Omegle

DISCLAIMER: I’M NOT REALLY A RACIST SEXIST HOMOPHOBE MURDERER SEX-PEST PAEDOPHILE.
OK, I am, but I’m not gay.

Stranger: hi
You: Good morning.
Stranger: good morning to you too
You: How are you?
Stranger: im good thanks
Stranger: you?
You: Not bad.
Stranger: good to hear
You: Now we have the pleasantries out the way, do you want to get naked for me?
Stranger: i already am
You: Niiiiiiice.
Stranger: i like to sit around naked
You: Whore.
Stranger: i like my balls to breathe
You: Women don’t have balls.
Stranger: do the maths then
You: I don’t understand.
Stranger: random person + balls =?
Stranger: come on its not hard
You: It is a bit.
Stranger: even an idiot like you can work it out
You: I think you are lying about having balls, young lady.
Stranger: please dont reproduce
Stranger: im a guy
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Question to discuss:
how to approach a girl ?
Stranger: Your legs.
You: From behind.
Stranger: Use your legs.
You: Use your cock as well.
Stranger: NO!
Stranger: That will not help you walk.
Stranger: In any case, it will hinder your ability to walk.
Stranger: Maybe after you’re right behind her.
You: Not mine. It’s massive.
Stranger: Ya, but it’s still not capable of locomotion :|
Stranger: Unless. .
You: It slides along like a snail.
Stranger: Yours is?
Stranger: Oh, the images. .
You: Do they turn you on, you pervert?
Stranger: Eh.
Stranger: Snail penis. .
Stranger: Not really my fetish.
You: What is your fetish?
Stranger: :|
Stranger: Owl penis.
You: I can twist the head 360 degrees if that’s what you’re into?
Stranger: My face
Stranger: :|
Stranger: That.
Stranger: You can’t see it, but there’s a tinge of wut.
Stranger: ;:|
You: I want to cum on your wut face.
Stranger: With your snail/owl abomo-penis?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hey
You: Hello.
Stranger: how r u ?
You: Roobot no?
Stranger: lol
Stranger: not well i guess
You: How are you?
Stranger: im good
Stranger: asl?
You: Guess.
Stranger: umm 20?
Stranger: m
You: Close enough.
Stranger: idk antartica?
Stranger: lol
You: No. That is a silly answer.
Stranger: yes, yes it is
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 17
You: Baby.
Stranger: mmhmm
Stranger: lol how old r u?
You: 18.
Stranger: baby.
You: Then you must be foetus.
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: -___- no
You: Got a boyfriend?
Stranger: no singleswaggg
You: Want a boyfriend?
Stranger: idk , havent thought about it
Stranger: its been a while
You: Come to England and be my boyfriend.
Stranger: your a girl??
You: No. What makes you think that?
Stranger: you said come be MY boyfriend
You: Got a problem with that?
Stranger: umm…idk
Stranger: are you a heshe?
You: Is that what homophobes call gays nowadays?
Stranger: yea kinda
Stranger: is that you?
You: No. I’m straight.
Stranger: well im a girl js
You: With tits and everything?
Stranger: and i have no clue why you would say be MY boyfriend unless it was a typo
You: I’m just bored.
Stranger: yup
Stranger: okay
You: From where are you?
Stranger: well..
Stranger: us
You: You are from us? Am I your Dad and you your own Mum?
Stranger: usa
You: Is that in Africa somewhere?
Stranger: l m a o
Stranger: no its in antartica -___-
Stranger: jk
You: That is a silly answer.
Stranger: why yes its not
You: What are you wearing?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Question to discuss:
I AM THE MINOTAUR. ALL CLOWNS ARE THE MINOTAUR. IT WILL NEVER BE YOUR BIRTHDAY AGAIN.
You: Me too.
Stranger: :O
Stranger: noooooo
Stranger: my life
Stranger: it is ruined
Stranger: all those years!
You: It’s not real.
Stranger: those lies!
You: He’s not really the minotaur.
Stranger: i know
Stranger: it is called sarcasm
Stranger: look it up
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
Guess what
Stranger: hi
You: Hello.
Stranger: what
You: Who are you?
Stranger: i am god
You: Really?
Stranger: yes
You: I’m your biggest fan.
You: I’ve got all your book.
Stranger: ok
You: Where did you get the idea for those commandments?
Stranger: my brother
Stranger: joe
You: Why isn’t he mentioned in the Bible?
Stranger: because i was mothers fav son
You: What does your mother look like?
Stranger: hold on i have a pic
You: Good. I need a wank.
Stranger: http://www.google.com/imgres?q=trollolol&num=10&um=1&hl=en&rlz=1C1TSNJ_enUS459US459&biw=1366&bih=667&tbm=isch&tbnid=PzLNsRjsl3N8HM:&imgrefurl=http://s296.photobucket.com/albums/mm185/predacon-/%3Faction%3Dview%26current%3D1280268178120.jpg%26newest%3D1&docid=QGRzUU7Kc4APfM&imgurl=http://i296.photobucket.com/albums/mm185/predacon-/1280268178120.jpg&w=469&h=428&ei=6MDeTu7HDcHg0QHS8eS4Bw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=191&vpy=290&dur=176&hovh=214&hovw=235&tx=126&ty=85&sig=117608168550092535649&sqi=2&page=1&tbnh=141&tbnw=176&start=0&ndsp=22&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:0
Stranger: that
You: It doesn’t load for me. Is she sexy?
Stranger: here
Stranger: V
Stranger: http://www.google.com/imgres?q=hot+chick&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&rlz=1C1TSNJ_enUS459US459&biw=1366&bih=667&tbm=isch&tbnid=hSvz0KBy3vsJcM:&imgrefurl=http://www.hotstockmarket.com
Stranger: try this
You: Your Mum’s alright. Could I have her number?
Stranger: hold on i have it over here
Stranger: 212-660-2245
Stranger: there
You: Thanks. I’ll give it a go.
Stranger: ok she is
Stranger: hot
You: An old man answered. He said he doesn’t know any women.
Stranger: ok
You: Did you lie to me?
Stranger: i am very sorry
Stranger: i hope the man watching this is entertained
Stranger: he has not ended yet
Stranger: no i did not lie
You: Aren’t you the man watching this?
Stranger: no
You: You are God, afterall.
Stranger: this is spy mode
You: If he quits, we can still talk. I would have thought God would know that.
Stranger: oh ok well omegle is the devels work i dont go on it much
You: What’s Omegle?
Stranger: the site we are on
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
How can i stump my growth? im going threw a highschool growth spert and im already 5’7 im female :'( i get harassed and physically bullied b/c im so tall :( other than coffee please i beg of you
You: Sleep upside down?
Stranger: I’m 5’9 and a female..
You: Freak.
Stranger: You’re really not that tall
Stranger: Was the freak directed towards me..
You: Both of you tall ladies.
Stranger: Um alright, asshole
You: I love you, really.
Stranger: Mhmm, I can feel your love through the screen
Stranger: Warm and cozt
You: That’s radiation.
Stranger: cozy too
Stranger: Aw, shit
You: Enjoy your new ears.
Stranger: Yay for supersonic hearing..
You: You can hear dog whistles. You must be a dog.
Stranger: A tall, sexy dog with three ears to be exact
You: If you were from Gamibinique you’d be my ideal woman.
Stranger: Hold on while I Google that..
You: Tricked you.
Stranger: Now why would you do such a thing
Stranger: Asshole..
You: The fact that you expected it to be real, and I disappointed you, turned me on.
Stranger: Hahahahah, you’re a freak, ya know that?
You: I wondered why I lived in a cage.
Stranger: ‘Cause you’re Batman’s cousin
You: Mouseman?
Stranger: Yes, Mouseman indeed. The greatest mouseman to have ever lived
You: That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said about me.
Stranger: ;)
You: That photo makes you look half Chinese.
Stranger: ….
Stranger: I dunno how to respond to that
You: Four dots and an “I dunno how to respond to that” will do.
Stranger: Hahahahhahaaah, I’m glad
You: From where are you?
Stranger: I’m from Northern USA
Stranger: You?
You: Alaska?
You: England.
Stranger: Called it! I knew you were English
Stranger: and no, not that far up north
You: I don’t know any middle states. Ohio?
Stranger: Maine
You: I hear the tyre industry is booming in maine.
Stranger: Oh, that’s fantastic..
You: What are you up to?
Stranger: I’m listening to music, you?
You: Me too. To what are you listening?
Stranger: Golden Silvers
Stranger: They’re actually British
You: One of those new bands from after the year 2000?
Stranger: Yeahh
You: The year 2000 was the pinnacle of humankind.
Stranger: Music wise? or just in general
Stranger: How old are you, by the way?
You: In all aspects of life. I’m 18 years young. You?
Stranger: Really? I thought you were a bit older. I’m sixteen
You: Sixteen? You’re not even 17.
Stranger: Does that bother you or something?
You: No. It’s not like I’m going to have sex with you.
Stranger: Well, yeah
You: Cheer up. It might happen if you’re lucky.
Stranger: I’ll cross my fingers
You: Fingers crossed and legs open.
Stranger: That’s a nice image plastered in my mind
You: That’s what happens when you talk to a weirdo.
Stranger: You’re not a weirdo. You’re a freak
You: You kids… Aren’t they the same?
Stranger: Hahaha, I’m no kid. And there’s a big difference, man
Stranger: Freaks are…freaky. You’re just plain ol’ freaky
You: It’s people like you that make me want to cut my wrists.
Stranger: Wow. And to think I thought you couldn’t get any freakier
You: I also have no hair on my body except for on my cheeks and I like playing Monopoly alone.
Stranger: Why are you telling me this
You: We shouldn’t keep secrets if we’re going to get married.
Stranger: But you haven’t even proposed yet
You: Will you marry me?
Stranger: No.
You: Cocktease. Whyn’t?
Stranger: ‘Cause I don’t love you, that’s why
You: But I love you.
Stranger: Yeeeah, this unfortunately is a one-way street, snookums
Stranger: I just called you snookums..
You: Is that another word for freak?
Stranger: But more loving, of course
Stranger: I’m trying to let you down easy, so you fall softly on your tiny mouseman ass
You: I’d rather fall onto your sexy ass.
Stranger: Flattering, but not mind-changing
You: Do you like bacon? I can cook bacon for you every day.
Stranger: Oh man, that’s a tough offer to deny
Stranger: Feed it to me, and you’ve got a deal
You: I will do.
Stranger: Yay, we’re a match made in heaven
You: Well, your half is.
Stranger: Aren’t you the sweetest
You: Second sweetest after you.
Stranger: Alright, alright, I’m gonna get a sugar overload from all your sweetnes
You: And then you’ll get a cum overload from my dick. But the cum will be sweet.
Stranger: Woah, this conversation took an unusual sexual turn
You: An ever-present risk when talking to me.
Stranger: I’m not surprised, really, given the nature of this site
You: You like the attention.
Stranger: Right, because I intend to arouse random boys from around the world and ultimately have them have a “cum overload”
You: I knew it.
Stranger: You’re a smart cookie
You: Not as smart or edible as you.
Stranger: Are you honestly horny?
You: I’m male, so yes, but not much.
Stranger: Oh, alright..because I’m not prepared to engage in some freaky cyber-sex exchange
You: Good.
Stranger: Indeed
You: Got any plans for this week?
Stranger: School, a couple field hockey games, shit
Stranger: yourself?
You: I have a job interview on Wednesday. I might go to the pub another day.
Stranger: Sweeet. I wish I could just hit up pubs whenever I wanted
You: Soon enough, little one. Soon enough.
Stranger: Can’t wait to get drunk and puke everywhere
You: That’s fun.
Stranger: I can imagine!
You: Once I got really drunk on about half a shandy and meant to walk home but ended up at Homebase instead.#
Stranger: What’s a homebase?
You: The hardware store.
Stranger: Ohh, must be an English thing
Stranger: But hmm, that’s interesting
You: On another occasion I got a bit drunk and went to school. Nothing funny happened.
Stranger: And nobody noticed?
You: Don’t think so.
Stranger: Damn, that’s lucky
You: It was skill.
Stranger: What time is it over there?
You: Time you got a watch. 2 AM… in the morning.
Stranger: Jeeeeez, that’s late
You: I know. I can’t leave you, though.
Stranger: Good, I’d die without you
You: Only because I’d kill you if you divorced me.
Stranger: Hahahaha, you evil mofo
You: But it’s a moot point because you’ll never leave me.
Stranger: Wouldn’t dream of it….
You: What do you aspire to be?
Stranger: My ideal job would be in the acting industry
You: Can you act?
Stranger: Well, yeagh
You: You should have said no.
Stranger: hahaha, why?
You: That would have been acting.
Stranger: Ahhh
Stranger: I’m not as clever as you, clearly
You: Of course not you’re only 16.
You: And American.
You: And female.
Stranger: Ouch, ouch, and ouch
You: The truth hurts, but not as much as a brick.
Stranger: Unless it’s a brick made out of feathers
You: We don’t have those in England.
Stranger: Get with the times, man. Get with them
Stranger: Alright, I’ve got to finish my homework at some point
You: A shape with six sides is a hexagon, if that helps.
Stranger: With English? Not so much. But I admire the effort
You: I guess you’d better be going, then.
Stranger: Well, if you want me to that badly…
You: I want you to disconnect and come straight to England to find me.
Stranger: And what would I do once I found you?
You: We could hold hands.
Stranger: That’s cute
You: Have you ever held a boy’s hand before?
Stranger: I’m not five
You: I didn’t say you were.
Stranger: Ughh, hushhh. Yes, I have, once upon a time
You: I hope you wore a glove so you didn’t get pregnant.
Stranger: Nope, I got a love child sitting on my lap as we speak
You: A love child sounds like some sort of perverted sex toy.
Stranger: Yeah, well, you have a twisted mind
You: Like an Escher painting.
Stranger: I love M.C
You: Is he one of those rappers down the banisters?
Stranger: Ha. Ha.
I read that in an English accent in my head
You: Repeat it a few times in different voices and it’ll be funnier.
Stranger: Hahahah, you’re right
Stranger: Indian is the best
You: Racist.
Stranger: :(
You: Cheer up, sexy.
Stranger: You got it, stud
You: I am a stud. I’ll be all over your jeans.
Stranger: Yumm
You: What time is it there?
Stranger: 9:30 pm
You: That’s a bit late.
Stranger: Are you trying to get me to leave?
You: Sort of. I am a bit tired and I’m not as funny when I’m tired.
Stranger: Oh…
Stranger: You can totally go to bed if you want
You: Can you come with me?
Stranger: Absolutely, spooning ftw
You: I’ll leave with that image in my mind. Goodnight.
Stranger: Goodnight, stranger :)
Stranger: I guess you’ll remain one forever
You: Lucky you.
Stranger: Alright, goodbye
You: OK. I love you. Bye bye.
You have disconnected.

Question to discuss:
why do grown-ass men love my little pony?!
Stranger: Cos they’re cool
You: Because you have a nice pony?
Stranger: Yeah, that too
You: Do you like ponies?
Stranger: No
Stranger: I like Llamas though
You: What is that? Is it like a cow?
Stranger: No, they’re like a Horse, but they have long necks, they spit at people and they’re awesome
You: You’re thinking of camels.
Stranger: No, Camels have humps
Stranger: Llamas don’t
You: Lamas would get humps
You: if I had my way.
Stranger: *Llamas
You: Are they Welsh?
Stranger: No
You: *Lamas, then.
Stranger: *Llamas
You: Are you actually a massive fucking idiot?
Stranger: Better question… Are you?
You: I know how to spell lama.
Stranger: Its Llama
You: Do I look like I have mug written across my forehead? It’s lama.
Stranger: No, its Llama
You: Are you one years old? Do you not understand simple words?
Stranger: Oh, I understand perfectly
You: You just can’t spell them.
Stranger: I’m just finding it hard, because you’re so ignorant
You: At least I know what a lama is.
Stranger: Its a Llama
Stranger: And evidently, you have the knowledge of a spoon
You: Of course I have that knowledge. Everyone knows what a spoon does.
Stranger: And, yet, a smart guy like you, must surely know about Llamas
You: The word is “lama” you big ninny.
Stranger: No, I think you’ll find, its Llama
You: Yeah. Of course it is, fucking idiot.
Stranger: Google it
Stranger: Moron
You: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lama Now who is the moron?
Stranger: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Llama
Stranger: Moron
You: You just changed the link.
Stranger: I know what a Lama is
Stranger: Check it
You: A Lama is a man who looks like a horse with a long neck who spits at people. Don’t you even know that yet?
Stranger: No, a Lama is a spiritual leader
You: A word can have two meaning, dicktwin.
Stranger: A Llama is a ” is a South American camelid, widely used as a meat and pack animal by Andean cultures since pre-Hispanic times.”
You: You just made that up.
Stranger: Check the link dingus
You: You changed the page on Wikipedia and just copied the image of an alapaca to the page.
Stranger: You do realise, thats impossible to do, in the time we’ve been talking?
You: Not if you had a picture of an alapaca saved on your desktop like a pervert.
Stranger: I can clearly see you are an uneducated fool
You: You must have turned your screen off so it is acting like a mirror.
Stranger: I’m sorry, you must have me mistaken for a Neanderthal… Sorry, I’m not related to you…
You: I’m not even from the Netherlands.
Stranger: They’re Dutch you moron
You: Lamas aren’t Dutch. They’re from South America.
Stranger: Llamas are from South America
Stranger: Lamas come from Tibet
You: I think you’re getting a bit confused.
Stranger: No, I think I know exactly whats going on
You: What’s that then, you big muff?
Stranger: That you have no knowledge of anything outside of your cave, and you like displaying your foolishness
You: At least I can afford a cave. You can’t even afford how to spell lama.
Stranger: Oh, you know, I didn’t know they had to pay for words on Gondwanaland
You: It’s called Venice. Not Gondolaland.
Stranger: How convenient… Monkey knows words
You: I know words like lama. Words that you don’t know.
Stranger: I get the impression, that I know more than you ever will
You: I know at least 100 hundred words. So I am more good than you.
Stranger: Clearly
You: So you admit you are a big fool?
Stranger: No, I admit that you’re stupidity is rather hilarious
You: It really is.
Stranger: I must admit, it has given me a rather good chuckle
You: What’s a chuckle?
You: Is it like a boner?
Stranger: Another word for laugh
You: Oh right.
Stranger: So, before I leave you to stew in your own juices, I’ll say this… Pick up a book, or something once in a while, and do try not to cut yourself on the pages… I’d had to think I led a silly person like you to hurt themselves
You: OK. Thanks. Good luck with your legs.
Stranger: Yes, my legs and I shall now depart… Goodbye Uneducated rabble
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Male or inferior?
Stranger: hey :)
You: Hello.
Stranger: inferior!
Stranger: hi
You: I’m sorry to hear that.
Stranger: haha fuck u
You: Hit a nerve, have I?
Stranger: How old are u anyways?
You: 18 years young. You?
Stranger: 16 years old
You: Sooooo cute.
Stranger: you’re not
Stranger: you’re just old
You: I’m young and full of energy.
Stranger: I’m younger and have all the energy in the world
You: You can go on top, then.
Stranger: haha
Stranger: wow, illegal
You: Not if you came here.
Stranger: where is here?
You: England please.
Stranger: australias kinda far away bro
You: Don’t be frigid.
Stranger: and yeah, it’s still illegal
Stranger: in england
Stranger: duhhhhhh
You: I don’t know the laws where I live. Thanks for telling me.
Stranger: you should learn them, go to college
You: Can I learn sarcasm in college?
Stranger: hmmmm
Stranger: i have no idea what to say to that
You: Cat got your tongue?
Stranger: ohhhh you were being sarcastic
Stranger: i thought you were just an idiot
You: The cat had my tongue the other day. I was licking out its pussy. Do you like jokes?
Stranger: thats fucking disgusting
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Good morning.
Stranger: hey:)
Stranger: erm it’s the night?
Stranger: well evening
You: Where are you?
Stranger: uk :L
You: Where is that?
Stranger: erm england?
You: Never heard of it.
Stranger: omg where are you from?
You: London.
Stranger: what the hell
You: Have you heard of it?
Stranger: erm thats in england!
You: I don’t think it is.
Stranger: erm it’s
Stranger: it the capital
Stranger: *it’s
You: I got a C on GCSE geography so I should know. It isn’t.
Stranger: it is you freak.. well i think they mark your paper wrong
You: No need to call me a freak. I’m not that ugly.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Good morning.
Stranger: it’s night here.
You: No it isn’t.
Stranger: yeah it is. it’s 0:51.
You: That is morning.
Stranger: No. Night.
You: Are you in Germany?
Stranger: Denmark.
You: Same.
Stranger: Right above Germany.
You: They are all the same.
Stranger: Nope. Not really. If you where from Denmark, you would understand this:
Stranger: N

Stranger: WWWYKI.
You: Hey, sexy.
Stranger: Hey.
You: Who are you?
Stranger: Who am I? Who are YOU?
You: I asked first.
Stranger: I asked second. First is the worst, second is the best.
Stranger: Alright, I’m a female.
You: Unlucky for you.
Stranger: Yeah it is unlucky. I’m stuck with bleeding out of my vagina every month.
You: Niiiiiiiice.
Stranger: And birth pain.. but ya know. That’s life.
Stranger: So, who are YOU.
You: I am male and I’m stuck with bleeding from my cock every month. I think I masturbate too much.
Stranger: Ahaha. Funnnny.
Stranger: Maybe you should cut back on that?
You: Maybe you could do it for me?
Stranger: Really? Really? Your going to ask me THAT? How old are you?
You: 18 years young. You?
Stranger: 16. Do you watch wrestling? (just curious)
You: Only the stuff with women and mud.
Stranger: Oh sweet god, that’s not what I meant.
You: You should have specified, little lady.
Stranger: Like, the WWE.. with John Cena? Kelly Kelly? Randy Orton? ETC.
You: Giant Haystacks?
Stranger: What?
You: He is a wrestleman.
Stranger: Oh. They don’t call them “wrestleman” they call them wrestlers. And for the men it’s Superstars and women: Diva’s.
Stranger: Where you from?
You: England. Have you heard of it? From where are you?
Stranger: Yeah! Of course, I’ve heard of it. I’m from USA.
Stranger: Also known as the country with all the fat people!
You: Are you fat? I will still have sex with you even if you are.
Stranger: Aha nooo. I think I am, but everyone thinks I’m a stick.
You: What’s brown and sticky?
Stranger: This is a trick question.. CHOCOLATE.
You: A stick.
Stranger: CLEVER.
Stranger: I see what you did there.
You: No, you see what people hundreds of years ago did when that joke was invented.
Stranger: Ahaha.
You: So when are you next coming to England?
Stranger: Never. I’ve never even been there before!
You: Then how are we going to have sex? My dick won’t stretch to the USA.
Stranger: Ahahah. We’re not!
You: Cocktease.
Stranger: Take care, spike your hair.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
Are you horny? If you both are, you should do something about that. ;)
Stranger: Not really
You: Pervert.
Stranger: Meh, it’s usually a good conversation starter
You: Can we have sex anyway to please the weirdo?
Stranger: Um
Stranger: Sure?
You: Where do you live?
Stranger: That’s really not important, is it?
Stranger: Wait
Stranger: Do you mean
You: Do you want to meet at my place, then?
Stranger: Like
Stranger: Depends
Stranger: How attractive are you?
You: I’d say I’m an 8.
You: Out of 100.
Stranger: Well I’m more like a 3
Stranger: Oh yeah
Stranger: That sounds like we’re compatible then
You: How many holes have you got?
Stranger: Just one
Stranger: Wait
Stranger: Technically 2
You: I’m not gay.
Stranger: Neither am I
Stranger: I was going to pretend you had boobies
You: I sort of do.
Stranger: YES!
Stranger: This will totally work out then
You: There’s nothing gay about sex with another man.
Stranger: Exactly
Stranger: As long as you don’t have a hardon when you do it
Stranger: Wait what?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: 17. Male. England.
Stranger: 18 female brazil
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: no pants. a thong. a tanktop. no bra
You: Very sexy.
Stranger: thanks’
Stranger: im hornaynay
You: Do you want me to pretend to fuck you?
Stranger: sure
You: I put my dick in you.
Stranger: yum
You: Then I take it out and put it in again.
Stranger: what the fuck why
Stranger: you asswipe
You: That’s sex, that is.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello.
Stranger: hey
Stranger: asl?
You: 5. 5. 5.
Stranger: ???
You: Admeasurement, size, length?
Stranger: not even
You: No. 5 is odd.
Stranger: ur dumb age sex location
You: I’m not dumb.
Stranger: yeah
You: ASL?
Stranger: 15 f usa
You: Niiiiice. What are you wearing?
Stranger: clothes asl?
You: 17. Male. England.
Stranger: cool! haha
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Do you want to see my massive cock?
Stranger: sure
You: Gay.
Stranger: female, you fuck
You: Whore.
Stranger: i know, huh
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 19, or does it not matter
You: 5 and up is fine by me.
Stranger: im sure the 5 year old think your dick is impressive
Stranger: i dont know about me
You: What’s impressive by your standards?
Stranger: a good 8 inches.
Stranger: let me guess, 9, right
You: Half that then add half.
Stranger: half what 8?
You: Does it really matter? It’s small whatever number you half.
Stranger: what happened to this massive cock you told me about
You: Most people quit after that so I didn’t think it would matter what I said.
Stranger: oh. well i didn’t. and now i’m a bit disappointed
You: Sorry. Could it make it up to you somehow?
Stranger: how would you do that?
You: I could fist you?
Stranger: haha. sorry. your fist isn’t going to fit in my pussy, and it aint going in my ass
You: You could fist me?
Stranger: you could get a guy to do that.
You: I’m not gay.
Stranger: didn’t say you were
You: We could hold hands. Does that turn you on?
Stranger: haha. turn me on. no. it doesn’t turn me on. cocks turn me on
You: I could paint my fingers to look like lots of dicks. Would you like that?
Stranger: not in the least
You: You’re a diffcult woman to please.
Stranger: not really. the man just has to have what i need.
You: Food and water and oxygen?
Stranger: food, water, oxygen and a nice cock. we’ve already been over this.
Stranger: i apologize if my sexual nature intimidates you
You: It does intimidate me. I’m only eight.
Stranger: i doubt that.
Stranger: why do you lie? just be honest
You: I am 9 days away from my 18th birthday.
Stranger: thanks. i appreciate the honesty.
Stranger: Happy birthday, by the way.
You: Happy birthday to you too. From where are you?
Stranger: US
You: I’ve heard of that place.
Stranger: i’m done. bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hey, sexy.
Stranger: oh hey there
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: clothes ;)
You: Thanks for that. I just came.
Stranger: orlly babyy
You: No.
Stranger: (:
You: From where are you?
Stranger: from where are you?
You: I asked first.
Stranger: i was making fun of the way you said it.
Stranger: new jersey though.
You: I didn’t ask what you are wearing.
Stranger: what?
Stranger: lol you just did
You: You said you were wearing a new jersey.
Stranger: no, you asked where i was from
You: And said you were wearing a jersey.
Stranger: i said im from new jersey
Stranger: not a jersey
Stranger: you’re not making any sense.
Stranger: you know.
You: I’m making fish of sense.
Stranger: indeedly.
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 17.
You: Baby.
Stranger: okay well how old are you
You: 18.
Stranger: okay so how does being 17 make me a baby?
You: I was just calling you baby as a term of affection.
Stranger: oh well thanks lovey.
You: Have you got a boyfriend?
Stranger: no i do not!
Stranger: do you have a gf?
You: No. Why not. Are you a lesbian?
Stranger: no maybe no guys are interested in me like that?
Stranger: why would that make me a lesbian?
You: I was just guessing. Sorry if it was too close to home.
Stranger: haha just a little you’re fine though.
Stranger: why don’t you have a gf?
Stranger: you gay?
You: Yes. I am very gay.
Stranger: yeah?
Stranger: thats great are you happy about the ny bill being passed then!?
You: I’m not really gay. Is NY Bill a gay man?
Stranger: okay well im pretty sure you’re like a 50 year old man.
You: Why so, little girl?
Stranger: the way you type, its so obvious.
You: Not all young people are idiots.
Stranger: okay well.
Stranger: it was nice talking to you.
You: Would you go out with me even if I was 50?
Stranger: no.
Stranger: i would go 7 years older tops.
You: Frigid.
Stranger: nah i just have standards.
You: What are they?
Stranger: not 50 year old men.
Stranger: basically.
You: I’m 18, though. Please love me.
Stranger: haha thats okay, ill pass.
Stranger: we cool though, we can be friends.
You: With benefits?
Stranger: nope.
Stranger: not down with that.
You: You’re no fun. You used to be cool.
Stranger: aww.
Stranger: well maybe i guyss friends with benefits it depends on the guy.
You: Depends on cock size?
Stranger: ohh ho ho got me there!
You: You big whore.
Stranger: oh totally.
Stranger: gettting dicks all day errday.
You: I wish I was you.
You: But with pussy.
You: I’m not gay.
Stranger: soo are you saying i dont have pussy?
You: I would need some pictures to tell for sure.
Stranger: oh.
Stranger: well i would like to confirm that you’re actually not a pedophile and just a really horny and bored teenager before that happens.
You: The second one.
Stranger: ill need proof.
You: http://img64.imageshack.us/img64/904/dreamboat.jpg This is me this is.
Stranger: you look younger than 18!
You: I was probably 17 in that picture.
Stranger: understandable.
You: Do you fancy me?
Stranger: you’re cute!
You: I thought you said you had standards?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello. I’m male.
Stranger: I’m female
Stranger: Age?
You: I’m 18 years young.
Stranger: Cool, I’m 16
You: Hahaha. Baby.
Stranger: Baby? You really think I’m a baby? I’m not that young
You: I’m just messin’ (messing) with ya (you).
Stranger: Mhm. Alright then
You: From where are you?
Stranger: Canada. You?
You: Is that in the USA? England.
Stranger: Canada is a different country than the USA. And you’re British? Awesome, I love British boys ;)
You: Do you want to move to England and have sex with me?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hey
You: Hello.
Stranger: asl?
You: 18. Male. England.
Stranger: 14, female, usa.
You: Hahaha. Baby.
Stranger: haha yeah :(
You: I could make you feel like a woman.
Stranger: hahaha i have a boyfriend
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello.
Stranger: hey
Stranger: horny boy?
You: Yes. You?
Stranger: no
Stranger: im a girl looking to chat cuz im bored
You: Chat about what?
Stranger: idk anything really
Stranger: as long as its not about sex
You: What is your favourite type of sex?
Stranger: ok what did i just say?
You: Something about shoes?
Stranger: uhhh
You: Bless you.
Stranger: i didnt sneeze
You: Sorry. I thought you did.
Stranger: ok whatever
Stranger: so how exactly did u get horny?
You: I was born male.
Stranger: right
Stranger: do u think 12 year ol boys r horny too?
You: I was.
Stranger: 13?
You: I was.
Stranger: 1?
You: Probably not.
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: 10?
You: Maybe.
Stranger: 11?
You: What the fuck is this?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello.
Stranger: hey
You: Hey, gay, as I always say.
Stranger: hahah really?
You: No.
Stranger: what do you say then? ha
You: I usually just say “horny f?”
Stranger: hahah well i got the f.. could go either way with the horny part
Stranger: you?
You: 18. Male. England.
Stranger: cool
You: You?
Stranger: 21 f usa
You: You are an old lady.
Stranger: hahah sorry..
You: It’s not your fault. It’s your parents I have the issue with.
Stranger: ah of course
You: What brings you to Omegle?
Stranger: bored as fuck haha
Stranger: you?
You: Bored of fuck
You: ing. Coz I is a playa.
Stranger: hahahah
Stranger: nice
You: What do you do in life?
Stranger: student
Stranger: you?
You: Unemployed.
Stranger: cool cool
You: What do you study?
Stranger: physics
You: What’s that?
Stranger: likee…. the way stuff works haha
You: That’ll do. Can you get a career in physics?
Stranger: engineering…
You: What kind do you want to be?
Stranger: dont know yet
You: You women just can’t make your minds up.
Stranger: exactly the problem
You: Word on the street is: all the money is in the petrol industry.
Stranger: hmmm i better get on that then
You: If you make lots of money, half of it is rightly mine for telling you.
Stranger: well, naturally
You: You got a boyfriend?
Stranger: nope
You: Lesbian.
Stranger: haha nope
You: Why don’t you have a boyfriend?
Stranger: just dont hah
You: Do you only have half your limbs or something?
Stranger: i actually just have the one arm… im typing with one hand here
You: I’m typing with one arm now at the thought of that.
Stranger: hahahah
You: Where in the US are you?
Stranger: ca
You: Nice. I have been there.
Stranger: cool
Stranger: where you at in england?
You: London.
Stranger: sweet
Stranger: never been
You: Feel free to stay in my bed with me if you ever visit.
Stranger: hahah perfect, now i got a place to stay
You: And I have a place to visit, if you catch my drift.
Stranger: hahahha gotcha
You: Why are you awake so late/early?
Stranger: bored, cant sleep
Stranger: haha
Stranger: drinking earlier
You: Have a heroin. That should make you tired.
Stranger: damn, just ran out
You: If your heroin has started running away, you need less LSD.
Stranger: either that or i should put some more bolts on the door
You: That way, you won’t get people like me coming in and taking advantage of a drunk you.
Stranger: hahah well maybe i should leave them off then
You: Whore.
Stranger: hahah my bad
You: I’m not complaining.
Stranger: hahah alright
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: usual sleepwear haha t shirt and shorts
You: Very nice.
Stranger: i guess ha
You: I didn’t sleep last night either.
Stranger: whys that?
You: I wanted to complete Portal II in one sitting.
Stranger: whats that?
You: A video game.
Stranger: ohhh cool
You: Do you like games?
Stranger: i like them, but i dont know anything about them… i play when others around me are playing
You: What do you do with your free time?
Stranger: read, hang around and bullshit hah
You: I wish I could read.
Stranger: yeah it would make things like omegle much more interesting
Stranger: just a bunch of gibberish now
You: If I’ve made any sense at all it’s purely by pineapple.
Stranger: ahh that lucky yellow fruit, always helping ya out
You: Do you like pineapples?
Stranger: depends
You: On what?
Stranger: i dont eat it by itself.. but i like pineapple flavored stuff
You: What about pineapple flavoured fruit?
Stranger: no way
Stranger: thats just pushing it too far
You: Pushing a pineapple too far can cause serious pain.
Stranger: dont i know it
You: I would have liked to see that.
Stranger: hahah right
You: What are you doing now?
Stranger: chilling in bed haha
You: Have another blanket if you’re cold.
Stranger: hahah dont worry i got that taken care of
Stranger: its actually hot as hell here right now
You: I can imagine.
Stranger: mmhmmm
You: Seen any good films lately?
Stranger: nope, havent been to the movies in awhile
Stranger: how bout you?
You: I don’t watch many films.
Stranger: thats fair
You: Like a theme park or my skin.
Stranger: unless theres rides involved, ide have to go with the skin
You: There are rides involved with both options.
Stranger: oh ok well then either way
Stranger: haha
You: Got any plans for tomorrow?
Stranger: nope
Stranger: sleeping in
You: Lazy students, sponging off the system and wasting taxpayers’ money.
Stranger: yeah and dont even get me started about those square pants they wear
You: And their round shirts or triangular blouses.
Stranger: too geometrical these days
You: Every day is like a Dali picture.
Stranger: whoa mind blown
You: Don’t hold your hairdryer so close to your ear.
Stranger: especially not in the bathtub
You: Unless you’re going for a frizzy afro.
Stranger: oh you know i am
You: Do you want to come to England and have sex with me tonight?
Stranger: hahah what if i was already on my way
You: I would commend your efficiency.
Stranger: why thank you
You: You are very welcome.
Stranger: hahah
You: Nice palindrome.
Stranger: a nut for a jar of tuna
You: I’m a tuba, but am I?
Stranger: hahah nice
You: I made that one myself. Impressed?
Stranger: so very impressed
You: You know what they say, wordplay’s the same as swordplay but in a different order and with less bloodshed.
Stranger: hahahah never eard that one either
You: That’s because it’s a terrible sentence.
Stranger: hahahah no i liked it
You: Then why don’t you marry it?
Stranger: were actually working through tthe divorice process now
Stranger: its rough
You: I’m sorry to hear that. If you need any help getting through this tough time, I’m always here to help you relieve sexual tension.
Stranger: good to hear
Stranger: i was considering going with the previous sentence for that sex counseling but youll do as well
You: Don’t mention sex council. It reminds me of that time I was tried for rape.
Stranger: ohhhh shit
Stranger: my bad
Stranger: it wont happen again?
You: Not if they consent this time.
Stranger: ill give them the heads up on that one
You: It’s actually best to keep your head down if you know I’m cumming.
Stranger: right
Stranger: duhhh
You: Bless you.
Stranger: i prefer gazuntight
You: I like my gays tight too.
Stranger: hahah right
You: Are you tired yet?
Stranger: not in the slightest
Stranger: you?
You: Surprisingly not.
Stranger: cool cool
You: Said the eskimo in his echoing igloo.
Stranger: he shouldve consulted the sound experts before construction
You: Or he should just buy a house like normal people.
Stranger: we cant rush him
Stranger: let him come in his own time
You: You can’t rush a wank.
Stranger: ill keep that in mind
You: Good.
Stranger: sooo wassup??
You: The opposite of down. It’s a very simple word.
Stranger: mmm clearly i gotta brush up on my dr. suess
You: He’ll be a lucky man to have you brushing up against him.
Stranger: lets hope he doesnt object
You: I really don’t think he would.
Stranger: cool as long as i have to go-ahead from you
You: I can’t really stop you, because I am weak and you could probably beat me in a fight.
Stranger: what makes you say that? haha
You: I tried to a chin-up this morning. I couldn’t even do it.
Stranger: hahah well keep trying, maybe you can beat me someday
You: I’d certainly like to try.
Stranger: we’ll have to arrange that then
You: Do you like getting tied to a bed and spanked by someone who looks like a fat Milky Bar kid?
Stranger: depends… would i get milky bars as well? haha
You: It wouldn’t exactly be milk…
Stranger: hahah but would it taste good?
You: It depends on whether or not you like the taste of semen.
Stranger: what do you think?
You: You seem like a massive whore, so I’d say yes.
Stranger: hahah well the massive whore may be a bit of an exaggeration… the alcohol may have something to do with that
Stranger: but guess i could have the milk every once in a while if the situation arises
You: I like normal milk. Do you?
Stranger: 2%’s my thing
You: Me too, but I bought a 4% the other day and that was lovely.
Stranger: whooaaa we dont have anythign bigger than whole milk here
You: 4% is whole milk.
Stranger: oh
Stranger: my bad
Stranger: haha
You: I think it should go up to about 20%. If I ever make milk, it will go up to 20% fat.
Stranger: whoa, dreaming big over there
You: Mummy, mummy, when I grow up, I want to have cow and make fattening milk with it.
Stranger: such ambitions…
You: It’s only a pipe dream.
Stranger: unfortunate
You: Yep. It’s a shame.
Stranger: well when i get rich on that petrol idea ill make sur eyou get all the cows you need for your milk
You: Good callback. Then we can team up and make petrol cows.
Stranger: well be unstoppable
You: Unless there’s an outbreak of foot and piston disease.
Stranger: well be sure to keep that real hush hush then
Stranger: sweep it under the table
You: Like the dust and dead bodies.
Stranger: well there ya go letting out more secrets… thats exactly the kind of thing youre gonna have to control if we wanna make it to the top
You: I want to make it to your top and then go under it.
Stranger: you may have to talk to HR about that.. dont know how they feel about intercompany relations
You: I’m the HR around these parts, and I’ll be the HR around your parts too if you’re lucky.
Stranger: hahaha i can only hope
You: Or you could not hope and be replused by the idea like most other females.
Stranger: ehh doubt that
You: I don’t actually know. I’ve never spoken to a girl in real life.
Stranger: not true, i seem to remember you asking your mom for a nice cow earlier
You: Okay, Miss Memory, but she’s not really a girl.
Stranger: she was once
Stranger: and thats mrs. memory to you, i told you about my whole debacle with the sentence-divorce
You: Sorry, Mrs. Memory.
Stranger: thanks
You: What’s your first name?
Stranger: molly
Stranger: yours?
You: Lydon.
Stranger: cool
You: I used to know a girl called Molly.
Stranger: thought you didnt speak to girls?
You: I didn’t think my story through. Nowadays, I don’t often speak to girls.
Stranger: alright, story amended
Stranger: although not entirely correct, seeing as how youre talking to one now
You: You might really be man.
Stranger: damn, you got my secret
Stranger: although i have a feeling a man named molly would be ridiculed immensely on the playground
You: Were you ridiculed immensely on the playground?
You: I need to go now.
You: The connection has disconnected, which is very annoying.

You: Hello.
Stranger: asl?
You: 18. Male. England.
Stranger: bi?
You: Are you going?
Stranger: ?
You: You just said bye.
Stranger: bisexual
You: No, I don’t want to buy sex from you.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hello
You: Good morning.
Stranger: morning?
Stranger: where are you??
You: England.
Stranger: certainly its still the eve
You: It is here. I though it might be morning where you are.
Stranger: why you think that?
You: I’m a gambling man.
Stranger: fell, Im afraid Ill have to dissapoint you
Stranger: good sir
You: From where are you?
Stranger: tis 22:56 here
Stranger: :p
Stranger: Dublin
You: Is that near Ireland?
Stranger: :|
You: I’ll take that as a no. How old are you?
Stranger: ……its the capital of Ireland
You: That’s Belfast, silly.
Stranger: *facepalm*
Stranger: Republic of Ireland!!!
Stranger: the real Ireland!
You: It’s all the same, though.
Stranger: WHAT????
You: Ireland is just one big lump.
Stranger: lol, no I know youre just fucking with me
You: Yes. Of course I know Ireland is on two islands.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: ok, lets end the jokes
Stranger: how old are you?
You: 18 years young.
Stranger: im 19
Stranger: and I know you know that Dublin is the capital of Ireland
Stranger: also that its part of Republic of Ireland
You: I can’t quite recall the name Dublin.
Stranger: and Belfast is the capital of Northern Ireland, which is part of the UK
Stranger: and Ireland is one island
Stranger: also it is not a lump
You: So is Ireland the same as Wales?
Stranger: …
Stranger: yes
Stranger: yes it is
You: And you come from Southern Island?
Stranger: no
Stranger: I come from Ukraine
Stranger: now we have a twist in the plot
You: Is the Ukraine the local name for Scotland because it is the rainy part of the UK?
Stranger: lol
Stranger: yeah sure
Stranger: come down there once in a while
Stranger: on Tuesdays we parade around naked on the streets
Stranger: its tradition
You: Niiiiice. I will go down and visit you sometime.
Stranger: you should
You: Are you male or inferior?
Stranger: I am male
You: I’m not gay.
Stranger: neither am I
You: You are. What brings you to Omegle, gay?
Stranger: ……
Stranger: hmmm
You: Have you just cum?
Stranger: affirmative
Stranger: u mad?
You: No. It turns me on.
You: I’m not gay, though.
Stranger: yeah, sure youre not
Stranger: problem?
You: I’ll have sex with you and not enjoy it to prove I am not gay.
Stranger: I would hit you very hard if you come close to me in pursuit of sex
You: You are a homophone.
Stranger: meh
Stranger: whatever you want to call it
Stranger: I know what I am
You: A big fat gay.
Stranger: and Im too lazy to prove
Stranger: yeah sure
Stranger: im that
Stranger: what about you
Stranger: what are you?
You: I am not a homophone but I’m not gay.
Stranger: go on
You: I am straight – sorry to disappoint you.
Stranger: im fine
Stranger: go on
You: That’s all.
Stranger: youre a boring individual
You: Yes.
Stranger: finally we agree on something together
You: You can leave any time you want.
Stranger: I suppose I could
You: But I think you fancy me.
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: ;)
You: Don’t do that.
Stranger: what?
Stranger: this?
Stranger: ;)
You: I don’t like that.
Stranger: yes you do
Stranger: ;)
Stranger: me gusta!
You: I might like it, but I won’t say.
Stranger: ..
Stranger: ok
Stranger: :(
You: That’s a better face because I hate you.
Stranger: you know you love me
Stranger: dont deny it
Stranger: we connected during this conversation
You: At the start.
Stranger: in fact, I think you’re pregnant
You: No, I’m just fat.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: go do some exercise
Stranger: and eat less junk
You: I’ll move tomorrow.
Stranger: you better
You: Got a boyfriend?
Stranger: I have a gf
You: A gay fag?
Stranger: girl
Stranger: friend
You: Gay.
You: Fag.
Stranger: oook
Stranger: im leaving now
Stranger: been a pleasure
You: She looks like a man anyway.
Stranger: adios fag
You: Bye, sexy.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello. I’m male.
Stranger: hey, ask me anything
Stranger: I’m also male
Stranger: wanna have a non-sexual conversation?
You: Are you a big fat gay?
Stranger: nope
You: Do you like sex?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: who doesn’t?
You: From my experience, all girls don’t want to have sex.
Stranger: you’re a virgin?
You: No.
Stranger: so a rapist then
You: She would have consented.
Stranger: would have?
Stranger: why didn’t she?
You: Her throat was slit.
Stranger: then you’re a virgin
Stranger: dead chicks don’t count
You: Yes they do.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Good morning.
Stranger: were u from cus here it night
You: England.
Stranger: yes
You: Thanks for confirming my answer.
Stranger: were u from
Stranger: r u a girl
Stranger: women
You: Yes. I am an women.
Stranger: what ur nma
Stranger: name
You: Lydon.
Stranger: were u from
You: St Mary Cray.
Stranger: were at wat country
You: England.
Stranger: were about
You: St Mary Cray.
Stranger: were is that
You: England.
Stranger: kk
Stranger: wat do u like doing
Stranger: in ur spare time
You: I like playing Xbox.
Stranger: nd u r a girl
You: That’s a lie if you’re an idiot.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Male or inferior?
Stranger: hi
You: Hello.
Stranger: female
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 18
Stranger: you
You: 17 years young. From where are you, old lady?
Stranger: old lady? thanks
Stranger: from turkey you?
You: England. What are you wearing?
Stranger: t-shirt and jean
Stranger: why
You: I need to do something about my boner.
Stranger: your boner? what do you mean
You: I mean do you have a boyfriend?
Stranger: no we have just broken up
You: That’s sad. Why?
Stranger: he doesnt love me
You: The bastard. Did he just use you for sex?
Stranger: he used me for his ego
You: Men are pigs. Do you like sex?
Stranger: im virgin young boy :)
You: Not for long, if I have anything to do with it.
Stranger: why you are so corious about me virginity or what im wearing young boy?
You: Because I am a horny male, but I’m also writing a book.
Stranger: hey im elder than you so respect :)
You: I show to respect to all women.
You: Do you have any naked photos of yourself?
Stranger: no i havent
You: That’s a shame.
Stranger: sorry but im here for looking penpals
You: Penpals with benefits?
Stranger: I wanna improve my english im good at it but i just wanna talk with stranger
You: About what do you want to talk?
Stranger: i wanna talk about everything
Stranger: for instance
Stranger: about their culture food how they live about their school
You: I like sausages but you’re probably not allowed them. At school, I can talk to members of the opposite sex, but you’re probably not allowed to.
Stranger: we can eat sauseges and we can talk with boys :)
Stranger: but we dont eat pig meat
Stranger: its sin
You: Sausages don’t have to be pig, so I’ll give you that one. Is everyone who eats pig going to Hell?
Stranger: no but its sin we believe like that
Stranger: but i dont believe like that
You: Do you mean you don’t believe eating pig is a sin?
Stranger: yes i eat pig meat
You: Good girl.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.