Omegle

Stranger: Disconnect me
You: Why?
Stranger: I want to do the spy thing and I can’t get it
You: Disconnect yourself.
Stranger: No, you
You: No you hang up first.
Stranger: No you
You: Don’t make me come over there.
Stranger: YOU disconnect ME
You: No, gay.
Stranger: I take that in offense.
Stranger: Disconnect me
You: OK.
Stranger: FUCK
Stranger: Do it.
You: I’m about to do it.
Stranger: Stop taking your time and DO IT DAMN IT.
You: I almost did it then.
Stranger: FUCK YOOOU
You: I’m not going to do it now.
Stranger: I bet if you did disconnect me, it wouldn’t let me do the spy thing because of your bad attitude.
You: You’re the dick who can’t click a fucking button.
Stranger: I did, like a million times, and it didn’t work.
You: Then you’re an idiot.
Stranger: It didn’t give me the option.
Stranger: To do the spy thing.
You: Your best bet would be to try to get someone else to disconnect.
Stranger: I don’t like your attitude.
Stranger: Fix it.
You: Will you have sex with me if I do?
Stranger: Sure.
You: Gay.
Stranger: Ha.
You: Bless you.
Stranger: Didn’t your mother ever teach you manners?
You: She said manners only matter when one is talking to girl that one is trying to impress.
Stranger: Oh, so does that make you a lesbian then?
You: No. Why would it?
Stranger: If you’re talking to a girl and trying to impress her. It just makes sense that you’d be a lesbian. Why else would you try to impress her?
You: I understand that logic, but there are two key elements to lesbianism.
Stranger: And?
You: Do you know what they are?
Stranger: What ar- wait, lesbianism?
Stranger: Haha.
You: Yes. What two things does a person have to be to be a lesbian?
Stranger: I think there are more than two but okay.
Stranger: They have to be female, and be attracted to a female.
You: Well done. You’re learning.
Stranger: I assumed you were female.
Stranger: Hah.
Stranger: So it didn’t backfire on me.
You: Do you want to see a picture of my balls to prove I am male?
Stranger: Only if you want to see mine.
You: What? I thought you were female.
Stranger: Haha.
You: This is better than the spy thing, isn’t it?
Stranger: Haha
Stranger: Yes
Stranger: Now I admitted that you’ll probably disconnect.
You: No. I like the company.
Stranger: Sweetness.
You: http://img535.imageshack.us/img535/2112/ballsr.jpg
Stranger: Hah it says balls in the link.
You: Yes. They are my balls. Look at them.
Stranger: No
You: Are you afraid you’ll like them?
Stranger: A picture doesn’t prove they’re yours.
You: They are, though.
Stranger: Nah
You: Fair enough. They are very disgusting.
Stranger: Haha
You: How are your balls?
Stranger: They’re fine thanks for asking.
You: Producing enough semen and everything?
Stranger: Yeah,
Stranger: Production has actually been up, this past week.
You: Wanker?
Stranger: Yuh.
You: What’s your record in one day?
Stranger: It’s bad luck to keep track
You: Lightweight.
Stranger: Oh and you’re a heavyweight
You: I can cum loads.
Stranger: Awesome for you.
You: Once I had a dream and I came in the kitchen and it went up into the corner.
Stranger: I’m having trouble understanding
You: It’s an easy sentence.
Stranger: You came because of the dream, or you came in the kitchen, in the dream.
You: I came in the dream.
Stranger: No so easy for me. I’m an idiot remember :)
You: Oh yes. You don’t know how to click a button.
Stranger: Right.
Stranger: I thought we established this was better.
You: Not for me. I wanted cybersex and got you instead.
Stranger: Haha
Stranger: Wouldn’t it be funny if I was really a girl?
You: That would make me feel better for wanking over this conversation.
Stranger: I am a girl.
You: So am I.
Stranger: Sweet.
Stranger: But I want to be a guy so I’m reverting back to that now.
You: You’ve got issues.
Stranger: All guys have issues.
Stranger: Yours are worse than mine though.
You: How do you know about my issues?
Stranger: I can see through your typing.
You: What are my issues?
Stranger: You know.
Stranger: Why do you say I have issues?
You: You are a man pretending to be a woman pretending to be a man. That’s weird.
Stranger: Hahaha.
Stranger: Not as weird as you believing it.
You: If you’re not a man being a woman being a man, what are you?
Stranger: Just a man.
You: You were being a woman earlier, pervert.
Stranger: I just said I was a girl, then said I wasn’t. Doesn’t mean I was.
You: I bet you dress up like a little girl, don’t you?
Stranger: It was like two sentences, that’s hardly being a pervert.
Stranger: Not a little girl, that would be weird.
You: Weird suits you.
Stranger: You know what…I think you’re right. But that’s just your idea of weird.
You: I am the sole arbiter of normality.
Stranger: And no, not little girl. I may be odd to you, but I’m no pedo.
Stranger: Normality? and what is that to you?
You: Rob Crane.
Stranger: And who would that be.
You: The most normal and mediocre person alive.
Stranger: Oh that’s probably why I don’t know who he is.
You: It’s a she.
Stranger: Oh cool.
Stranger: Oh that’s probably why I don’t know who she is.
You: Why aren’t you asleep?
Stranger: I don’t like sleep.
You: What about when you are tired?
Stranger: Then I sleep.
You: Once I went 12 hours without sleeping.
Stranger: Bravo.
You: Thanks.
Stranger: I bet you live with your parents.
You: No. I don’t.
Stranger: Oh? You’re a big boy?
You: Yes. I just live with my Mum.
Stranger: Ah.
You: Bless you.
Stranger: You never let me finish.
You: What do you mean?
Stranger: This is why we can’t go nice places.
You: The reason we can’t go nice places is because I never leave the house.
Stranger: Hmm
Stranger: I am going to say that you are from the European region.
You: Yes. It was a 50/50 chance.
Stranger: I derived that conclusion from you saying mum instead of mom, and wanking instead of jacking off.
You: “Mom”? How do you spell Dad? “Did”?
Stranger: Dad is the same.
You: Dad is the same as Mum in your household, judging by your fetish.
Stranger: Haha.
Stranger: Just because I like to crossdress doesn’t mean anything of the sort.
You: I tried crossdressing once. The crucifix looked nice with a jacket on.
Stranger: I don’t follow
You: Do they have jokes in America?
Stranger: Nobody here has a sense od humor.
Stranger: of*
You: Nor a sense of spelling, it would seem.
Stranger: I just don’t understand the crucifix being mentioned. And I’m not the only one that has hit the wrong key.
You: Humour has more letters in that you wrote. I won’t bother explaining the joke.
Stranger: Good.
You: Maybe when you’re older.
Stranger: Humor is a word with spelling variations dumbfuck.
Stranger: Like color.
You: Every word has variations. Most of which are wrong, like humor and color.
Stranger: Hm except each variation is accepted.
Stranger: It’s usually that most people where I live spell those words without a “U,” and it’s obviously opposite for you.
Stranger: Oh yeah, so it’s later where you live, isn’t it your bedtime, got school tomorrow?
You: I have. I need to pick up my shit results.
Stranger: Good luck with that then.
Stranger: When tomorrow comes.
You: Your tomorrow is today today. That’s mad.
Stranger: I’m inclined to agree.
You: At least we agree on something.
Stranger: I think hell might have frozen over then.
Stranger: Check outside and see if there are pigs flying.
You: It’s dark out. I can’t see.
Stranger: Well that sucks for you, it’s light for me so I’ll check.
Stranger: Nope. No flying pigs.
You: Is Hell frozen over?
Stranger: I’m afraid I can’t check that, you might have to do it.
You: I thought you were in Hell? Oh no, it’s just America.
Stranger: Don’t try to hard to insult my homeland, it won’t really do anything. So don’t strain yourself.
Stranger: too*
You: There’s another spelling difference. Here, we don’t call America homeland. We call it Homoland.
Stranger: Haha, that’s a good one.
Stranger: Try to come up with one about how much debt our nation has.
You: America has so much debt, you’d think a monkey was in charge.
Stranger: It’s funny because it’s true!
You: Racist.
Stranger: How so?
You: You said you hope all black people are killed.
Stranger: My bad.
You: Don’t let it happen again.
Stranger: Make one up about how America gets all their t.v show ideas from Britain.
You: America has taken so many TV shows from England, you’d think a monkey was in charge.
You: Callback.
Stranger: Hahaha.
You: Bless you.
Stranger: Thanks.
Stranger: I thought I was going to die.
Stranger: If I DID die while we were talking, you’d never know.
Stranger: You would just disconnect.
Stranger: And I’d be dead on my keyboard.
You: I thought I was going to die once and my whole life flashed before my eyes. It was essentially just history of video games 1995-2011.
Stranger: You’re 15?
You: Yes. I started playing video games when I was 0 years old.
Stranger: So did I!
You: My K/D on Halo was terrible at that age.
You: Especially as Halo never existed then.
Stranger: Hm..why 95′ to 11′?
You: It’s just random. I’ve played older games too so I could have said 1980 to 2011 but that makes me sound old.
Stranger: Only 30
Stranger: If you started at age 0
You: That’s still older than I am.
Stranger: Still not old though.
You: Alright, Granddad.
Stranger: Hahahahah no.
You: Sorry. Do you prefer Grandmother?
Stranger: If it’s the age of someone I’ve had sex with, I don’t consider it old.
You: But you’re a paedophile.
Stranger: I don’t think so.
You: Then why do you dress up as child and masturbate?
Stranger: I don’t dress up like a child.
You: Yes you do, nonce.
Stranger: I wear makeup and skirts sometimes. But how could I dress like a child? I wouldn’t fit.
You: I used to wear children’s clothes and fit perfectly.
Stranger: I think you’re a 16 year old kid that has no life and plays video games in his mother’s basement, in England.
You: I think, despite all that, you’re jealous.
Stranger: Of what may I ask?
You: Of my whole persona.
Stranger: Hm, I’m happy with myself.
Stranger: The only thing I think I could be envious of is that accent.
You: Which accent?
Stranger: The one you have but don’t notice because to you it’s not an accent.
You: It definitely is an accent. I thought you might have meant a Cornwall accent from curmudgeonly Cornwall.
Stranger: Oh really now
You: Yes.
Stranger: “I am the sole arbiter of normality.” You sound boring to me.
You: You’ve had well over an hour to leave if you were bored.
Stranger: I’m just saying.
Stranger: The way you describe yourself is unappealing.
You: How would you describe me? [audience participation]
Stranger: As a cocky teenager who spends too much time alone, and probably doesn’t carry this “persona” with him in his actual life.
You: What actual life?
Stranger: The one that isn’t on omegle.
You: I don’t understand. Not on Omegle?
Stranger: Haa.
Stranger: To be truthful, I don’t think that at all. I actually find you quite entertaining.
You: I’m not going to sleep with you.
Stranger: I’d rather not sleep with you.
Stranger: You’e the one that brought it up.
Stranger: You’re*
You: Why are you being nice if you don’t fancy me, then?
Stranger: Because I’m entertained.
You: Or “teen trained” as I call it. That’s an agram.
Stranger: “Teen trained?”
You: Yep.
Stranger: I’ll assume that you still think me a pedophile then.
You: Yes.
Stranger: That’s funny.
You: Hahahaha.
Stranger: I’m 17 myself, so I technically can’t be one of those until next week.
You: Being a paedo isn’t about age, man. It’s a way of life.
Stranger: Well seeing as you know so much about it then.
You: She said she was 18. I didn’t know she was a foetus.
Stranger: Haah.
You: That’s the sort of laugh only someone who could relate to the joke would do.
Stranger: Oh really?
You: Yes.
Stranger: Well I’m not going to agree.
You: Like the children you proposition.
Stranger: Riiigghht.
You: Bit defensive, I see.
Stranger: Well you see…
You: What do I see?
Stranger: It seems you like to keep bringing up these accusations, so maybe it’s truly you that is the pedo out of the two of us.
You: Yeah. Fair enough. Love ’em.
Stranger: Good going there.
You: Thanks. I’ve never admitted that before.
Stranger: I bet you have a lot of secrets.
You: I just got some orange juice. You’re the first person I ever told.
Stranger: Awesome.
Stranger: I’ll keep your secret.
You: No. It’s my secret. Give it back.
Stranger: No sorry.
You: Thefter.
Stranger: Only sometimes.
Stranger: And if you’re going to call be a theif, say theif, not thefter.
Stranger: me*
You: Thefter is as valid as theif.
Stranger: I say not.
Stranger: I prefer being called a theif, not thefter.
You: I’ll just call you a thief.
Stranger: Thanks.
You: What have you stolen?
Stranger: Your secret.
You: And my heart.
Stranger: No thanks.
You: But I want you, little boy.
Stranger: Nah I’m good.
Stranger: And rather not little.
You: You are so frigid.
Stranger: Thanks.
Stranger: I take that as a compliment.
You: You would do, you virgin.
Stranger: That’s funny.
Stranger: You made me laugh.
You: Laughter to hide your tears?
Stranger: Hahaha.
Stranger: If I had tears I’d use them for lube, not emotions.
You: You’ll never have sex if you don’t cry. Girls like crying.
Stranger: Who ever said I wanted a girl?
You: Sorry. I mean little boy.
Stranger: Not little, big. I prefer big boys.
You: I don’t understand.
Stranger: I don”t dig little boys. More like big boys, men.
You: So… You fancy men? Why? What is that?
Stranger: What is what? I like men. Not a big deal.
You: But where do you put your dick?
Stranger: Where do you think?
You: In the other man’s jap’s eye?
Stranger: I don’t find Japs attractive.
Stranger: Care for another guess? I hardly think you’re so obtuse to not know.
You: I don’t want to think about it. Are you getting off over my discomfort?
Stranger: Why would (n’t) I?
You: Because I’ve just looked up what you do, and I think you might be gay.
Stranger: You had to look it up? I could’ve told you.
You: I wish I had just asked. Those images…
Stranger: You really didn’t pick up on it?
You: You do seem a bit gay.
Stranger: I think more than a bit.
You: Shut up. I don’t want to know.
Stranger: Hahahahahahahahaha
You: You laugh like a gay.
Stranger: Guess what else I do like a gay?
You: You wee sitting down?
Stranger: If I’m wearing a skirt.
You: Which you always do because you are gay.
Stranger: Not all the time.
Stranger: Just sometimes.
You: Anyway, as a homophobe, I feel uncomfortable talking to you now. Bye, gay.
Stranger: Have a nice time then, I feel it strange that you didn’t pick up on it. Especially when I admitted to wearing woman’s clothes.
Stranger: A long time ago.
You: I thought you were taking the piss.
Stranger: Bye now ;)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello. I’m male.
Stranger: im female
You: I’ve never spoken to one of you before.
Stranger: really?
You: Maybe a few times.
Stranger: hahah ok
You: From where are you?
Stranger: california u?
You: England.
Stranger: cool
Stranger: i want to go there one day
You: Why?
Stranger: because i’ve never been there and idk what its like
You: It’s similar to America.
Stranger: hmmm….. ok
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 16 how old are u?
You: 18. You are so young.
Stranger: just 2 years younger than u
You: You’re still practically a baby, though.
Stranger: hahha y do u say that?
You: You have only recently been born.
Stranger: haha not really its been 16 years
You: How many people have you had sex with, then?
Stranger: … none
You: Then you’re practically a baby.
Stranger: hahah hbu?
You: 1, and that was a baby.
Stranger: really ? how old was she?
You: 16.
Stranger: how old were u?
You: 20.
Stranger: how old are u now?
You: 18. I was just testing you. I was 16.
Stranger: hahah ok
Stranger: i was confused for a sec
You: Confused for a sex? You’re female.
Stranger: haha i know that
You: You do look a bit like a man, though.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Helllo.
Stranger: Hello.
You: Who are you?
Stranger: My names Elizabeth, and yourself?
You: I am the funk soul brother. Check me out now.
Stranger: And why should I?
You: Because that’s how it goes. From where are you?
Stranger: Kentucky.
You: How do you like your chicken?
Stranger: Why does everyone seem to ask that when I say I’m from Kentucky. You do know, not everyone eats chicken, nor do they eat Kentucky Fried Chicken.
You: What perverts eat chicken? I was just asking how you showed appreciation for your pet chicken.
Stranger: And also, just because I’m from Kentucky, doesn’t mean that I live out in the country living in a house on a farm. That’s rare that you’ll find them where I live. I do not own a chicken thank you.
You: What peverts don’t own a chicken?
Stranger: A lot of them.
You: How old are you, Zaby?
Stranger: I am in the age of teenage years. I am sixteen..
You: OK, grandma.
Stranger: Seriously, are you really going to be immature?
You: Yes I’m.
Stranger: Well alright then. I will be leaving, since you have seemed to piss me off. Goodbye, and nice chatting with you.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello.
Stranger: hey
You: Who are you?
Stranger: im a duck. who are you?
You: You’re a dick, more like.
Stranger: uhm, no… im actually a really nice guy, apparently =)
You: You sound gay to me.
Stranger: im not
You: I’m not judging you.
Stranger: good
You: It’s fine to be gay.
Stranger: i suppose… i wouldnt know
You: Don’t worry. Got a boyfriend?
Stranger: no
Stranger: im a dude
Stranger: and im not gay
You: Why are you so defensive about it?
Stranger: im not, people just often say that
Stranger: and i have a headache
You: Have you been sucking too much cock?
Stranger: fuck you
You: I bet you’d like to, wouldn’t you?
Stranger: fucking troller
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Good morning.
Stranger: whats the shortest masturbation session you have had to orgasm?
You: 12 seconds.
Stranger: be forreal?
You: From the point of touching to ejaculation.
Stranger: so u were already hard and just pumped like 4 times and came
You: Pretty much.
Stranger: how old are u
You: 18 years young. Why do you want to know, gay boy?
Stranger: lol im not gay just bored lol
You: What’s your fastest?
Stranger: i mean its not really an offensive question
Stranger: minute 30
You: I think you may be frigid if it takes you that long.
Stranger: lol how old were u when u did that
Stranger: and well i mean i guess i have in like 30 seconds
You: Don’t lie. I was probably about 15.
Stranger: dont lie im being truthful no less than that
Stranger: i mean i couldnt make myself do it any faster than that
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 19
You: You need to get laid.
Stranger: lol have been
You: Sure you have.
Stranger: i sure have
You: Your hand doesn’t count.
Stranger: i know lol my gf back when i was 16 does though
You: Only one girl?
Stranger: no like 4
You: Yeah, virgin.
Stranger: ok believe what u want bro
You: Only a virgin would say that.
Stranger: lol no a virgin wouldnt
You: But you would.
Stranger: haha yeah because im not a virgin
You: Whatever, Mr Tracy.
You: Mr Virgil Tracy.
Stranger: lol
You: Mr Virgil Virgin Motherfucking Tracy.
Stranger: ur cracking me up
You: I bet you like me up your crack, you gay.
Stranger: lol ok homo
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Question to discuss:
Show me your boobs!
You: OK.
Stranger: OK
You: Echo.
Stranger: (.)(.)
You: I just came.
Stranger: 8============D
You: That’s gay.
Stranger: 8============D~~~~~
Stranger: only if oyu like it.
Stranger: *you
You: I don’t.
Stranger: then it’s not gay.
You: Are you gay?
Stranger: BESIDES, THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING GAY.
Stranger: and no.
You: Being gay is sinful.
Stranger: how do you figure?
You: The Bible says “He who sleeps with another man is gay” Quentin 9:36.
Stranger: It also says you can’t shave.
You: I don’t.
Stranger: Or have sex before marriage.
You: I don’t do either. I’m only 12.
Stranger: Or pierce anyhting
Stranger: LOL, 12.
Stranger: Once you’re 16, you’ll understand that being gay isn’t an issue.
You: Being gay is gay.
Stranger: Unless you live in the south.
You: Like Australia?
Stranger: and then you’re going to be a conservative dumbass.
Stranger: nah
Stranger: south like the southern part of the US
You: South America?
Stranger: no.
Stranger: The southern states.
Stranger: Texas, Louisiana, etc.
You: I’ve not heard of those countries.
Stranger: STATES.
You: They’re not very nice?
Stranger: nah, bro.
Stranger: they fail at life.
You: Racist.
Stranger: lol, not even.
Stranger: Most of them are white, JUST LIKE ME.
Stranger: they just have shitty points of view.
Stranger: you’re boring.
Stranger: I’m outtie.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: v
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Good morning.
Stranger: morning ^^
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: nothin
You: You are disgusting. What if a child sees your nudity?
Stranger: oh, no no im not fully nude im wearing underwear its late and im in bed covered up
You: It’s not late. It’s morning. Where are you? Space?
Stranger: im in virginia its night here
You: Surely it’s only about 8:30?
Stranger: no 6:31 pm
You: And that’s late? Are you one years old?
Stranger: no im 14 i just wanted to lay down.
You: Why don’t you have a kip?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello.
Stranger: hey
Stranger: horny boy?
You: Yes. You?
Stranger: no
Stranger: im a girl looking to chat cuz im bored
You: Chat about what?
Stranger: idk anything really
Stranger: as long as its not about sex
You: What is your favourite type of sex?
Stranger: ok what did i just say?
You: Something about shoes?
Stranger: uhhh
You: Bless you.
Stranger: i didnt sneeze
You: Sorry. I thought you did.
Stranger: ok whatever
Stranger: so how exactly did u get horny?
You: I was born male.
Stranger: right
Stranger: do u think 12 year ol boys r horny too?
You: I was.
Stranger: 13?
You: I was.
Stranger: 1?
You: Probably not.
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: 10?
You: Maybe.
Stranger: 11?
You: What the fuck is this?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello.
Stranger: hey
You: Hey, gay, as I always say.
Stranger: hahah really?
You: No.
Stranger: what do you say then? ha
You: I usually just say “horny f?”
Stranger: hahah well i got the f.. could go either way with the horny part
Stranger: you?
You: 18. Male. England.
Stranger: cool
You: You?
Stranger: 21 f usa
You: You are an old lady.
Stranger: hahah sorry..
You: It’s not your fault. It’s your parents I have the issue with.
Stranger: ah of course
You: What brings you to Omegle?
Stranger: bored as fuck haha
Stranger: you?
You: Bored of fuck
You: ing. Coz I is a playa.
Stranger: hahahah
Stranger: nice
You: What do you do in life?
Stranger: student
Stranger: you?
You: Unemployed.
Stranger: cool cool
You: What do you study?
Stranger: physics
You: What’s that?
Stranger: likee…. the way stuff works haha
You: That’ll do. Can you get a career in physics?
Stranger: engineering…
You: What kind do you want to be?
Stranger: dont know yet
You: You women just can’t make your minds up.
Stranger: exactly the problem
You: Word on the street is: all the money is in the petrol industry.
Stranger: hmmm i better get on that then
You: If you make lots of money, half of it is rightly mine for telling you.
Stranger: well, naturally
You: You got a boyfriend?
Stranger: nope
You: Lesbian.
Stranger: haha nope
You: Why don’t you have a boyfriend?
Stranger: just dont hah
You: Do you only have half your limbs or something?
Stranger: i actually just have the one arm… im typing with one hand here
You: I’m typing with one arm now at the thought of that.
Stranger: hahahah
You: Where in the US are you?
Stranger: ca
You: Nice. I have been there.
Stranger: cool
Stranger: where you at in england?
You: London.
Stranger: sweet
Stranger: never been
You: Feel free to stay in my bed with me if you ever visit.
Stranger: hahah perfect, now i got a place to stay
You: And I have a place to visit, if you catch my drift.
Stranger: hahahha gotcha
You: Why are you awake so late/early?
Stranger: bored, cant sleep
Stranger: haha
Stranger: drinking earlier
You: Have a heroin. That should make you tired.
Stranger: damn, just ran out
You: If your heroin has started running away, you need less LSD.
Stranger: either that or i should put some more bolts on the door
You: That way, you won’t get people like me coming in and taking advantage of a drunk you.
Stranger: hahah well maybe i should leave them off then
You: Whore.
Stranger: hahah my bad
You: I’m not complaining.
Stranger: hahah alright
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: usual sleepwear haha t shirt and shorts
You: Very nice.
Stranger: i guess ha
You: I didn’t sleep last night either.
Stranger: whys that?
You: I wanted to complete Portal II in one sitting.
Stranger: whats that?
You: A video game.
Stranger: ohhh cool
You: Do you like games?
Stranger: i like them, but i dont know anything about them… i play when others around me are playing
You: What do you do with your free time?
Stranger: read, hang around and bullshit hah
You: I wish I could read.
Stranger: yeah it would make things like omegle much more interesting
Stranger: just a bunch of gibberish now
You: If I’ve made any sense at all it’s purely by pineapple.
Stranger: ahh that lucky yellow fruit, always helping ya out
You: Do you like pineapples?
Stranger: depends
You: On what?
Stranger: i dont eat it by itself.. but i like pineapple flavored stuff
You: What about pineapple flavoured fruit?
Stranger: no way
Stranger: thats just pushing it too far
You: Pushing a pineapple too far can cause serious pain.
Stranger: dont i know it
You: I would have liked to see that.
Stranger: hahah right
You: What are you doing now?
Stranger: chilling in bed haha
You: Have another blanket if you’re cold.
Stranger: hahah dont worry i got that taken care of
Stranger: its actually hot as hell here right now
You: I can imagine.
Stranger: mmhmmm
You: Seen any good films lately?
Stranger: nope, havent been to the movies in awhile
Stranger: how bout you?
You: I don’t watch many films.
Stranger: thats fair
You: Like a theme park or my skin.
Stranger: unless theres rides involved, ide have to go with the skin
You: There are rides involved with both options.
Stranger: oh ok well then either way
Stranger: haha
You: Got any plans for tomorrow?
Stranger: nope
Stranger: sleeping in
You: Lazy students, sponging off the system and wasting taxpayers’ money.
Stranger: yeah and dont even get me started about those square pants they wear
You: And their round shirts or triangular blouses.
Stranger: too geometrical these days
You: Every day is like a Dali picture.
Stranger: whoa mind blown
You: Don’t hold your hairdryer so close to your ear.
Stranger: especially not in the bathtub
You: Unless you’re going for a frizzy afro.
Stranger: oh you know i am
You: Do you want to come to England and have sex with me tonight?
Stranger: hahah what if i was already on my way
You: I would commend your efficiency.
Stranger: why thank you
You: You are very welcome.
Stranger: hahah
You: Nice palindrome.
Stranger: a nut for a jar of tuna
You: I’m a tuba, but am I?
Stranger: hahah nice
You: I made that one myself. Impressed?
Stranger: so very impressed
You: You know what they say, wordplay’s the same as swordplay but in a different order and with less bloodshed.
Stranger: hahahah never eard that one either
You: That’s because it’s a terrible sentence.
Stranger: hahahah no i liked it
You: Then why don’t you marry it?
Stranger: were actually working through tthe divorice process now
Stranger: its rough
You: I’m sorry to hear that. If you need any help getting through this tough time, I’m always here to help you relieve sexual tension.
Stranger: good to hear
Stranger: i was considering going with the previous sentence for that sex counseling but youll do as well
You: Don’t mention sex council. It reminds me of that time I was tried for rape.
Stranger: ohhhh shit
Stranger: my bad
Stranger: it wont happen again?
You: Not if they consent this time.
Stranger: ill give them the heads up on that one
You: It’s actually best to keep your head down if you know I’m cumming.
Stranger: right
Stranger: duhhh
You: Bless you.
Stranger: i prefer gazuntight
You: I like my gays tight too.
Stranger: hahah right
You: Are you tired yet?
Stranger: not in the slightest
Stranger: you?
You: Surprisingly not.
Stranger: cool cool
You: Said the eskimo in his echoing igloo.
Stranger: he shouldve consulted the sound experts before construction
You: Or he should just buy a house like normal people.
Stranger: we cant rush him
Stranger: let him come in his own time
You: You can’t rush a wank.
Stranger: ill keep that in mind
You: Good.
Stranger: sooo wassup??
You: The opposite of down. It’s a very simple word.
Stranger: mmm clearly i gotta brush up on my dr. suess
You: He’ll be a lucky man to have you brushing up against him.
Stranger: lets hope he doesnt object
You: I really don’t think he would.
Stranger: cool as long as i have to go-ahead from you
You: I can’t really stop you, because I am weak and you could probably beat me in a fight.
Stranger: what makes you say that? haha
You: I tried to a chin-up this morning. I couldn’t even do it.
Stranger: hahah well keep trying, maybe you can beat me someday
You: I’d certainly like to try.
Stranger: we’ll have to arrange that then
You: Do you like getting tied to a bed and spanked by someone who looks like a fat Milky Bar kid?
Stranger: depends… would i get milky bars as well? haha
You: It wouldn’t exactly be milk…
Stranger: hahah but would it taste good?
You: It depends on whether or not you like the taste of semen.
Stranger: what do you think?
You: You seem like a massive whore, so I’d say yes.
Stranger: hahah well the massive whore may be a bit of an exaggeration… the alcohol may have something to do with that
Stranger: but guess i could have the milk every once in a while if the situation arises
You: I like normal milk. Do you?
Stranger: 2%’s my thing
You: Me too, but I bought a 4% the other day and that was lovely.
Stranger: whooaaa we dont have anythign bigger than whole milk here
You: 4% is whole milk.
Stranger: oh
Stranger: my bad
Stranger: haha
You: I think it should go up to about 20%. If I ever make milk, it will go up to 20% fat.
Stranger: whoa, dreaming big over there
You: Mummy, mummy, when I grow up, I want to have cow and make fattening milk with it.
Stranger: such ambitions…
You: It’s only a pipe dream.
Stranger: unfortunate
You: Yep. It’s a shame.
Stranger: well when i get rich on that petrol idea ill make sur eyou get all the cows you need for your milk
You: Good callback. Then we can team up and make petrol cows.
Stranger: well be unstoppable
You: Unless there’s an outbreak of foot and piston disease.
Stranger: well be sure to keep that real hush hush then
Stranger: sweep it under the table
You: Like the dust and dead bodies.
Stranger: well there ya go letting out more secrets… thats exactly the kind of thing youre gonna have to control if we wanna make it to the top
You: I want to make it to your top and then go under it.
Stranger: you may have to talk to HR about that.. dont know how they feel about intercompany relations
You: I’m the HR around these parts, and I’ll be the HR around your parts too if you’re lucky.
Stranger: hahaha i can only hope
You: Or you could not hope and be replused by the idea like most other females.
Stranger: ehh doubt that
You: I don’t actually know. I’ve never spoken to a girl in real life.
Stranger: not true, i seem to remember you asking your mom for a nice cow earlier
You: Okay, Miss Memory, but she’s not really a girl.
Stranger: she was once
Stranger: and thats mrs. memory to you, i told you about my whole debacle with the sentence-divorce
You: Sorry, Mrs. Memory.
Stranger: thanks
You: What’s your first name?
Stranger: molly
Stranger: yours?
You: Lydon.
Stranger: cool
You: I used to know a girl called Molly.
Stranger: thought you didnt speak to girls?
You: I didn’t think my story through. Nowadays, I don’t often speak to girls.
Stranger: alright, story amended
Stranger: although not entirely correct, seeing as how youre talking to one now
You: You might really be man.
Stranger: damn, you got my secret
Stranger: although i have a feeling a man named molly would be ridiculed immensely on the playground
You: Were you ridiculed immensely on the playground?
You: I need to go now.
You: The connection has disconnected, which is very annoying.

You: Hello.
Stranger: asl?
You: 18. Male. England.
Stranger: bi?
You: Are you going?
Stranger: ?
You: You just said bye.
Stranger: bisexual
You: No, I don’t want to buy sex from you.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hello
You: Good morning.
Stranger: morning?
Stranger: where are you??
You: England.
Stranger: certainly its still the eve
You: It is here. I though it might be morning where you are.
Stranger: why you think that?
You: I’m a gambling man.
Stranger: fell, Im afraid Ill have to dissapoint you
Stranger: good sir
You: From where are you?
Stranger: tis 22:56 here
Stranger: :p
Stranger: Dublin
You: Is that near Ireland?
Stranger: :|
You: I’ll take that as a no. How old are you?
Stranger: ……its the capital of Ireland
You: That’s Belfast, silly.
Stranger: *facepalm*
Stranger: Republic of Ireland!!!
Stranger: the real Ireland!
You: It’s all the same, though.
Stranger: WHAT????
You: Ireland is just one big lump.
Stranger: lol, no I know youre just fucking with me
You: Yes. Of course I know Ireland is on two islands.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: ok, lets end the jokes
Stranger: how old are you?
You: 18 years young.
Stranger: im 19
Stranger: and I know you know that Dublin is the capital of Ireland
Stranger: also that its part of Republic of Ireland
You: I can’t quite recall the name Dublin.
Stranger: and Belfast is the capital of Northern Ireland, which is part of the UK
Stranger: and Ireland is one island
Stranger: also it is not a lump
You: So is Ireland the same as Wales?
Stranger: …
Stranger: yes
Stranger: yes it is
You: And you come from Southern Island?
Stranger: no
Stranger: I come from Ukraine
Stranger: now we have a twist in the plot
You: Is the Ukraine the local name for Scotland because it is the rainy part of the UK?
Stranger: lol
Stranger: yeah sure
Stranger: come down there once in a while
Stranger: on Tuesdays we parade around naked on the streets
Stranger: its tradition
You: Niiiiice. I will go down and visit you sometime.
Stranger: you should
You: Are you male or inferior?
Stranger: I am male
You: I’m not gay.
Stranger: neither am I
You: You are. What brings you to Omegle, gay?
Stranger: ……
Stranger: hmmm
You: Have you just cum?
Stranger: affirmative
Stranger: u mad?
You: No. It turns me on.
You: I’m not gay, though.
Stranger: yeah, sure youre not
Stranger: problem?
You: I’ll have sex with you and not enjoy it to prove I am not gay.
Stranger: I would hit you very hard if you come close to me in pursuit of sex
You: You are a homophone.
Stranger: meh
Stranger: whatever you want to call it
Stranger: I know what I am
You: A big fat gay.
Stranger: and Im too lazy to prove
Stranger: yeah sure
Stranger: im that
Stranger: what about you
Stranger: what are you?
You: I am not a homophone but I’m not gay.
Stranger: go on
You: I am straight – sorry to disappoint you.
Stranger: im fine
Stranger: go on
You: That’s all.
Stranger: youre a boring individual
You: Yes.
Stranger: finally we agree on something together
You: You can leave any time you want.
Stranger: I suppose I could
You: But I think you fancy me.
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: ;)
You: Don’t do that.
Stranger: what?
Stranger: this?
Stranger: ;)
You: I don’t like that.
Stranger: yes you do
Stranger: ;)
Stranger: me gusta!
You: I might like it, but I won’t say.
Stranger: ..
Stranger: ok
Stranger: :(
You: That’s a better face because I hate you.
Stranger: you know you love me
Stranger: dont deny it
Stranger: we connected during this conversation
You: At the start.
Stranger: in fact, I think you’re pregnant
You: No, I’m just fat.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: go do some exercise
Stranger: and eat less junk
You: I’ll move tomorrow.
Stranger: you better
You: Got a boyfriend?
Stranger: I have a gf
You: A gay fag?
Stranger: girl
Stranger: friend
You: Gay.
You: Fag.
Stranger: oook
Stranger: im leaving now
Stranger: been a pleasure
You: She looks like a man anyway.
Stranger: adios fag
You: Bye, sexy.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello. I’m male.
Stranger: hey, ask me anything
Stranger: I’m also male
Stranger: wanna have a non-sexual conversation?
You: Are you a big fat gay?
Stranger: nope
You: Do you like sex?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: who doesn’t?
You: From my experience, all girls don’t want to have sex.
Stranger: you’re a virgin?
You: No.
Stranger: so a rapist then
You: She would have consented.
Stranger: would have?
Stranger: why didn’t she?
You: Her throat was slit.
Stranger: then you’re a virgin
Stranger: dead chicks don’t count
You: Yes they do.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Good morning.
Stranger: hey:)
Stranger: erm it’s the night?
Stranger: well evening
You: Where are you?
Stranger: uk :L
You: Where is that?
Stranger: erm england?
You: Never heard of it.
Stranger: omg where are you from?
You: London.
Stranger: what the hell
You: Have you heard of it?
Stranger: erm thats in england!
You: I don’t think it is.
Stranger: erm it’s
Stranger: it the capital
Stranger: *it’s
You: I got a C on GCSE geography so I should know. It isn’t.
Stranger: it is you freak.. well i think they mark your paper wrong
You: No need to call me a freak. I’m not that ugly.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Good morning.
Stranger: it’s night here.
You: No it isn’t.
Stranger: yeah it is. it’s 0:51.
You: That is morning.
Stranger: No. Night.
You: Are you in Germany?
Stranger: Denmark.
You: Same.
Stranger: Right above Germany.
You: They are all the same.
Stranger: Nope. Not really. If you where from Denmark, you would understand this:
Stranger: N

Stranger: WWWYKI.
You: Hey, sexy.
Stranger: Hey.
You: Who are you?
Stranger: Who am I? Who are YOU?
You: I asked first.
Stranger: I asked second. First is the worst, second is the best.
Stranger: Alright, I’m a female.
You: Unlucky for you.
Stranger: Yeah it is unlucky. I’m stuck with bleeding out of my vagina every month.
You: Niiiiiiiice.
Stranger: And birth pain.. but ya know. That’s life.
Stranger: So, who are YOU.
You: I am male and I’m stuck with bleeding from my cock every month. I think I masturbate too much.
Stranger: Ahaha. Funnnny.
Stranger: Maybe you should cut back on that?
You: Maybe you could do it for me?
Stranger: Really? Really? Your going to ask me THAT? How old are you?
You: 18 years young. You?
Stranger: 16. Do you watch wrestling? (just curious)
You: Only the stuff with women and mud.
Stranger: Oh sweet god, that’s not what I meant.
You: You should have specified, little lady.
Stranger: Like, the WWE.. with John Cena? Kelly Kelly? Randy Orton? ETC.
You: Giant Haystacks?
Stranger: What?
You: He is a wrestleman.
Stranger: Oh. They don’t call them “wrestleman” they call them wrestlers. And for the men it’s Superstars and women: Diva’s.
Stranger: Where you from?
You: England. Have you heard of it? From where are you?
Stranger: Yeah! Of course, I’ve heard of it. I’m from USA.
Stranger: Also known as the country with all the fat people!
You: Are you fat? I will still have sex with you even if you are.
Stranger: Aha nooo. I think I am, but everyone thinks I’m a stick.
You: What’s brown and sticky?
Stranger: This is a trick question.. CHOCOLATE.
You: A stick.
Stranger: CLEVER.
Stranger: I see what you did there.
You: No, you see what people hundreds of years ago did when that joke was invented.
Stranger: Ahaha.
You: So when are you next coming to England?
Stranger: Never. I’ve never even been there before!
You: Then how are we going to have sex? My dick won’t stretch to the USA.
Stranger: Ahahah. We’re not!
You: Cocktease.
Stranger: Take care, spike your hair.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
Are you horny? If you both are, you should do something about that. ;)
Stranger: Not really
You: Pervert.
Stranger: Meh, it’s usually a good conversation starter
You: Can we have sex anyway to please the weirdo?
Stranger: Um
Stranger: Sure?
You: Where do you live?
Stranger: That’s really not important, is it?
Stranger: Wait
Stranger: Do you mean
You: Do you want to meet at my place, then?
Stranger: Like
Stranger: Depends
Stranger: How attractive are you?
You: I’d say I’m an 8.
You: Out of 100.
Stranger: Well I’m more like a 3
Stranger: Oh yeah
Stranger: That sounds like we’re compatible then
You: How many holes have you got?
Stranger: Just one
Stranger: Wait
Stranger: Technically 2
You: I’m not gay.
Stranger: Neither am I
Stranger: I was going to pretend you had boobies
You: I sort of do.
Stranger: YES!
Stranger: This will totally work out then
You: There’s nothing gay about sex with another man.
Stranger: Exactly
Stranger: As long as you don’t have a hardon when you do it
Stranger: Wait what?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: 17. Male. England.
Stranger: 18 female brazil
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: no pants. a thong. a tanktop. no bra
You: Very sexy.
Stranger: thanks’
Stranger: im hornaynay
You: Do you want me to pretend to fuck you?
Stranger: sure
You: I put my dick in you.
Stranger: yum
You: Then I take it out and put it in again.
Stranger: what the fuck why
Stranger: you asswipe
You: That’s sex, that is.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello.
Stranger: hey
Stranger: asl?
You: 5. 5. 5.
Stranger: ???
You: Admeasurement, size, length?
Stranger: not even
You: No. 5 is odd.
Stranger: ur dumb age sex location
You: I’m not dumb.
Stranger: yeah
You: ASL?
Stranger: 15 f usa
You: Niiiiice. What are you wearing?
Stranger: clothes asl?
You: 17. Male. England.
Stranger: cool! haha
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Do you want to see my massive cock?
Stranger: sure
You: Gay.
Stranger: female, you fuck
You: Whore.
Stranger: i know, huh
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 19, or does it not matter
You: 5 and up is fine by me.
Stranger: im sure the 5 year old think your dick is impressive
Stranger: i dont know about me
You: What’s impressive by your standards?
Stranger: a good 8 inches.
Stranger: let me guess, 9, right
You: Half that then add half.
Stranger: half what 8?
You: Does it really matter? It’s small whatever number you half.
Stranger: what happened to this massive cock you told me about
You: Most people quit after that so I didn’t think it would matter what I said.
Stranger: oh. well i didn’t. and now i’m a bit disappointed
You: Sorry. Could it make it up to you somehow?
Stranger: how would you do that?
You: I could fist you?
Stranger: haha. sorry. your fist isn’t going to fit in my pussy, and it aint going in my ass
You: You could fist me?
Stranger: you could get a guy to do that.
You: I’m not gay.
Stranger: didn’t say you were
You: We could hold hands. Does that turn you on?
Stranger: haha. turn me on. no. it doesn’t turn me on. cocks turn me on
You: I could paint my fingers to look like lots of dicks. Would you like that?
Stranger: not in the least
You: You’re a diffcult woman to please.
Stranger: not really. the man just has to have what i need.
You: Food and water and oxygen?
Stranger: food, water, oxygen and a nice cock. we’ve already been over this.
Stranger: i apologize if my sexual nature intimidates you
You: It does intimidate me. I’m only eight.
Stranger: i doubt that.
Stranger: why do you lie? just be honest
You: I am 9 days away from my 18th birthday.
Stranger: thanks. i appreciate the honesty.
Stranger: Happy birthday, by the way.
You: Happy birthday to you too. From where are you?
Stranger: US
You: I’ve heard of that place.
Stranger: i’m done. bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hey, sexy.
Stranger: oh hey there
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: clothes ;)
You: Thanks for that. I just came.
Stranger: orlly babyy
You: No.
Stranger: (:
You: From where are you?
Stranger: from where are you?
You: I asked first.
Stranger: i was making fun of the way you said it.
Stranger: new jersey though.
You: I didn’t ask what you are wearing.
Stranger: what?
Stranger: lol you just did
You: You said you were wearing a new jersey.
Stranger: no, you asked where i was from
You: And said you were wearing a jersey.
Stranger: i said im from new jersey
Stranger: not a jersey
Stranger: you’re not making any sense.
Stranger: you know.
You: I’m making fish of sense.
Stranger: indeedly.
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 17.
You: Baby.
Stranger: okay well how old are you
You: 18.
Stranger: okay so how does being 17 make me a baby?
You: I was just calling you baby as a term of affection.
Stranger: oh well thanks lovey.
You: Have you got a boyfriend?
Stranger: no i do not!
Stranger: do you have a gf?
You: No. Why not. Are you a lesbian?
Stranger: no maybe no guys are interested in me like that?
Stranger: why would that make me a lesbian?
You: I was just guessing. Sorry if it was too close to home.
Stranger: haha just a little you’re fine though.
Stranger: why don’t you have a gf?
Stranger: you gay?
You: Yes. I am very gay.
Stranger: yeah?
Stranger: thats great are you happy about the ny bill being passed then!?
You: I’m not really gay. Is NY Bill a gay man?
Stranger: okay well im pretty sure you’re like a 50 year old man.
You: Why so, little girl?
Stranger: the way you type, its so obvious.
You: Not all young people are idiots.
Stranger: okay well.
Stranger: it was nice talking to you.
You: Would you go out with me even if I was 50?
Stranger: no.
Stranger: i would go 7 years older tops.
You: Frigid.
Stranger: nah i just have standards.
You: What are they?
Stranger: not 50 year old men.
Stranger: basically.
You: I’m 18, though. Please love me.
Stranger: haha thats okay, ill pass.
Stranger: we cool though, we can be friends.
You: With benefits?
Stranger: nope.
Stranger: not down with that.
You: You’re no fun. You used to be cool.
Stranger: aww.
Stranger: well maybe i guyss friends with benefits it depends on the guy.
You: Depends on cock size?
Stranger: ohh ho ho got me there!
You: You big whore.
Stranger: oh totally.
Stranger: gettting dicks all day errday.
You: I wish I was you.
You: But with pussy.
You: I’m not gay.
Stranger: soo are you saying i dont have pussy?
You: I would need some pictures to tell for sure.
Stranger: oh.
Stranger: well i would like to confirm that you’re actually not a pedophile and just a really horny and bored teenager before that happens.
You: The second one.
Stranger: ill need proof.
You: http://img64.imageshack.us/img64/904/dreamboat.jpg This is me this is.
Stranger: you look younger than 18!
You: I was probably 17 in that picture.
Stranger: understandable.
You: Do you fancy me?
Stranger: you’re cute!
You: I thought you said you had standards?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello. I’m male.
Stranger: I’m female
Stranger: Age?
You: I’m 18 years young.
Stranger: Cool, I’m 16
You: Hahaha. Baby.
Stranger: Baby? You really think I’m a baby? I’m not that young
You: I’m just messin’ (messing) with ya (you).
Stranger: Mhm. Alright then
You: From where are you?
Stranger: Canada. You?
You: Is that in the USA? England.
Stranger: Canada is a different country than the USA. And you’re British? Awesome, I love British boys ;)
You: Do you want to move to England and have sex with me?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hey
You: Hello.
Stranger: asl?
You: 18. Male. England.
Stranger: 14, female, usa.
You: Hahaha. Baby.
Stranger: haha yeah :(
You: I could make you feel like a woman.
Stranger: hahaha i have a boyfriend
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: I am very gay.
Stranger: Hey
You: Hello.
Stranger: How are you?
You: Male, thanks.
Stranger: No, I meant, how are you?
You: I am fine. Are you in good health?
Stranger: Eh, not really
You: Cheer up. What’s wrong?
Stranger: Uhh, I found out today that I’m pregnant.
You: Are you female?
Stranger: Yup
You: That doesn’t sound too bad.
Stranger: It is
You: Why?
Stranger: Cause I’m 14..
You: You’re a slut.
Stranger: No, ive only ever been with the one guy..
You: Did you wear a condom?
Stranger: It broke :(
You: Yu should stick to anal in future.
Stranger: Ew, no
You: You’d love it.
Stranger: It’s gross.
You: Are you still with the father?
Stranger: Yea
Stranger: Why?
You: Just curious if you needed someone to fuck you after you got all fat and pregnant.
Stranger: Uhhh, okay? I’m not going to get fat..
You: So you’re going to have an abortion, you monster?
Stranger: No. Why would I do that?
You: I wondered how you’d get pregnant without being fat.
Stranger: I’m not going to get fat, I may gain a couple pounds but not fat
You: That’s good then. So are you up for a threesome?
Stranger: No?
You: Are you asking me or telling me?
Stranger: I’m surprised you asked.
You: Why?
Stranger: Because I’m not a fucking slut.
You: You don’t have to be a slut to enjoy a threesome.
Stranger: Dude, ya you do. I slept with him cause I love him.
You: One can love two people at once.
Stranger: Thet
Stranger: Oops
Stranger: They can but I dont
You: So there’s no way I can talk you into a threesome?
Stranger: No.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: I am lonely.
Stranger: me too :/
You: From where are you?
Stranger: Minnesota,usa
You: That’s a shame.
Stranger: uh oh why/
Stranger: *?
You: If you lived near London there would be a slim but possible chance of sex.
Stranger: truee !
Stranger: so im guessing you are in the uk?
You: The US of K, as I believe you Americans call it.
Stranger: nahh we call it the unitedd kingdom or the uk or england haha
You: Oh right. How old are you?
Stranger: im 17
You: You are like a little very young foetus or something.
Stranger: wait what?
You: I’m saying you are young because it will be funny.
Stranger: eh okay, so im guessing you are a bit older?
You: I might be.
Stranger: im guessing you are in your 20s?
You: Guess again.
Stranger: 30s?
You: Not quite…
Stranger: eh 41?
You: It’s going to take ages for you to wrap round past infinity and come up through the negative numbers. I’m 17.
Stranger: youree 17? :P
You: “I’m 17.” I am 17 years old.
Stranger: thats unbelievable cause your sense of intelligence is rather high..
You: Capital letters and full stops (periods, to you) don’t make me intelligent. My IQ of 154 makes me intelligent.
Stranger: It’s not that, you can tell when someone is intelligent or not.
You: I can also tell if someone is intelligent.
You: OR NOT. Sorry, I forgot that part.
Stranger: it was a compliment saying you are intelligent, no need for your smart ass comments. (:
You: Sorry. What are you doing?
Stranger: im watching tv and getting annoyed that all they show is this stupid royal wedding, what about you?
You: Putting my banners up for the royal wedding.
Stranger: you have to put banners up?
You: No. I just like banners.
Stranger: what is it like there, doing this time?
You: I’m not too sure I follow you with that sentence. Do you mean during?
Stranger: yeah sorry..
You: A lot of the adverts are for royal wedding memorabilia/tat or advertising Freeview HD. At least we get the day off tomorrow.
Stranger: sounds like what its like here, minus getting the day off
You: Are you going to watch it at whatever time it is in your country?
Stranger: Well see, I’m not sure if I want to wake up at 4 in the morning. Are you planning on watching it?
You: I don’t want to, but I don’t want to jilt Kate.
Stranger: jilt?
You: Yep. What are your hobbies?
Stranger: texting, piano, violin, writing, and traveling. you?
You: Idiot’s piano, and playing Xbox.
Stranger: yeah, how long have you played?
You: Xbox or keyboards?
Stranger: keyboard..
You: About 6 years.
Stranger: Oh, I’m guessing you’re good.
You: Not really. I haven’t actually learned how to play properly.
Stranger: oh, why not?a
Stranger: *why not?
You: I’ve never really been interested in playing properly. For how long have you played piano?
Stranger: 12 years
You: Aren’t your hands sore by now?
Stranger: I’ve been through that part.
You: To where do you travel?
Stranger: We’ve been trying to travel throughout Europe
You: You and whom?
Stranger: My family.
You: Why have you only been trying?
Stranger: because my family is dysfunctional and my parents can never agree to disagree. So if one person likes this place we go there 50 times instead of trying other places
You: Go on two different holidays.
Stranger: They wouldn’t agree to do that. Cause my mom acts all stupid without my Dad around
You: Women, eh?
Stranger: You can say that.
You: That.
Stranger: Have you traveled anywhere?
You: Nope. I’m still in the hospital in which I was born. I have been to America and Malta and France and Mexico and that’s not all.
You: I’ve also been to Belgium.
Stranger: where in america?
You: Arizona and California mostly.
Stranger: which was your favorite?
You: My favourite was probably Arizona because I was younger and things get worse when one gets old, and I am very old so I should know.
Stranger: you aren’t old.
You: I may be only 17 years old, but I have lived for 6552 days. Think about that.
Stranger: In as much I would like to continue talking to you, I have to go pick up my mother from work. Havee a nice life, if we dont talk again
You: We are very unlikely to talk again, which is a shame because I think I love you. Bye-bye.
Stranger: yeah, it is a shame, do you have some type of network in which i would be able to contact you on again?
You: I have an e-mail address. Do you remember e-mail?
Stranger: i havee email too, whats yours?
You: lapearsall@googlemail.com
Stranger: btw whats your name?
You: L.A. Pearsall are my names, but you can call me boyfriend.
Stranger: haha iight, ill email youu. bye boyfriend !
You: Bye, boyfriend.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.