Omegle

You: Hello. 18. Male. England.
Stranger: wasnt gonna ask…
Stranger: but okay
You: Most people ask.
Stranger: yeah i know
Stranger: but i think its weird
Stranger: how about this: u guess my asl, i’ll tell you hot or cold
You: 17. Female. USA.
Stranger: hahaha damn pretty hot
Stranger: 19 f canada
You: As far as I’m concerned, my guess was perfect.
Stranger: hey!
Stranger: usa and canada are two totally diff things
Stranger: anyway, canada and england are like, cousins
You: Canada and America are like identical twins.
Stranger: omg
Stranger: that hurts
Stranger: so bad
You: Feel that pain.
Stranger: why you gotta be like that?
You: I am evil.
Stranger: hm. i figured
Stranger: supervillains are always british anyway
You: And nobody is ever Canadian.
Stranger: gotta hand it to you guys though: arctic monkeys
Stranger: and what?
You: The Arctic Monkeys are old. Get with the times.
Stranger: so what?
Stranger: anyway all the best music is from montreal
Stranger: sonic youth are old too, that doesnt mean they arent awesome
You: Sonic Youth are young. It’s in the name.
Stranger: yeah no
You: Yeah yeah. Youth means young. Don’t you even know that yet?
Stranger: you’re just a grump.
Stranger: ciao
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello.
Stranger: m
Stranger: u
You: What?
Stranger: ?????/
Stranger: male
Stranger: you ?
You: I’m fine, thanks.
Stranger: u r male or female ?
Stranger: ?????
You: Guess.
Stranger: female ???????
You: Maybe.
Stranger: what ?????
Stranger: hole or pole ???????
You: That’s rude.
Stranger: tell me…
Stranger: ????????????
You: Why do you care?
Stranger: i care for my cock only
Stranger: not for ur pussy ,,, if u have
You: Oh right.
Stranger: okkkk
Stranger: bye
You: Bye, big boy.
Stranger: tell me if u r female
You: You just said you were going.
Stranger: i m lookng for female
Stranger: and coz u r not tellng thats y? i wana leave
You: I’m such a cocktease, aren’t I?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: Disconnect me
You: Why?
Stranger: I want to do the spy thing and I can’t get it
You: Disconnect yourself.
Stranger: No, you
You: No you hang up first.
Stranger: No you
You: Don’t make me come over there.
Stranger: YOU disconnect ME
You: No, gay.
Stranger: I take that in offense.
Stranger: Disconnect me
You: OK.
Stranger: FUCK
Stranger: Do it.
You: I’m about to do it.
Stranger: Stop taking your time and DO IT DAMN IT.
You: I almost did it then.
Stranger: FUCK YOOOU
You: I’m not going to do it now.
Stranger: I bet if you did disconnect me, it wouldn’t let me do the spy thing because of your bad attitude.
You: You’re the dick who can’t click a fucking button.
Stranger: I did, like a million times, and it didn’t work.
You: Then you’re an idiot.
Stranger: It didn’t give me the option.
Stranger: To do the spy thing.
You: Your best bet would be to try to get someone else to disconnect.
Stranger: I don’t like your attitude.
Stranger: Fix it.
You: Will you have sex with me if I do?
Stranger: Sure.
You: Gay.
Stranger: Ha.
You: Bless you.
Stranger: Didn’t your mother ever teach you manners?
You: She said manners only matter when one is talking to girl that one is trying to impress.
Stranger: Oh, so does that make you a lesbian then?
You: No. Why would it?
Stranger: If you’re talking to a girl and trying to impress her. It just makes sense that you’d be a lesbian. Why else would you try to impress her?
You: I understand that logic, but there are two key elements to lesbianism.
Stranger: And?
You: Do you know what they are?
Stranger: What ar- wait, lesbianism?
Stranger: Haha.
You: Yes. What two things does a person have to be to be a lesbian?
Stranger: I think there are more than two but okay.
Stranger: They have to be female, and be attracted to a female.
You: Well done. You’re learning.
Stranger: I assumed you were female.
Stranger: Hah.
Stranger: So it didn’t backfire on me.
You: Do you want to see a picture of my balls to prove I am male?
Stranger: Only if you want to see mine.
You: What? I thought you were female.
Stranger: Haha.
You: This is better than the spy thing, isn’t it?
Stranger: Haha
Stranger: Yes
Stranger: Now I admitted that you’ll probably disconnect.
You: No. I like the company.
Stranger: Sweetness.
You: http://img535.imageshack.us/img535/2112/ballsr.jpg
Stranger: Hah it says balls in the link.
You: Yes. They are my balls. Look at them.
Stranger: No
You: Are you afraid you’ll like them?
Stranger: A picture doesn’t prove they’re yours.
You: They are, though.
Stranger: Nah
You: Fair enough. They are very disgusting.
Stranger: Haha
You: How are your balls?
Stranger: They’re fine thanks for asking.
You: Producing enough semen and everything?
Stranger: Yeah,
Stranger: Production has actually been up, this past week.
You: Wanker?
Stranger: Yuh.
You: What’s your record in one day?
Stranger: It’s bad luck to keep track
You: Lightweight.
Stranger: Oh and you’re a heavyweight
You: I can cum loads.
Stranger: Awesome for you.
You: Once I had a dream and I came in the kitchen and it went up into the corner.
Stranger: I’m having trouble understanding
You: It’s an easy sentence.
Stranger: You came because of the dream, or you came in the kitchen, in the dream.
You: I came in the dream.
Stranger: No so easy for me. I’m an idiot remember :)
You: Oh yes. You don’t know how to click a button.
Stranger: Right.
Stranger: I thought we established this was better.
You: Not for me. I wanted cybersex and got you instead.
Stranger: Haha
Stranger: Wouldn’t it be funny if I was really a girl?
You: That would make me feel better for wanking over this conversation.
Stranger: I am a girl.
You: So am I.
Stranger: Sweet.
Stranger: But I want to be a guy so I’m reverting back to that now.
You: You’ve got issues.
Stranger: All guys have issues.
Stranger: Yours are worse than mine though.
You: How do you know about my issues?
Stranger: I can see through your typing.
You: What are my issues?
Stranger: You know.
Stranger: Why do you say I have issues?
You: You are a man pretending to be a woman pretending to be a man. That’s weird.
Stranger: Hahaha.
Stranger: Not as weird as you believing it.
You: If you’re not a man being a woman being a man, what are you?
Stranger: Just a man.
You: You were being a woman earlier, pervert.
Stranger: I just said I was a girl, then said I wasn’t. Doesn’t mean I was.
You: I bet you dress up like a little girl, don’t you?
Stranger: It was like two sentences, that’s hardly being a pervert.
Stranger: Not a little girl, that would be weird.
You: Weird suits you.
Stranger: You know what…I think you’re right. But that’s just your idea of weird.
You: I am the sole arbiter of normality.
Stranger: And no, not little girl. I may be odd to you, but I’m no pedo.
Stranger: Normality? and what is that to you?
You: Rob Crane.
Stranger: And who would that be.
You: The most normal and mediocre person alive.
Stranger: Oh that’s probably why I don’t know who he is.
You: It’s a she.
Stranger: Oh cool.
Stranger: Oh that’s probably why I don’t know who she is.
You: Why aren’t you asleep?
Stranger: I don’t like sleep.
You: What about when you are tired?
Stranger: Then I sleep.
You: Once I went 12 hours without sleeping.
Stranger: Bravo.
You: Thanks.
Stranger: I bet you live with your parents.
You: No. I don’t.
Stranger: Oh? You’re a big boy?
You: Yes. I just live with my Mum.
Stranger: Ah.
You: Bless you.
Stranger: You never let me finish.
You: What do you mean?
Stranger: This is why we can’t go nice places.
You: The reason we can’t go nice places is because I never leave the house.
Stranger: Hmm
Stranger: I am going to say that you are from the European region.
You: Yes. It was a 50/50 chance.
Stranger: I derived that conclusion from you saying mum instead of mom, and wanking instead of jacking off.
You: “Mom”? How do you spell Dad? “Did”?
Stranger: Dad is the same.
You: Dad is the same as Mum in your household, judging by your fetish.
Stranger: Haha.
Stranger: Just because I like to crossdress doesn’t mean anything of the sort.
You: I tried crossdressing once. The crucifix looked nice with a jacket on.
Stranger: I don’t follow
You: Do they have jokes in America?
Stranger: Nobody here has a sense od humor.
Stranger: of*
You: Nor a sense of spelling, it would seem.
Stranger: I just don’t understand the crucifix being mentioned. And I’m not the only one that has hit the wrong key.
You: Humour has more letters in that you wrote. I won’t bother explaining the joke.
Stranger: Good.
You: Maybe when you’re older.
Stranger: Humor is a word with spelling variations dumbfuck.
Stranger: Like color.
You: Every word has variations. Most of which are wrong, like humor and color.
Stranger: Hm except each variation is accepted.
Stranger: It’s usually that most people where I live spell those words without a “U,” and it’s obviously opposite for you.
Stranger: Oh yeah, so it’s later where you live, isn’t it your bedtime, got school tomorrow?
You: I have. I need to pick up my shit results.
Stranger: Good luck with that then.
Stranger: When tomorrow comes.
You: Your tomorrow is today today. That’s mad.
Stranger: I’m inclined to agree.
You: At least we agree on something.
Stranger: I think hell might have frozen over then.
Stranger: Check outside and see if there are pigs flying.
You: It’s dark out. I can’t see.
Stranger: Well that sucks for you, it’s light for me so I’ll check.
Stranger: Nope. No flying pigs.
You: Is Hell frozen over?
Stranger: I’m afraid I can’t check that, you might have to do it.
You: I thought you were in Hell? Oh no, it’s just America.
Stranger: Don’t try to hard to insult my homeland, it won’t really do anything. So don’t strain yourself.
Stranger: too*
You: There’s another spelling difference. Here, we don’t call America homeland. We call it Homoland.
Stranger: Haha, that’s a good one.
Stranger: Try to come up with one about how much debt our nation has.
You: America has so much debt, you’d think a monkey was in charge.
Stranger: It’s funny because it’s true!
You: Racist.
Stranger: How so?
You: You said you hope all black people are killed.
Stranger: My bad.
You: Don’t let it happen again.
Stranger: Make one up about how America gets all their t.v show ideas from Britain.
You: America has taken so many TV shows from England, you’d think a monkey was in charge.
You: Callback.
Stranger: Hahaha.
You: Bless you.
Stranger: Thanks.
Stranger: I thought I was going to die.
Stranger: If I DID die while we were talking, you’d never know.
Stranger: You would just disconnect.
Stranger: And I’d be dead on my keyboard.
You: I thought I was going to die once and my whole life flashed before my eyes. It was essentially just history of video games 1995-2011.
Stranger: You’re 15?
You: Yes. I started playing video games when I was 0 years old.
Stranger: So did I!
You: My K/D on Halo was terrible at that age.
You: Especially as Halo never existed then.
Stranger: Hm..why 95′ to 11′?
You: It’s just random. I’ve played older games too so I could have said 1980 to 2011 but that makes me sound old.
Stranger: Only 30
Stranger: If you started at age 0
You: That’s still older than I am.
Stranger: Still not old though.
You: Alright, Granddad.
Stranger: Hahahahah no.
You: Sorry. Do you prefer Grandmother?
Stranger: If it’s the age of someone I’ve had sex with, I don’t consider it old.
You: But you’re a paedophile.
Stranger: I don’t think so.
You: Then why do you dress up as child and masturbate?
Stranger: I don’t dress up like a child.
You: Yes you do, nonce.
Stranger: I wear makeup and skirts sometimes. But how could I dress like a child? I wouldn’t fit.
You: I used to wear children’s clothes and fit perfectly.
Stranger: I think you’re a 16 year old kid that has no life and plays video games in his mother’s basement, in England.
You: I think, despite all that, you’re jealous.
Stranger: Of what may I ask?
You: Of my whole persona.
Stranger: Hm, I’m happy with myself.
Stranger: The only thing I think I could be envious of is that accent.
You: Which accent?
Stranger: The one you have but don’t notice because to you it’s not an accent.
You: It definitely is an accent. I thought you might have meant a Cornwall accent from curmudgeonly Cornwall.
Stranger: Oh really now
You: Yes.
Stranger: “I am the sole arbiter of normality.” You sound boring to me.
You: You’ve had well over an hour to leave if you were bored.
Stranger: I’m just saying.
Stranger: The way you describe yourself is unappealing.
You: How would you describe me? [audience participation]
Stranger: As a cocky teenager who spends too much time alone, and probably doesn’t carry this “persona” with him in his actual life.
You: What actual life?
Stranger: The one that isn’t on omegle.
You: I don’t understand. Not on Omegle?
Stranger: Haa.
Stranger: To be truthful, I don’t think that at all. I actually find you quite entertaining.
You: I’m not going to sleep with you.
Stranger: I’d rather not sleep with you.
Stranger: You’e the one that brought it up.
Stranger: You’re*
You: Why are you being nice if you don’t fancy me, then?
Stranger: Because I’m entertained.
You: Or “teen trained” as I call it. That’s an agram.
Stranger: “Teen trained?”
You: Yep.
Stranger: I’ll assume that you still think me a pedophile then.
You: Yes.
Stranger: That’s funny.
You: Hahahaha.
Stranger: I’m 17 myself, so I technically can’t be one of those until next week.
You: Being a paedo isn’t about age, man. It’s a way of life.
Stranger: Well seeing as you know so much about it then.
You: She said she was 18. I didn’t know she was a foetus.
Stranger: Haah.
You: That’s the sort of laugh only someone who could relate to the joke would do.
Stranger: Oh really?
You: Yes.
Stranger: Well I’m not going to agree.
You: Like the children you proposition.
Stranger: Riiigghht.
You: Bit defensive, I see.
Stranger: Well you see…
You: What do I see?
Stranger: It seems you like to keep bringing up these accusations, so maybe it’s truly you that is the pedo out of the two of us.
You: Yeah. Fair enough. Love ’em.
Stranger: Good going there.
You: Thanks. I’ve never admitted that before.
Stranger: I bet you have a lot of secrets.
You: I just got some orange juice. You’re the first person I ever told.
Stranger: Awesome.
Stranger: I’ll keep your secret.
You: No. It’s my secret. Give it back.
Stranger: No sorry.
You: Thefter.
Stranger: Only sometimes.
Stranger: And if you’re going to call be a theif, say theif, not thefter.
Stranger: me*
You: Thefter is as valid as theif.
Stranger: I say not.
Stranger: I prefer being called a theif, not thefter.
You: I’ll just call you a thief.
Stranger: Thanks.
You: What have you stolen?
Stranger: Your secret.
You: And my heart.
Stranger: No thanks.
You: But I want you, little boy.
Stranger: Nah I’m good.
Stranger: And rather not little.
You: You are so frigid.
Stranger: Thanks.
Stranger: I take that as a compliment.
You: You would do, you virgin.
Stranger: That’s funny.
Stranger: You made me laugh.
You: Laughter to hide your tears?
Stranger: Hahaha.
Stranger: If I had tears I’d use them for lube, not emotions.
You: You’ll never have sex if you don’t cry. Girls like crying.
Stranger: Who ever said I wanted a girl?
You: Sorry. I mean little boy.
Stranger: Not little, big. I prefer big boys.
You: I don’t understand.
Stranger: I don”t dig little boys. More like big boys, men.
You: So… You fancy men? Why? What is that?
Stranger: What is what? I like men. Not a big deal.
You: But where do you put your dick?
Stranger: Where do you think?
You: In the other man’s jap’s eye?
Stranger: I don’t find Japs attractive.
Stranger: Care for another guess? I hardly think you’re so obtuse to not know.
You: I don’t want to think about it. Are you getting off over my discomfort?
Stranger: Why would (n’t) I?
You: Because I’ve just looked up what you do, and I think you might be gay.
Stranger: You had to look it up? I could’ve told you.
You: I wish I had just asked. Those images…
Stranger: You really didn’t pick up on it?
You: You do seem a bit gay.
Stranger: I think more than a bit.
You: Shut up. I don’t want to know.
Stranger: Hahahahahahahahaha
You: You laugh like a gay.
Stranger: Guess what else I do like a gay?
You: You wee sitting down?
Stranger: If I’m wearing a skirt.
You: Which you always do because you are gay.
Stranger: Not all the time.
Stranger: Just sometimes.
You: Anyway, as a homophobe, I feel uncomfortable talking to you now. Bye, gay.
Stranger: Have a nice time then, I feel it strange that you didn’t pick up on it. Especially when I admitted to wearing woman’s clothes.
Stranger: A long time ago.
You: I thought you were taking the piss.
Stranger: Bye now ;)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello. I’m male.
Stranger: im female
You: I’ve never spoken to one of you before.
Stranger: really?
You: Maybe a few times.
Stranger: hahah ok
You: From where are you?
Stranger: california u?
You: England.
Stranger: cool
Stranger: i want to go there one day
You: Why?
Stranger: because i’ve never been there and idk what its like
You: It’s similar to America.
Stranger: hmmm….. ok
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 16 how old are u?
You: 18. You are so young.
Stranger: just 2 years younger than u
You: You’re still practically a baby, though.
Stranger: hahha y do u say that?
You: You have only recently been born.
Stranger: haha not really its been 16 years
You: How many people have you had sex with, then?
Stranger: … none
You: Then you’re practically a baby.
Stranger: hahah hbu?
You: 1, and that was a baby.
Stranger: really ? how old was she?
You: 16.
Stranger: how old were u?
You: 20.
Stranger: how old are u now?
You: 18. I was just testing you. I was 16.
Stranger: hahah ok
Stranger: i was confused for a sec
You: Confused for a sex? You’re female.
Stranger: haha i know that
You: You do look a bit like a man, though.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Helllo.
Stranger: Hello.
You: Who are you?
Stranger: My names Elizabeth, and yourself?
You: I am the funk soul brother. Check me out now.
Stranger: And why should I?
You: Because that’s how it goes. From where are you?
Stranger: Kentucky.
You: How do you like your chicken?
Stranger: Why does everyone seem to ask that when I say I’m from Kentucky. You do know, not everyone eats chicken, nor do they eat Kentucky Fried Chicken.
You: What perverts eat chicken? I was just asking how you showed appreciation for your pet chicken.
Stranger: And also, just because I’m from Kentucky, doesn’t mean that I live out in the country living in a house on a farm. That’s rare that you’ll find them where I live. I do not own a chicken thank you.
You: What peverts don’t own a chicken?
Stranger: A lot of them.
You: How old are you, Zaby?
Stranger: I am in the age of teenage years. I am sixteen..
You: OK, grandma.
Stranger: Seriously, are you really going to be immature?
You: Yes I’m.
Stranger: Well alright then. I will be leaving, since you have seemed to piss me off. Goodbye, and nice chatting with you.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello.
Stranger: hey
You: Who are you?
Stranger: im a duck. who are you?
You: You’re a dick, more like.
Stranger: uhm, no… im actually a really nice guy, apparently =)
You: You sound gay to me.
Stranger: im not
You: I’m not judging you.
Stranger: good
You: It’s fine to be gay.
Stranger: i suppose… i wouldnt know
You: Don’t worry. Got a boyfriend?
Stranger: no
Stranger: im a dude
Stranger: and im not gay
You: Why are you so defensive about it?
Stranger: im not, people just often say that
Stranger: and i have a headache
You: Have you been sucking too much cock?
Stranger: fuck you
You: I bet you’d like to, wouldn’t you?
Stranger: fucking troller
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Good morning.
Stranger: whats the shortest masturbation session you have had to orgasm?
You: 12 seconds.
Stranger: be forreal?
You: From the point of touching to ejaculation.
Stranger: so u were already hard and just pumped like 4 times and came
You: Pretty much.
Stranger: how old are u
You: 18 years young. Why do you want to know, gay boy?
Stranger: lol im not gay just bored lol
You: What’s your fastest?
Stranger: i mean its not really an offensive question
Stranger: minute 30
You: I think you may be frigid if it takes you that long.
Stranger: lol how old were u when u did that
Stranger: and well i mean i guess i have in like 30 seconds
You: Don’t lie. I was probably about 15.
Stranger: dont lie im being truthful no less than that
Stranger: i mean i couldnt make myself do it any faster than that
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 19
You: You need to get laid.
Stranger: lol have been
You: Sure you have.
Stranger: i sure have
You: Your hand doesn’t count.
Stranger: i know lol my gf back when i was 16 does though
You: Only one girl?
Stranger: no like 4
You: Yeah, virgin.
Stranger: ok believe what u want bro
You: Only a virgin would say that.
Stranger: lol no a virgin wouldnt
You: But you would.
Stranger: haha yeah because im not a virgin
You: Whatever, Mr Tracy.
You: Mr Virgil Tracy.
Stranger: lol
You: Mr Virgil Virgin Motherfucking Tracy.
Stranger: ur cracking me up
You: I bet you like me up your crack, you gay.
Stranger: lol ok homo
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Question to discuss:
Show me your boobs!
You: OK.
Stranger: OK
You: Echo.
Stranger: (.)(.)
You: I just came.
Stranger: 8============D
You: That’s gay.
Stranger: 8============D~~~~~
Stranger: only if oyu like it.
Stranger: *you
You: I don’t.
Stranger: then it’s not gay.
You: Are you gay?
Stranger: BESIDES, THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING GAY.
Stranger: and no.
You: Being gay is sinful.
Stranger: how do you figure?
You: The Bible says “He who sleeps with another man is gay” Quentin 9:36.
Stranger: It also says you can’t shave.
You: I don’t.
Stranger: Or have sex before marriage.
You: I don’t do either. I’m only 12.
Stranger: Or pierce anyhting
Stranger: LOL, 12.
Stranger: Once you’re 16, you’ll understand that being gay isn’t an issue.
You: Being gay is gay.
Stranger: Unless you live in the south.
You: Like Australia?
Stranger: and then you’re going to be a conservative dumbass.
Stranger: nah
Stranger: south like the southern part of the US
You: South America?
Stranger: no.
Stranger: The southern states.
Stranger: Texas, Louisiana, etc.
You: I’ve not heard of those countries.
Stranger: STATES.
You: They’re not very nice?
Stranger: nah, bro.
Stranger: they fail at life.
You: Racist.
Stranger: lol, not even.
Stranger: Most of them are white, JUST LIKE ME.
Stranger: they just have shitty points of view.
Stranger: you’re boring.
Stranger: I’m outtie.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hey
You: Hello.
Stranger: asl?
You: 18. Male. England.
Stranger: 14, female, usa.
You: Hahaha. Baby.
Stranger: haha yeah :(
You: I could make you feel like a woman.
Stranger: hahaha i have a boyfriend
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello.
Stranger: hey
Stranger: horny boy?
You: Yes. You?
Stranger: no
Stranger: im a girl looking to chat cuz im bored
You: Chat about what?
Stranger: idk anything really
Stranger: as long as its not about sex
You: What is your favourite type of sex?
Stranger: ok what did i just say?
You: Something about shoes?
Stranger: uhhh
You: Bless you.
Stranger: i didnt sneeze
You: Sorry. I thought you did.
Stranger: ok whatever
Stranger: so how exactly did u get horny?
You: I was born male.
Stranger: right
Stranger: do u think 12 year ol boys r horny too?
You: I was.
Stranger: 13?
You: I was.
Stranger: 1?
You: Probably not.
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: 10?
You: Maybe.
Stranger: 11?
You: What the fuck is this?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello.
Stranger: hey
You: Hey, gay, as I always say.
Stranger: hahah really?
You: No.
Stranger: what do you say then? ha
You: I usually just say “horny f?”
Stranger: hahah well i got the f.. could go either way with the horny part
Stranger: you?
You: 18. Male. England.
Stranger: cool
You: You?
Stranger: 21 f usa
You: You are an old lady.
Stranger: hahah sorry..
You: It’s not your fault. It’s your parents I have the issue with.
Stranger: ah of course
You: What brings you to Omegle?
Stranger: bored as fuck haha
Stranger: you?
You: Bored of fuck
You: ing. Coz I is a playa.
Stranger: hahahah
Stranger: nice
You: What do you do in life?
Stranger: student
Stranger: you?
You: Unemployed.
Stranger: cool cool
You: What do you study?
Stranger: physics
You: What’s that?
Stranger: likee…. the way stuff works haha
You: That’ll do. Can you get a career in physics?
Stranger: engineering…
You: What kind do you want to be?
Stranger: dont know yet
You: You women just can’t make your minds up.
Stranger: exactly the problem
You: Word on the street is: all the money is in the petrol industry.
Stranger: hmmm i better get on that then
You: If you make lots of money, half of it is rightly mine for telling you.
Stranger: well, naturally
You: You got a boyfriend?
Stranger: nope
You: Lesbian.
Stranger: haha nope
You: Why don’t you have a boyfriend?
Stranger: just dont hah
You: Do you only have half your limbs or something?
Stranger: i actually just have the one arm… im typing with one hand here
You: I’m typing with one arm now at the thought of that.
Stranger: hahahah
You: Where in the US are you?
Stranger: ca
You: Nice. I have been there.
Stranger: cool
Stranger: where you at in england?
You: London.
Stranger: sweet
Stranger: never been
You: Feel free to stay in my bed with me if you ever visit.
Stranger: hahah perfect, now i got a place to stay
You: And I have a place to visit, if you catch my drift.
Stranger: hahahha gotcha
You: Why are you awake so late/early?
Stranger: bored, cant sleep
Stranger: haha
Stranger: drinking earlier
You: Have a heroin. That should make you tired.
Stranger: damn, just ran out
You: If your heroin has started running away, you need less LSD.
Stranger: either that or i should put some more bolts on the door
You: That way, you won’t get people like me coming in and taking advantage of a drunk you.
Stranger: hahah well maybe i should leave them off then
You: Whore.
Stranger: hahah my bad
You: I’m not complaining.
Stranger: hahah alright
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: usual sleepwear haha t shirt and shorts
You: Very nice.
Stranger: i guess ha
You: I didn’t sleep last night either.
Stranger: whys that?
You: I wanted to complete Portal II in one sitting.
Stranger: whats that?
You: A video game.
Stranger: ohhh cool
You: Do you like games?
Stranger: i like them, but i dont know anything about them… i play when others around me are playing
You: What do you do with your free time?
Stranger: read, hang around and bullshit hah
You: I wish I could read.
Stranger: yeah it would make things like omegle much more interesting
Stranger: just a bunch of gibberish now
You: If I’ve made any sense at all it’s purely by pineapple.
Stranger: ahh that lucky yellow fruit, always helping ya out
You: Do you like pineapples?
Stranger: depends
You: On what?
Stranger: i dont eat it by itself.. but i like pineapple flavored stuff
You: What about pineapple flavoured fruit?
Stranger: no way
Stranger: thats just pushing it too far
You: Pushing a pineapple too far can cause serious pain.
Stranger: dont i know it
You: I would have liked to see that.
Stranger: hahah right
You: What are you doing now?
Stranger: chilling in bed haha
You: Have another blanket if you’re cold.
Stranger: hahah dont worry i got that taken care of
Stranger: its actually hot as hell here right now
You: I can imagine.
Stranger: mmhmmm
You: Seen any good films lately?
Stranger: nope, havent been to the movies in awhile
Stranger: how bout you?
You: I don’t watch many films.
Stranger: thats fair
You: Like a theme park or my skin.
Stranger: unless theres rides involved, ide have to go with the skin
You: There are rides involved with both options.
Stranger: oh ok well then either way
Stranger: haha
You: Got any plans for tomorrow?
Stranger: nope
Stranger: sleeping in
You: Lazy students, sponging off the system and wasting taxpayers’ money.
Stranger: yeah and dont even get me started about those square pants they wear
You: And their round shirts or triangular blouses.
Stranger: too geometrical these days
You: Every day is like a Dali picture.
Stranger: whoa mind blown
You: Don’t hold your hairdryer so close to your ear.
Stranger: especially not in the bathtub
You: Unless you’re going for a frizzy afro.
Stranger: oh you know i am
You: Do you want to come to England and have sex with me tonight?
Stranger: hahah what if i was already on my way
You: I would commend your efficiency.
Stranger: why thank you
You: You are very welcome.
Stranger: hahah
You: Nice palindrome.
Stranger: a nut for a jar of tuna
You: I’m a tuba, but am I?
Stranger: hahah nice
You: I made that one myself. Impressed?
Stranger: so very impressed
You: You know what they say, wordplay’s the same as swordplay but in a different order and with less bloodshed.
Stranger: hahahah never eard that one either
You: That’s because it’s a terrible sentence.
Stranger: hahahah no i liked it
You: Then why don’t you marry it?
Stranger: were actually working through tthe divorice process now
Stranger: its rough
You: I’m sorry to hear that. If you need any help getting through this tough time, I’m always here to help you relieve sexual tension.
Stranger: good to hear
Stranger: i was considering going with the previous sentence for that sex counseling but youll do as well
You: Don’t mention sex council. It reminds me of that time I was tried for rape.
Stranger: ohhhh shit
Stranger: my bad
Stranger: it wont happen again?
You: Not if they consent this time.
Stranger: ill give them the heads up on that one
You: It’s actually best to keep your head down if you know I’m cumming.
Stranger: right
Stranger: duhhh
You: Bless you.
Stranger: i prefer gazuntight
You: I like my gays tight too.
Stranger: hahah right
You: Are you tired yet?
Stranger: not in the slightest
Stranger: you?
You: Surprisingly not.
Stranger: cool cool
You: Said the eskimo in his echoing igloo.
Stranger: he shouldve consulted the sound experts before construction
You: Or he should just buy a house like normal people.
Stranger: we cant rush him
Stranger: let him come in his own time
You: You can’t rush a wank.
Stranger: ill keep that in mind
You: Good.
Stranger: sooo wassup??
You: The opposite of down. It’s a very simple word.
Stranger: mmm clearly i gotta brush up on my dr. suess
You: He’ll be a lucky man to have you brushing up against him.
Stranger: lets hope he doesnt object
You: I really don’t think he would.
Stranger: cool as long as i have to go-ahead from you
You: I can’t really stop you, because I am weak and you could probably beat me in a fight.
Stranger: what makes you say that? haha
You: I tried to a chin-up this morning. I couldn’t even do it.
Stranger: hahah well keep trying, maybe you can beat me someday
You: I’d certainly like to try.
Stranger: we’ll have to arrange that then
You: Do you like getting tied to a bed and spanked by someone who looks like a fat Milky Bar kid?
Stranger: depends… would i get milky bars as well? haha
You: It wouldn’t exactly be milk…
Stranger: hahah but would it taste good?
You: It depends on whether or not you like the taste of semen.
Stranger: what do you think?
You: You seem like a massive whore, so I’d say yes.
Stranger: hahah well the massive whore may be a bit of an exaggeration… the alcohol may have something to do with that
Stranger: but guess i could have the milk every once in a while if the situation arises
You: I like normal milk. Do you?
Stranger: 2%’s my thing
You: Me too, but I bought a 4% the other day and that was lovely.
Stranger: whooaaa we dont have anythign bigger than whole milk here
You: 4% is whole milk.
Stranger: oh
Stranger: my bad
Stranger: haha
You: I think it should go up to about 20%. If I ever make milk, it will go up to 20% fat.
Stranger: whoa, dreaming big over there
You: Mummy, mummy, when I grow up, I want to have cow and make fattening milk with it.
Stranger: such ambitions…
You: It’s only a pipe dream.
Stranger: unfortunate
You: Yep. It’s a shame.
Stranger: well when i get rich on that petrol idea ill make sur eyou get all the cows you need for your milk
You: Good callback. Then we can team up and make petrol cows.
Stranger: well be unstoppable
You: Unless there’s an outbreak of foot and piston disease.
Stranger: well be sure to keep that real hush hush then
Stranger: sweep it under the table
You: Like the dust and dead bodies.
Stranger: well there ya go letting out more secrets… thats exactly the kind of thing youre gonna have to control if we wanna make it to the top
You: I want to make it to your top and then go under it.
Stranger: you may have to talk to HR about that.. dont know how they feel about intercompany relations
You: I’m the HR around these parts, and I’ll be the HR around your parts too if you’re lucky.
Stranger: hahaha i can only hope
You: Or you could not hope and be replused by the idea like most other females.
Stranger: ehh doubt that
You: I don’t actually know. I’ve never spoken to a girl in real life.
Stranger: not true, i seem to remember you asking your mom for a nice cow earlier
You: Okay, Miss Memory, but she’s not really a girl.
Stranger: she was once
Stranger: and thats mrs. memory to you, i told you about my whole debacle with the sentence-divorce
You: Sorry, Mrs. Memory.
Stranger: thanks
You: What’s your first name?
Stranger: molly
Stranger: yours?
You: Lydon.
Stranger: cool
You: I used to know a girl called Molly.
Stranger: thought you didnt speak to girls?
You: I didn’t think my story through. Nowadays, I don’t often speak to girls.
Stranger: alright, story amended
Stranger: although not entirely correct, seeing as how youre talking to one now
You: You might really be man.
Stranger: damn, you got my secret
Stranger: although i have a feeling a man named molly would be ridiculed immensely on the playground
You: Were you ridiculed immensely on the playground?
You: I need to go now.
You: The connection has disconnected, which is very annoying.

You: Hello.
Stranger: asl?
You: 18. Male. England.
Stranger: bi?
You: Are you going?
Stranger: ?
You: You just said bye.
Stranger: bisexual
You: No, I don’t want to buy sex from you.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hello
You: Good morning.
Stranger: morning?
Stranger: where are you??
You: England.
Stranger: certainly its still the eve
You: It is here. I though it might be morning where you are.
Stranger: why you think that?
You: I’m a gambling man.
Stranger: fell, Im afraid Ill have to dissapoint you
Stranger: good sir
You: From where are you?
Stranger: tis 22:56 here
Stranger: :p
Stranger: Dublin
You: Is that near Ireland?
Stranger: :|
You: I’ll take that as a no. How old are you?
Stranger: ……its the capital of Ireland
You: That’s Belfast, silly.
Stranger: *facepalm*
Stranger: Republic of Ireland!!!
Stranger: the real Ireland!
You: It’s all the same, though.
Stranger: WHAT????
You: Ireland is just one big lump.
Stranger: lol, no I know youre just fucking with me
You: Yes. Of course I know Ireland is on two islands.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: ok, lets end the jokes
Stranger: how old are you?
You: 18 years young.
Stranger: im 19
Stranger: and I know you know that Dublin is the capital of Ireland
Stranger: also that its part of Republic of Ireland
You: I can’t quite recall the name Dublin.
Stranger: and Belfast is the capital of Northern Ireland, which is part of the UK
Stranger: and Ireland is one island
Stranger: also it is not a lump
You: So is Ireland the same as Wales?
Stranger: …
Stranger: yes
Stranger: yes it is
You: And you come from Southern Island?
Stranger: no
Stranger: I come from Ukraine
Stranger: now we have a twist in the plot
You: Is the Ukraine the local name for Scotland because it is the rainy part of the UK?
Stranger: lol
Stranger: yeah sure
Stranger: come down there once in a while
Stranger: on Tuesdays we parade around naked on the streets
Stranger: its tradition
You: Niiiiice. I will go down and visit you sometime.
Stranger: you should
You: Are you male or inferior?
Stranger: I am male
You: I’m not gay.
Stranger: neither am I
You: You are. What brings you to Omegle, gay?
Stranger: ……
Stranger: hmmm
You: Have you just cum?
Stranger: affirmative
Stranger: u mad?
You: No. It turns me on.
You: I’m not gay, though.
Stranger: yeah, sure youre not
Stranger: problem?
You: I’ll have sex with you and not enjoy it to prove I am not gay.
Stranger: I would hit you very hard if you come close to me in pursuit of sex
You: You are a homophone.
Stranger: meh
Stranger: whatever you want to call it
Stranger: I know what I am
You: A big fat gay.
Stranger: and Im too lazy to prove
Stranger: yeah sure
Stranger: im that
Stranger: what about you
Stranger: what are you?
You: I am not a homophone but I’m not gay.
Stranger: go on
You: I am straight – sorry to disappoint you.
Stranger: im fine
Stranger: go on
You: That’s all.
Stranger: youre a boring individual
You: Yes.
Stranger: finally we agree on something together
You: You can leave any time you want.
Stranger: I suppose I could
You: But I think you fancy me.
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: ;)
You: Don’t do that.
Stranger: what?
Stranger: this?
Stranger: ;)
You: I don’t like that.
Stranger: yes you do
Stranger: ;)
Stranger: me gusta!
You: I might like it, but I won’t say.
Stranger: ..
Stranger: ok
Stranger: :(
You: That’s a better face because I hate you.
Stranger: you know you love me
Stranger: dont deny it
Stranger: we connected during this conversation
You: At the start.
Stranger: in fact, I think you’re pregnant
You: No, I’m just fat.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: go do some exercise
Stranger: and eat less junk
You: I’ll move tomorrow.
Stranger: you better
You: Got a boyfriend?
Stranger: I have a gf
You: A gay fag?
Stranger: girl
Stranger: friend
You: Gay.
You: Fag.
Stranger: oook
Stranger: im leaving now
Stranger: been a pleasure
You: She looks like a man anyway.
Stranger: adios fag
You: Bye, sexy.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello. I’m male.
Stranger: hey, ask me anything
Stranger: I’m also male
Stranger: wanna have a non-sexual conversation?
You: Are you a big fat gay?
Stranger: nope
You: Do you like sex?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: who doesn’t?
You: From my experience, all girls don’t want to have sex.
Stranger: you’re a virgin?
You: No.
Stranger: so a rapist then
You: She would have consented.
Stranger: would have?
Stranger: why didn’t she?
You: Her throat was slit.
Stranger: then you’re a virgin
Stranger: dead chicks don’t count
You: Yes they do.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Good morning.
Stranger: hey:)
Stranger: erm it’s the night?
Stranger: well evening
You: Where are you?
Stranger: uk :L
You: Where is that?
Stranger: erm england?
You: Never heard of it.
Stranger: omg where are you from?
You: London.
Stranger: what the hell
You: Have you heard of it?
Stranger: erm thats in england!
You: I don’t think it is.
Stranger: erm it’s
Stranger: it the capital
Stranger: *it’s
You: I got a C on GCSE geography so I should know. It isn’t.
Stranger: it is you freak.. well i think they mark your paper wrong
You: No need to call me a freak. I’m not that ugly.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Good morning.
Stranger: it’s night here.
You: No it isn’t.
Stranger: yeah it is. it’s 0:51.
You: That is morning.
Stranger: No. Night.
You: Are you in Germany?
Stranger: Denmark.
You: Same.
Stranger: Right above Germany.
You: They are all the same.
Stranger: Nope. Not really. If you where from Denmark, you would understand this:
Stranger: N

Stranger: WWWYKI.
You: Hey, sexy.
Stranger: Hey.
You: Who are you?
Stranger: Who am I? Who are YOU?
You: I asked first.
Stranger: I asked second. First is the worst, second is the best.
Stranger: Alright, I’m a female.
You: Unlucky for you.
Stranger: Yeah it is unlucky. I’m stuck with bleeding out of my vagina every month.
You: Niiiiiiiice.
Stranger: And birth pain.. but ya know. That’s life.
Stranger: So, who are YOU.
You: I am male and I’m stuck with bleeding from my cock every month. I think I masturbate too much.
Stranger: Ahaha. Funnnny.
Stranger: Maybe you should cut back on that?
You: Maybe you could do it for me?
Stranger: Really? Really? Your going to ask me THAT? How old are you?
You: 18 years young. You?
Stranger: 16. Do you watch wrestling? (just curious)
You: Only the stuff with women and mud.
Stranger: Oh sweet god, that’s not what I meant.
You: You should have specified, little lady.
Stranger: Like, the WWE.. with John Cena? Kelly Kelly? Randy Orton? ETC.
You: Giant Haystacks?
Stranger: What?
You: He is a wrestleman.
Stranger: Oh. They don’t call them “wrestleman” they call them wrestlers. And for the men it’s Superstars and women: Diva’s.
Stranger: Where you from?
You: England. Have you heard of it? From where are you?
Stranger: Yeah! Of course, I’ve heard of it. I’m from USA.
Stranger: Also known as the country with all the fat people!
You: Are you fat? I will still have sex with you even if you are.
Stranger: Aha nooo. I think I am, but everyone thinks I’m a stick.
You: What’s brown and sticky?
Stranger: This is a trick question.. CHOCOLATE.
You: A stick.
Stranger: CLEVER.
Stranger: I see what you did there.
You: No, you see what people hundreds of years ago did when that joke was invented.
Stranger: Ahaha.
You: So when are you next coming to England?
Stranger: Never. I’ve never even been there before!
You: Then how are we going to have sex? My dick won’t stretch to the USA.
Stranger: Ahahah. We’re not!
You: Cocktease.
Stranger: Take care, spike your hair.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
Are you horny? If you both are, you should do something about that. ;)
Stranger: Not really
You: Pervert.
Stranger: Meh, it’s usually a good conversation starter
You: Can we have sex anyway to please the weirdo?
Stranger: Um
Stranger: Sure?
You: Where do you live?
Stranger: That’s really not important, is it?
Stranger: Wait
Stranger: Do you mean
You: Do you want to meet at my place, then?
Stranger: Like
Stranger: Depends
Stranger: How attractive are you?
You: I’d say I’m an 8.
You: Out of 100.
Stranger: Well I’m more like a 3
Stranger: Oh yeah
Stranger: That sounds like we’re compatible then
You: How many holes have you got?
Stranger: Just one
Stranger: Wait
Stranger: Technically 2
You: I’m not gay.
Stranger: Neither am I
Stranger: I was going to pretend you had boobies
You: I sort of do.
Stranger: YES!
Stranger: This will totally work out then
You: There’s nothing gay about sex with another man.
Stranger: Exactly
Stranger: As long as you don’t have a hardon when you do it
Stranger: Wait what?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: 17. Male. England.
Stranger: 18 female brazil
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: no pants. a thong. a tanktop. no bra
You: Very sexy.
Stranger: thanks’
Stranger: im hornaynay
You: Do you want me to pretend to fuck you?
Stranger: sure
You: I put my dick in you.
Stranger: yum
You: Then I take it out and put it in again.
Stranger: what the fuck why
Stranger: you asswipe
You: That’s sex, that is.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello.
Stranger: hey
Stranger: asl?
You: 5. 5. 5.
Stranger: ???
You: Admeasurement, size, length?
Stranger: not even
You: No. 5 is odd.
Stranger: ur dumb age sex location
You: I’m not dumb.
Stranger: yeah
You: ASL?
Stranger: 15 f usa
You: Niiiiice. What are you wearing?
Stranger: clothes asl?
You: 17. Male. England.
Stranger: cool! haha
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Do you want to see my massive cock?
Stranger: sure
You: Gay.
Stranger: female, you fuck
You: Whore.
Stranger: i know, huh
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 19, or does it not matter
You: 5 and up is fine by me.
Stranger: im sure the 5 year old think your dick is impressive
Stranger: i dont know about me
You: What’s impressive by your standards?
Stranger: a good 8 inches.
Stranger: let me guess, 9, right
You: Half that then add half.
Stranger: half what 8?
You: Does it really matter? It’s small whatever number you half.
Stranger: what happened to this massive cock you told me about
You: Most people quit after that so I didn’t think it would matter what I said.
Stranger: oh. well i didn’t. and now i’m a bit disappointed
You: Sorry. Could it make it up to you somehow?
Stranger: how would you do that?
You: I could fist you?
Stranger: haha. sorry. your fist isn’t going to fit in my pussy, and it aint going in my ass
You: You could fist me?
Stranger: you could get a guy to do that.
You: I’m not gay.
Stranger: didn’t say you were
You: We could hold hands. Does that turn you on?
Stranger: haha. turn me on. no. it doesn’t turn me on. cocks turn me on
You: I could paint my fingers to look like lots of dicks. Would you like that?
Stranger: not in the least
You: You’re a diffcult woman to please.
Stranger: not really. the man just has to have what i need.
You: Food and water and oxygen?
Stranger: food, water, oxygen and a nice cock. we’ve already been over this.
Stranger: i apologize if my sexual nature intimidates you
You: It does intimidate me. I’m only eight.
Stranger: i doubt that.
Stranger: why do you lie? just be honest
You: I am 9 days away from my 18th birthday.
Stranger: thanks. i appreciate the honesty.
Stranger: Happy birthday, by the way.
You: Happy birthday to you too. From where are you?
Stranger: US
You: I’ve heard of that place.
Stranger: i’m done. bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hey, sexy.
Stranger: oh hey there
You: What are you wearing?
Stranger: clothes ;)
You: Thanks for that. I just came.
Stranger: orlly babyy
You: No.
Stranger: (:
You: From where are you?
Stranger: from where are you?
You: I asked first.
Stranger: i was making fun of the way you said it.
Stranger: new jersey though.
You: I didn’t ask what you are wearing.
Stranger: what?
Stranger: lol you just did
You: You said you were wearing a new jersey.
Stranger: no, you asked where i was from
You: And said you were wearing a jersey.
Stranger: i said im from new jersey
Stranger: not a jersey
Stranger: you’re not making any sense.
Stranger: you know.
You: I’m making fish of sense.
Stranger: indeedly.
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 17.
You: Baby.
Stranger: okay well how old are you
You: 18.
Stranger: okay so how does being 17 make me a baby?
You: I was just calling you baby as a term of affection.
Stranger: oh well thanks lovey.
You: Have you got a boyfriend?
Stranger: no i do not!
Stranger: do you have a gf?
You: No. Why not. Are you a lesbian?
Stranger: no maybe no guys are interested in me like that?
Stranger: why would that make me a lesbian?
You: I was just guessing. Sorry if it was too close to home.
Stranger: haha just a little you’re fine though.
Stranger: why don’t you have a gf?
Stranger: you gay?
You: Yes. I am very gay.
Stranger: yeah?
Stranger: thats great are you happy about the ny bill being passed then!?
You: I’m not really gay. Is NY Bill a gay man?
Stranger: okay well im pretty sure you’re like a 50 year old man.
You: Why so, little girl?
Stranger: the way you type, its so obvious.
You: Not all young people are idiots.
Stranger: okay well.
Stranger: it was nice talking to you.
You: Would you go out with me even if I was 50?
Stranger: no.
Stranger: i would go 7 years older tops.
You: Frigid.
Stranger: nah i just have standards.
You: What are they?
Stranger: not 50 year old men.
Stranger: basically.
You: I’m 18, though. Please love me.
Stranger: haha thats okay, ill pass.
Stranger: we cool though, we can be friends.
You: With benefits?
Stranger: nope.
Stranger: not down with that.
You: You’re no fun. You used to be cool.
Stranger: aww.
Stranger: well maybe i guyss friends with benefits it depends on the guy.
You: Depends on cock size?
Stranger: ohh ho ho got me there!
You: You big whore.
Stranger: oh totally.
Stranger: gettting dicks all day errday.
You: I wish I was you.
You: But with pussy.
You: I’m not gay.
Stranger: soo are you saying i dont have pussy?
You: I would need some pictures to tell for sure.
Stranger: oh.
Stranger: well i would like to confirm that you’re actually not a pedophile and just a really horny and bored teenager before that happens.
You: The second one.
Stranger: ill need proof.
You: http://img64.imageshack.us/img64/904/dreamboat.jpg This is me this is.
Stranger: you look younger than 18!
You: I was probably 17 in that picture.
Stranger: understandable.
You: Do you fancy me?
Stranger: you’re cute!
You: I thought you said you had standards?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hello. I’m male.
Stranger: I’m female
Stranger: Age?
You: I’m 18 years young.
Stranger: Cool, I’m 16
You: Hahaha. Baby.
Stranger: Baby? You really think I’m a baby? I’m not that young
You: I’m just messin’ (messing) with ya (you).
Stranger: Mhm. Alright then
You: From where are you?
Stranger: Canada. You?
You: Is that in the USA? England.
Stranger: Canada is a different country than the USA. And you’re British? Awesome, I love British boys ;)
You: Do you want to move to England and have sex with me?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: I am 12 inches. Do you want me?
Stranger: yeah!
You: ASL?
Stranger: 19 f ny
You: Niiiiiice. Like what do you look?
Stranger: um,
Stranger: im a brunette
Stranger: im 5’6″ and im a c cup ;)
You: You are 5.5 times my height.
Stranger: damn
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: I am very gay.
Stranger: Hey
You: Hello.
Stranger: How are you?
You: Male, thanks.
Stranger: No, I meant, how are you?
You: I am fine. Are you in good health?
Stranger: Eh, not really
You: Cheer up. What’s wrong?
Stranger: Uhh, I found out today that I’m pregnant.
You: Are you female?
Stranger: Yup
You: That doesn’t sound too bad.
Stranger: It is
You: Why?
Stranger: Cause I’m 14..
You: You’re a slut.
Stranger: No, ive only ever been with the one guy..
You: Did you wear a condom?
Stranger: It broke :(
You: Yu should stick to anal in future.
Stranger: Ew, no
You: You’d love it.
Stranger: It’s gross.
You: Are you still with the father?
Stranger: Yea
Stranger: Why?
You: Just curious if you needed someone to fuck you after you got all fat and pregnant.
Stranger: Uhhh, okay? I’m not going to get fat..
You: So you’re going to have an abortion, you monster?
Stranger: No. Why would I do that?
You: I wondered how you’d get pregnant without being fat.
Stranger: I’m not going to get fat, I may gain a couple pounds but not fat
You: That’s good then. So are you up for a threesome?
Stranger: No?
You: Are you asking me or telling me?
Stranger: I’m surprised you asked.
You: Why?
Stranger: Because I’m not a fucking slut.
You: You don’t have to be a slut to enjoy a threesome.
Stranger: Dude, ya you do. I slept with him cause I love him.
You: One can love two people at once.
Stranger: Thet
Stranger: Oops
Stranger: They can but I dont
You: So there’s no way I can talk you into a threesome?
Stranger: No.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.