do you put your dick?
Stranger: Where do you think?
You: In the other man’s jap’s eye?
Stranger: I don’t find Japs attractive.
Stranger: Care for another guess? I hardly think you’re so obtuse to not know.
You: I don’t want to think about it. Are you getting off over my discomfort?
Stranger: Why would (n’t) I?
You: Because I’ve just looked up what you do, and I think you might be gay.
Stranger: You had to look it up? I could’ve told you.
You: I wish I had just asked. Those images…
Stranger: You really didn’t pick up on it?
You: You do seem a bit gay.
Stranger: I think more than a bit.
You: Shut up. I don’t want to know.
Stranger: Hahahahahahahahaha
You: You laugh like a gay.
Stranger: Guess what else I do like a gay?
You: You wee sitting down?
Stranger: If I’m wearing a skirt.
You: Which you always do because you are gay.
Stranger: Not all the time.
Stranger: Just sometimes.
You: Anyway, as a homophobe, I feel uncomfortable talking to you now. Bye, gay.
Stranger: Have a nice time then, I feel it strange that you didn’t pick up on it. Especially when I admitted to wearing woman’s clothes.
Stranger: A long time ago.
You: I thought you were taking the piss.
Stranger: Bye now ;)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello. I’m male.
Stranger: im female
You: I’ve never spoken to one of you before.
Stranger: really?
You: Maybe a few times.
Stranger: hahah ok
You: From where are you?
Stranger: california u?
You: England.
Stranger: cool
Stranger: i want to go there one day
You: Why?
Stranger: because i’ve never been there and idk what its like
You: It’s similar to America.
Stranger: hmmm….. ok
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 16 how old are u?
You: 18. You are so young.
Stranger: just 2 years younger than u
You: You’re still practically a baby, though.
Stranger: hahha y do u say that?
You: You have only recently been born.
Stranger: haha not really its been 16 years
You: How many people have you had sex with, then?
Stranger: … none
You: Then you’re practically a baby.
Stranger: hahah hbu?
You: 1, and that was a baby.
Stranger: really ? how old was she?
You: 16.
Stranger: how old were u?
You: 20.
Stranger: how old are u now?
You: 18. I was just testing you. I was 16.
Stranger: hahah ok
Stranger: i was confused for a sec
You: Confused for a sex? You’re female.
Stranger: haha i know that
You: You do look a bit like a man, though.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.